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Ripplemagne's Guide To A Healthy Relationship
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I HATE that! As for the whole of your post, I kinda agree. I've met a lot of guys who are fine as friends, but my only dating experience was with a guy who basically did exactly what you described. Needless to say, it got old and I ended up losing interest. I don't meet very many guys who seem much different than that, as much as I'd like them to be.
... the difference being??
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees
http://www.bygpub.com/books/tg2rw/chap11excerpt.htm
http://peoplerelationships.syl.com/battleofsexes/differences
http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/systems/nervous-system/men-women-different-brains.htm
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/23756519/ns/today-books/
http://www.enotalone.com/article/4892.html
http://www.livescience.com/health/060419_brain_wiring.html
http://www.meaningfullife.com/social/womenANDmen/Women_AND_Men_-_Different_but_EqualQUESTION.php
http://www.pbs.org/thinktank/transcript216.html
http://www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/DifferencesMenWomen.htm
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/01/050121100142.htm
http://www.metafilter.com/38832/White-Matter-and-Gray-Matter-a-Matter-of-the-Sexes
http://www.springerlink.com/content/q32317p68655h037/
http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=pdh&AN=psp-81-2-322&site=ehost-live
http://www.psy.ed.ac.uk/people/iand/Strand%20%282006%29%20BR%20J%20Educ%20Psychol%20sex%20differences%20in%20intelligence%20uk%20national%20picture.pdf
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/tips/women-better-than-men-things
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2317882/ten_things_men_do_better_than_women.html?cat=7
http://www.crashstuff.com/men-versus-women-drivers-car-accidents-statistics/
http://www.laddertheory.com/
http://www.abc24.com/auto/story/Female-Scientist-Confirms-Men-Are-Better-At/kykiG4-K8kOHEqT_tkTXdg.cspx
http://www.narth.com/docs/york.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article429547.ece
http://www.mastersofhealthcare.com/blog/2009/10-big-differences-between-mens-and-womens-brains/
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/09/business/09scene.html
http://www.cerebromente.org.br/n11/mente/eisntein/cerebro-homens.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_studies
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_of_gender%E2%80%93specific_human_behavior
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3347701/Genes-could-explain-memory-differences-between-men-and-women.html
http://socyberty.com/psychology/20-statistical-differences-between-men-and-women/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3002946.stm
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh26-4/264-273.htm
http://www.cbmw.org/Resources/Articles/Communication-between-Men-and-Women
http://scienceblogs.com/oscillator/2010/05/sex_gender_and_evolution.php
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/01/18/men-more-evolved-than-women/
http://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Difference_between_male_and_female_structures__mental_and_physical__a613.html
http://blisstree.com/feel/5-physical-differences-between-women-and-men/?utm_source=blisstree&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=b5hubs_migration
Oh, hey. I guess it's not just me that thinks so.
Cumbria is much further away :yes:
At what point did I assert that men and women are the same? Now you are attributing and refuting opinions which are not mine. How silly of you.
No, what I am arguing is that men and women do not univerisally exhibit (with a few exceptions) the traits you claim them to possess, not that they are the same.
And as I mentioned before it is remarkably easy to find "scienfitic" psychology studies "confirming" varying beliefs. This is because the nature of evidence involved in these studies is often malleable, not to mention how easy it is to tamper with statistics to make them show what you want. This is why I brought up the question of methodology.
As a side note, most of the links you have there are not in fact based on empirical evidence but are the opinions of the authors or pop psychology.
:x
:x
Somehow, I doubt you read them all. There's a wide range of material there from a multitude of sources.
And yes, it's easy to find sources that say that women =/= men because it's obvious.
"It is, also, because of this that a woman may cling to a man when he wants his space, leading to a rift."
Yes, the point I am making is that men and women do not univerisally possess the traits that you claim they do.
Men and women, however, generally cling for different reasons. Men tend to cling when they are overnurtured or undernutured. Women tend to cling when they are overprotected or underprotected. For example, consider the honeymoon phase of most relationships.
The phase where you're talking to each other every moment of every day. In that instance, she can become too used to having the guy's undivided attention and when she doesn't have it, she can grow clingy. It's for this reason that a push-and-pull is necessary to a relationship. In PUA, they call it the "Catstring Theory".
If that's the point you're making, then you shouldn't have made it because I said that every early in this thread and many times after. I even said so in the article.
Are we done yet?
y/n?
These are, as you say, just theories and not facts as you present them to be. In any case, what I mainly disagree with is women as "passive" and I'm not too happy with men being "mundane" either. And frankly, if a man was insisting on being my "protector" I'd be tempted to headbutt him in the face, however I can't speak for all women in this regard.
If you must continually make allowances for a certain unknown number of women who do not or may not fit your description then why bother making a univerisal guide such as this at all? Doesn't this "different individual circumstances" caper make such a univerisal guide based on specific descriptions of men and women inapplicable and therefore completely useless? If, as I highly suspect is the case, this "unknown number" I have referred to is much much larger than you believe, then I'm afraid the answer is yes.
You'd be quite surprised about that one. Hint: This isn't the first time I've had a discussion about this subject.
Okay? That's personal incredulity though and doesn't exactly mean that my guide is not fact. Especially when the very ending of my guide was:
Now, if you don't admit that women are generally more passive than men and men are generally more aggressive, then I don't know what to tell you. If you actually read through the links I had posted, you'd see that they support my assertion, but if you still disagree -- then that's cool. Disagree. But to come in here like gangbusters and sputter about how I shouldn't post my opinion, when the entire premise of your argument is that your opinion isn't the same is silly.
If you want to disagree with me, you can do it without that "I'll show him!" mentality.
No. You can't generally and universally anything. The two words mean different things.
It's not a universal guide. It's a basic guide as it says in the guide to structure young men, whom I stated earlier, who had asked me to give them a general basis to go on.
I'm sure PUAs bed many times more women than I ever will, for no other reason than that's what they want to do with their life. But I'm still struggling to understand what relevance that has to, well, anything. PUAs generally work on the principle that you keep asking until someone says yes; the law of averages doesn't prove jack shit.
The real question is how many PUAs are happily settled down and married with the girl of their dreams, and whether they met their partner using PUA "techniques". The early New York PUAs who are happily married didn't succeed using PUA "techniques", or at least that's what they said in a recent interview in the Guardian. The woman they married told them to fuck off when they tried their PUA stuff on them- that was what made them attractive marriage material, rather than just another notch on a bedpost.
If you want to argue that PUA "techniques" are successful in getting women to have sex with you, then fine, go right ahead. If you ask enough people, and you're not that choosy, you can get as much meaningless sex as you could shake a shitty stick at. But your blog post wasn't about sex, it was about a "healthy relationship". And the simple fact is that PUA game-playing won't keep a long-term relationship healthy, because the game-playing doesn't treat the woman as an equal.
If you love your partner and you treat them with respect, and they reciprocate, then you will have a long, happy and healthy relationship. If you don't or they don't then you won't have one. It really is that fucking simple.
As for me being "that type of person", presumably that was a pathetic attempt to bait me. That makes you look like the sad wee fucker that you are- if you were such a skilled PUA you'd be out shagging instead of hanging around a message board for young adults with your cabal of inbred online acquaintances. I'm here because I have a young family to look after and that tends to impact on one's social life, what's your reason, loverboy?
Your guide is based on theories which are unproved speculations which means its not fact.
I never said men weren't aggressive, merely that women are not passive.
But that probably makes me a zeta male *shrug*
Because I'm sure your average would be oh-so high.
Also, who ever said that I'm a Pick Up Artist, smartie? Whoever said that, if I were a PUA, my goal would be to close with sex? And even if I were, that means that I have to be out on the scene every day of my life? Hint: I've only been on these forums for a few days. Days where I'm enjoying my vacation in solitude.
The fact that you're married doesn't prove jack shit. For all anyone knows, she's blowing the postman while you're at work and your kids are setting fire to the neighbor's lawn. Anyone can get married, so your argument from "authority" is a pathetic attempt to shield your own ignorance. In fact, your statement about playing averages affirms that, simply because you may've gotten some broad with low standards (ie: the one that if I were to approach in my attempt to play averages, would wear her thighs as earmuffs inside a day.) Meanwhile, the PUA playing the field gets a broader range to choose from and doesn't have to settle with what lands in their lap.
I find it hilarious though. For such a mature, grown up man, you're actually sitting here escalating heated fisticuffs with someone much younger than you, when you could just be saying "Hey, I disagree, so lets talk this out." No, you opened up this conversation with:
If I recall correctly, I even said earlier on that I meant no disrespect to you, but you kept escalating it rather than being the mature parental figure with the white picket fence you're painting yourself as.
Who's baiting who? Oh, okay.
I assume by the "original New York pick up artists", you're referring to Neil Strauss. You do realize that there are hundreds of different schools of PUA, right? There is more than one different type of "technique" and, ignoring your gross reiteration of his current romance, just because they don't think he used the basic psychology of women to get her doesn't mean that he didn't because... hey, he still got her, didn't he?
Rest of your post is "you're wrong because you're wrong". Not that I expect much else from you, Mr. Married-With-Children.
Now that the shitstorm has swept, do you want to try this more civilly or would you like to escalate it even further?
If men are more aggressive, by proxy, women are more passive...
Again, "you're wrong because you're wrong."
More passive than men. If men are more aggressive than women, it follows that women are more passive than men (in general).
Also, let me say that he's not just blowing air out of his ass. Whatever it is that he does when he meets a girl he thinks is interesting, it works just about every time. I'll bring up one girl in particular who we're both friends with. Upon meeting him, she was like, "Psh, you're nothing special, I'd never fall for you, you couldn't handle me," etc. Within about a day of talking with him one-on-one she was entirely smitten and positively reeling that he'd managed to do that to her.
This happens on a regular basis. He's about neck-deep in "wimmenz" at any given time. It's almost like he doesn't even try, they just gravitate to him. It's kinda scary.
it's simply about how man and woman together make a perfect whole. man is incomplete without woman and vice-versa (not counting homosexual realtionship here). of course, OBVIOUSLY, not every realtionship is exactly like the one described in article, but I'm sure many people find themselves in it.
I for one definitely do.
I understand article perfectly and that's exactly what works for me.
Having that role in relationship I don't feel any weaker than a guy. I'm doing my part to make relationship work and he's doing his part. No role is "less important" here.
Oh and btw, for people that said he's only trying to get in girl's pants or whatever - I personally happen to know that's not the case. Actually it's far from that.
Apparently the only people who agree with this guide are Chief Jay's own buddies.
How can you really know what a serious healthy relationship is. To know that you need to experience the troubles of a relationship, when you've experienced the word troubles of a relationship, which I doubt you have. Maybe then you'll know something about healthy relationships
Clearly, you have a lot to learn.. that much is evident
And dozens of people who read it on other forums (strangers included) and even many people who hate my guts. Every now and then, you get a contrarian who doesn't know why they disagree, but they know they disagree who goes on a tangent, but then when I explain it to them, they settle down. If they're reasonable and aren't just determined to prove that I'm wrong just... because, anyway.
Assumptions, assumptions. But yes, clearly, I have a lot to learn. Hahahahaha.