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Bipolar disorder
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've duplicated the content via the NHS Choices Web site; specifying the symptoms I believe that I'm experiencing of which I've omitted certain aspects; I've a previous diagnoses of another problem as it is but I think that my CPN is ignoring me.
Bipolar disorder is characterized by mood swings. The mood swings can range from extreme happiness (mania) to extreme sadness (depression). Episodes of mania and depression can often last for several weeks or more.
Depression
During a period of depression (low phase) your symptoms may include:
* feeling sad and hopeless,
* lacking in energy,
* difficulty concentrating and remembering things,
* a loss of interest in everyday activities,
* feelings of emptiness or worthlessness,
* feelings of guilt and despair,
* feeling pessimistic about everything,
* self-doubt,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* lack of appetite,
* difficulty sleeping and waking up early, and
* suicidal thoughts.
Mania
The manic (high) phase of bipolar disorder usually follows 2-4 periods of depression and may include:
* talking very quickly,
* feeling full of energy,
* feeling full of self-importance,
* feeling full of ‘great’ new ideas and having ‘important’ plans,
* being easily distracted,
* being easily irritated, or agitated,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* not feeling like sleeping,
* not eating, and
* doing pleasurable things which often have disastrous consequences, such as spending large sums of money on expensive and, sometimes, unaffordable, items.
Bipolar disorder is characterized by mood swings. The mood swings can range from extreme happiness (mania) to extreme sadness (depression). Episodes of mania and depression can often last for several weeks or more.
Depression
During a period of depression (low phase) your symptoms may include:
* feeling sad and hopeless,
* lacking in energy,
* difficulty concentrating and remembering things,
* a loss of interest in everyday activities,
* feelings of emptiness or worthlessness,
* feelings of guilt and despair,
* feeling pessimistic about everything,
* self-doubt,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* lack of appetite,
* difficulty sleeping and waking up early, and
* suicidal thoughts.
Mania
The manic (high) phase of bipolar disorder usually follows 2-4 periods of depression and may include:
* talking very quickly,
* feeling full of energy,
* feeling full of self-importance,
* feeling full of ‘great’ new ideas and having ‘important’ plans,
* being easily distracted,
* being easily irritated, or agitated,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* not feeling like sleeping,
* not eating, and
* doing pleasurable things which often have disastrous consequences, such as spending large sums of money on expensive and, sometimes, unaffordable, items.
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Comments
Sometimes I don't acknowledge that certain days exist or that I'm living in them but I'm not concerned about it; it's futile and irritating and I hate it. Or the longing to write about something on a piece of paper but the psychological and psychical pressure in my head is awful and it gives me urges to shout but I can't and I can't do it and it makes me angry and I can't do something about it.
I have thoughts that are quick and continuous; but I can't maintain anything of concentration or control about it; I can't think about anything and I'm disinterested.
But sometimes I think that I'm people that I'm not; or would like to make stories that I know aren't truth and lie to people because people have lied to me; everybody lies to me.
I make alter-egos for myself and I lie about myself because I like it; because I'm able to be someone I'm not; because I can make me something I'm not; people I'm not; jobs I'm not; because I don't know myself; because I don't recognize myself because I'm beginning to damage my body; my mind.
My thoughts distort my thinking and my thinking distorts my thoughts; because I can detach myself from realities; because I hate realities; I hate truth; I hate it.
Or about an urge to laugh and not being able to; but being able to hear me laughing in my psyche; of my chest bracing itself; tightening just in case I laugh; but I can't. Or of talking to people; or talking aloud but of no-one else being next to me to talk to.
I can't stop myself from thinking about committing suicide but no-one is going to believe me if I tell them about it. Whoever says that they're concerned about my wellbeing is lying to me. Because I'm not concerned about labels. Labels are artificial and it doesn't make anything of logic to me because it's inane and frustrating and irritating. Labels are artificial. Life is artificial.
Woe betide me. Or something. I poured my cup of coffee into my glass of orange juice just now; it tastes vile - as if Diet Pepsi - and has an appearance similar to that of hot chocolate. Why?
:crying:
if you feel safe in a and e then i think it's a good idea going. let us know how you are when you get back and take care x
I've spoken to you before about this so you know my opinion. I think that you should speak to someone, a professional, and make sure you have friends around to support you.
It was once suggested to me, by a doctor, I had manic depression and I didn't think anything of it. But I wish I had gotten the help then.
Xx
Futile. Futile. Futile.
Both myself and Niamh are in a similar situation; but neither of us is going to ask someone to help us; despite us asking each other to seek help from NHS Direct or the like; but I've decided to talk to NHS Direct.
(Niamh is me btw... just for those who don't know)
Xx
That's great man. Don't forget there's a whole community of people here willing to support you looking for help, with many people who've been through similar things.
Hopefully if you can look for help from the services out there to make things easier then other people will find it easier to do the same themselves.
I'm really glad you've chosen to ring them. I know it's a big step. Let us know how you get on
No; I'm alright although I didn't contact NHS Direct as I'd said I'd do. In fact aside from being nauseas; an urge to vomit and almost being bereft of consciousness last night; I'm alright.
Edit: OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. I'm going to talk to NHS Direct just now.
How are you at the moment? Did you manage to speak to someone at NHS Direct?
:crying:
Edit: Would it be an understatement if I wrote that I think that this week has had a disturbing and otherwise unusual amount of Threads describing other people's self-harm; suicidal thoughts/intentions, parasuicide etc. What is it about this week in particular?
:crying:
:crying:
Why?
:crying: