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Ripplemagne's Guide To A Healthy Relationship
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The Site debate style seems to be to ignore my actual points and cherry pick non-sequitur statements from my posts. Then after a page, bring up the same point they didn't want to address before, but ignore the response to it. Learn to read:
If it's bullshit, which is what the lot of you are saying, that means it does not work. And as one of the hivemind pointed out, will get someone definitely shot down. Why is it that it has never failed for me or those whom I've aided?
It can't be "guff" if it works. It may be something you don't understand or haven't observed, but if it's workable, then it's not bullshit.
Trust me. When I was 15 and younger, I would have been right on this with all of you, saying how much of a sexist jerk the big bad Chief is and how he doesn't know what he's talking about. I understand your outrage. I've been there, done that. Then I allowed myself to have an open mind, stopped letting my pride get in the way of my world views and began to learn.
Both. Both of which I'm quite experienced with. That being said, that argument can verily be used against those of you arguing against it, simply by way of my breakdown of Arctic Roll's situation earlier.
If you do fine with the ladies, why were you reading an guide like this to begin with?
DING. DING. DING.
We have a winner. Now, go back and read what I posted to Helen:
On a sidenote, making reference to pychological differences between the sexes on these forums isn't the best idea unless you're trying to stir up the gender warriors.
PUA? What's that
I didn't say that advice couldn't work. I'm sure it does work in some situations and I'm sure it doesn't in others and that's the point.
To state that there is a fool proof way to pick up members of the opposite sex, or a fool proof guide to have a healthy relationship is bollocks. Life aint like that.
I don't think your a sexist jerk. I think your a patronsing prick looking for approval. Stop trying so hard.
Because you posted it to the message boards I'm a member of.
The self-help gurus you mentioned.
No one said it was fool-proof. Obviously fools can fuck it up.
Funny. From what I've seen, I've been very kindly to those who have been politely disagreeing. I've only been a "patronising prick" to people who have, themselves, been patronizing. That's how life works; you get the level of respect that you give out. Input, output.
So, you read everyone on the forums?
Yep.
Actually, Chief, I read nearly every topic on the boards as they come up, as do most people here. It doesn't mean that I have suicide tendencies, menstruation problems (
Personally, I did not identify with your guide either but I didn't have the interest to deconstruct it line by line.
If it works for you, that's great. Many intelligent people with many more years experience and many more relevant qualifications still struggle to agree in what makes a healthy relationship. You said in your piece that for most of your teens, you were single ... but you're only 20 now. So even with two or three years worth of relationships (and it sounds, from your other posts, that you tend not to lean towards long-term relationships), your guide does seem a little precocious.
I'd be interested in what you think about what you have written in that guide in, say, five or ten years time when you have lived a bit more. You're definitely a smart, eloquent guy but I think, looking back, you may be slightly embarrassed.
Check the date. I wrote that two years ago, so those two or three years would be multiplied then.
I hope so. Best way of knowing you've come a long way in life is by looking back and being able to say "God, what the fuck was I thinking?"
Firstly it isn't very helpful to refer to your friends by their real names when none of us know them. Secondly, again since we don't know these people, why should your telling us they believe in your views make us any more likely to trust you?
Have you considered that perhaps your wisdom is useful to you and your social group, but not to the rest of the world? So far there hasn't been much approval from anyone else, so maybe you're barking up the wrong tree here.
I'm aware that everything I say to many of you is demonized. Does that mean that no one can reap knowledge from it? No, and I'm not letting a dipshit majority influence what I post.
If you don't like what I have to say, how hard is it to ignore it? Oh, but I should decide not to post my thoughts because some of you have tourettes of the keyboard?
Their names have been said numerous times already, so I'm not wasting keystrokes typing "Clan Mother Red" when I can just write "Jessi". Honestly, the level of nitpickery here is astounding.
Have you considered that maybe I've actually put these methods through trials with many people from different parts of the world and it consistently turned out well, so that's why I advocate it? Have you considered the distinct possibility that I don't care if 99% of the people here think it's "bollocks" and find it worthwhile to post it if even one person's life is improved by a fraction of a percent?
Honestly, these are all things I've went into greater detail explaining much earlier in this thread. As soon as one of you has no further points to make, another one of you steps in and starts making the same exact points that I just went into a thorough breakdown of a page earlier. I don't understand what the majority of you gain by repeating yourselves like a broken 8-track.
I presumed that when you posted that link, that you considered it 'relevant' as far as your age was concerned (single for the 'most part' of your teens and you being 20 now), and where you are 'at' now, so I must confess that I didn't notice the date. Apologies. But it then begs the question, have you leant nothing more about relationships since then? Is this really where you are still at? I'm not criticising because everyone develops at different rates - but I am a little surprised. The jump from 18 to 20 is huge, as is the jump from 16 to 18. We develop so quickly at these ages that in many ways, the person I am now is not the same as it was when I was 18.
Anyway, yes, hopefully looking back at that guide will show how you have grown over the years. I've had a look at some of my early posts on this board and it seems like I am reading some stranger's post.
'Sall good. No worries.
It's stacked. I know more, but as I said, this article is not a complete guide. It's a basic guide.
Perhaps if your views were slightly less offensive to readers, and your attitude more accomodating to others, you wouldn't have had a "dipshit majority" disagreeing with you.
Forgive me for not reading through all your posts, but I haven't seen any of their names before. That wasn't nitpickery - just a suggestion.
It doesn't matter to me whether you care or not. Nevertheless, if you post something so divisive on a public forum, you should expect a mixture of responses.
I posted my views for the first time on this thread. My posts have nothing to do with anyone else's posts, so how exactly am I repeating myself?
You say you don't care of people disagree. Then why post it, let's be honest. You Saul you don't care because of the reaction you received.
Apparently not
I am st work and started writing my post before you replied. Just took me 10min due to work, go ahead and kill it.
Once again, I don't sugar coat to spare the hypersensitivity of others. I have the utmost confidence that my perceived abrasiveness will not cause them to seek out therapy.
Fair dues. My apologies for any snappishness.
I do expect a mixture of responses. Though, this is the first forum that's gotten majority negative responses.
Your'e repeating things that have already been said and acknowledged. I understand you didn't read the whole thread, but if 5 people all post without reading the thread, imagine having to respond to all 5 of those people with the same thing all 5 times. Ya feel me?
This is what I mean about not paying attention:
"Oh, no. That can't be. The Chief is such a horrible person! His motivations could not have been pure! He's a sexist jerk and blah dee blah dee blah dee blaaaaaaah!"
If someone asks a question or raises an objection to something you say, do you ignore them? (Rhetorical question because I happen to know that you're quite fond of ignoring valid points.) Of course not. A normal (read: normal) person is going to defend their views. That's very basic human psychology.
"But oh no! I can't actually refute what he's saying, so instead I'll find convenient ways of shutting him up like labeling his theory 'dangerous' so it gets deleted!"
This mentality of 'this is our forum and if we don't agree with something, it can't exist' is very childish. I have the utmost confidence that you will get over the fact that someone has views that don't coincide with your own on the internet.
By all means though, keep going. I'm quite enjoying the Circus display of people synchronistically putting their feet in their own mouths.
:yes:
There's no agenda here.
If you'd been round long enough you'd see that people here rarely agree.
I have this skill, which I picked up at work, of wading through the waffle and getting to the useful part. (Part of my job involves reading Govt documents. Trust me, it's a skill I need!)
In this case, people have differing opinions about the validity and relevance of the article in the OP. Usually based on their own experience of what makes a healthy relationship.
I'm amazed that we've had 12 pages of arguing about that.
All the reasons and rhetoric used as "evidence" is, basically, waffle. This whole argument is about differing opinions and it's pretty boring now. I just wish it didn't keep coming up in my "New Posts" search, would make it easier to ignore.
On both sides of the argument.
I'd say so - there doesn't seem to be much more than circular insulting going on now... bar a couple of posts.
If this is the first forum that has given a majority of negative responses then it may well be a chance to consider the culture of the forum and what kinds of articles may or may not be relevant to post in the future. Also, if writing is a serious pursuit for you then it's good to be lapping up as much criticism as you can get to work out who your audience actually is.
Finally, on the insulting front, more creativity and less negativity all round methinks. :thumb: