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We've started our first discussion for our Christmas campaign which is focusing on religion or cultural beliefs that help you when you're feeling down. Some of the responses will be used anonymously on social media as a video. If you'd like to take part, head over to this thread.

Getting it right at gigs

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Have been thinking of going to more gigs but not sure how to go about it. I think they can be quite tribal and concerned about seeming out of place. However, would not want to miss out on them. You can learn something about the culture by reading and perhaps observing, but when you go there it seems to help to be part of it in the first place. I have heard that you will not be respected if it seems like you are trying too hard to be someone you're not - known as being a poser - but think it can also work the other way as if you do not seem like them they will not approve, and react negatively to you. I see no point in trying to shrug it off because I am concerned about what others think and it would definitely affect how much I would enjoy being somewhere. What kind of things would you say you need to do to make sure that you are accepted?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does this question make sense to you or do I need to word it differently? Maybe no-one has anything to suggest, but there'd be no harm in communicating that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I go to gigs to watch live bands and listen to great music, not to be accepted.
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    Are you talking about going to fairly big gigs? If so, no-one is going to notice you're there on your own - everyone else has whatever their doing on their mind!
    If youre worried about going on your own, you could always look on the band's message board to see if there's a lot of others going on their own because sometimes people meet up with others on their own.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    plugitin wrote: »
    Are you talking about going to fairly big gigs? If so, no-one is going to notice you're there on your own - everyone else has whatever their doing on their mind!
    If youre worried about going on your own, you could always look on the band's message board to see if there's a lot of others going on their own because sometimes people meet up with others on their own.

    Not necessarily. It's not essential to make friends there, at the major ones especially that would probably be expecting too much in fact. I'm more concerned with how to give the right impression. Suspect that particularly at more tribal things such as heavy metal, they are fairly particular about who they want there and do not want to cause embarrassment by being an outsider.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    I go to gigs to watch live bands and listen to great music, not to be accepted.

    Granted, but surely there are some rules that you follow in order not to alienate the others?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    will2 wrote: »
    Granted, but surely there are some rules that you follow in order not to alienate the others?

    Yeah - don't talk on your phone during a quiet song.Old Mad Someone did this and wondered why I gave them a dirty look.:rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're over-thinking things.

    That is all.
  • plugitinplugitin Noob Posts: 2,197 The Mix Regular
    I second what arctic roll has said. Basically providing you don't act like a dick, no-one will care. Plus you'll never see these people again, so it doesnt matter what you think! Go because you enjoy the music, not to 'be cool'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    plugitin wrote: »
    I second what arctic roll has said. Basically providing you don't act like a dick, no-one will care. Plus you'll never see these people again, so it doesnt matter what you think! Go because you enjoy the music, not to 'be cool'

    There's a lot that I have to say about this, but I really don't want to be depressing! I do agree that at, for want of a better word, nicer gigs this is true. Sorry I haven't been for a while, wasn't very sure what to post.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're over-thinking things.

    That is all.

    I disagree with this, but beginning to wonder if this post makes any sense. I don't want to seem too needy, and it is part of a wider issue than what happens at gigs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic put it very short (and succinct) that you are overthinking things. It really does not matter what other people think of you wherever you go, least of all at a gig!

    You have to remember that people are there to see the band, not you, if you want to talk to people and/or fit in get a beer/alcoholic beverage/water/fluid, stand next to some other dude not doing anything and start a conversation about <insert name of band playing here> and let it flow from there, open with something like "Have you ever seen <insert band name> before? I have never been and I'm excited!"

    On alienating others - it is pretty simple, don't be miserable, smile, look happy, don't say things like "I brought a push blade for tonight, its in my sock", don't share highly sensitive opinions, don't be afraid to be different and finally remember there is more to people than what music they like. If you act like a nice person, people will be nice back.

    And one last thing, one of the coolest people I ever met at a gig was standing by a bin on his own wearing a bright pink suit while we waited to see Rammstein. We got drunk together and had a good night - So the moral is never judge a person on whether they look like they fit in or not!... Still not sure why he had a pink suit on though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you should try and be a single woman going to gigs - see how some people look at you then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arctic put it very short (and succinct) that you are overthinking things. It really does not matter what other people think of you wherever you go, least of all at a gig!

    QUOTE]

    Well, that depends on whether or not you are interested in getting along with the others. If you are, then you need to be concerned what they think, if you don't, you need only to be concerned about what they do (this is rarely, if ever, a problem at gigs these days, but there was a time when particular types of music attracted violent and dangerous people). Both approaches can be taken too far - too concerned and you lose integrity and are no longer yourself anymore, not concerned enough and you are not taking in anything from other people, which is counterproductive and isolating.


    You have to remember that people are there to see the band, not you, if you want to talk to people and/or fit in get a beer/alcoholic beverage/water/fluid, stand next to some other dude not doing anything and start a conversation about <insert name of band playing here> and let it flow from there, open with something like "Have you ever seen <insert band name> before? I have never been and I'm excited!"

    True, though I'm not trying to be the centre of attention, if anything the opposite.


    <On alienating others - it is pretty simple, don't be miserable, smile, look happy, don't say things like "I brought a push blade for tonight, its in my sock", don't share highly sensitive opinions, don't be afraid to be different and finally remember there is more to people than what music they like. If you act like a nice person, people will be nice back.>

    Agree that this can make a difference in any situation.

    <And one last thing, one of the coolest people I ever met at a gig was standing by a bin on his own wearing a bright pink suit while we waited to see Rammstein. We got drunk together and had a good night - So the moral is never judge a person on whether they look like they fit in or not!... Still not sure why he had a pink suit on though.>

    I expect he probably liked it. Glad that you had a good night.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stogie wrote: »
    you should try and be a single woman going to gigs - see how some people look at you then.

    If it's what I think you mean, would have thought this would be flattering, but does it become irritating after a while?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    will2 wrote: »
    If it's what I think you mean, would have thought this would be flattering, but does it become irritating after a while?

    depends, not so much now I'm older but I'd prefer not to be thought of as a groupie if I get dressed up for a night out to see a band.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stogie wrote: »
    depends, not so much now I'm older but I'd prefer not to be thought of as a groupie if I get dressed up for a night out to see a band.

    Yes, that is understandable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another thing - when I said I don't want to be the centre of attention, I didn't mean that I want to hide from the world or anything like that, just that I understand that it is not all about me. I think I may post some of these ideas to another thread, because this is not about gigs necessarily.
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