I failed, and now I can't work properly
Hey! This is probably in the wrong forum btw.
So I had "important" exams a few weeks ago and I am starting to get my marks back. I did, fine, no. I did good compared to other people, but I don't feel like it's good, at all. For example, I got a 100%, a 99% which are really good but now I got a 70 and 75% where the average grade was about 62%. I'm just academicaly very demanding to myself, I sometimes think that that's basically the only thing I'm good at, getting good grades. Grades are worthless. So now my average is about 85% which is good but it never feels like it's enough. I want to do medecine so I must say every "bad" grade for me is extremely frustrating even though colleges don't look at this year's grades, so really it's useless pain. But if I can't do it now I will never do it later. So yeah, I just hate myself every time, so I get my expectations higher, so I disapoint myself again, and now I have a ton of homework, and I can't do it. I should be doing my homework instead of writing this. I feel so weak, and as a tea addict I can't work without good tea and all I have left is some very very bad tea, even with sugar it's bad! I just took a shower but still can't concentrate, I don't know what to do, it's such a pain, both on the short and long term I feel like I can't bare academic failure. I dont know what to do, and again I'll regret posting this tomorrow (Hi future me).
Have a good day everyone, I love you
“You must see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.”