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Bipolar disorder

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've duplicated the content via the NHS Choices Web site; specifying the symptoms I believe that I'm experiencing of which I've omitted certain aspects; I've a previous diagnoses of another problem as it is but I think that my CPN is ignoring me.

Bipolar disorder is characterized by mood swings. The mood swings can range from extreme happiness (mania) to extreme sadness (depression). Episodes of mania and depression can often last for several weeks or more.


Depression

During a period of depression (low phase) your symptoms may include:

* feeling sad and hopeless,
* lacking in energy,
* difficulty concentrating and remembering things,
* a loss of interest in everyday activities,
* feelings of emptiness or worthlessness,
* feelings of guilt and despair,
* feeling pessimistic about everything,
* self-doubt,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* lack of appetite,
* difficulty sleeping and waking up early, and
* suicidal thoughts.

Mania

The manic (high) phase of bipolar disorder usually follows 2-4 periods of depression and may include:

* talking very quickly,
* feeling full of energy,
* feeling full of self-importance,
* feeling full of ‘great’ new ideas and having ‘important’ plans,
* being easily distracted,
* being easily irritated, or agitated,
* being delusional, having hallucinations, and disturbed, or illogical thinking,
* not feeling like sleeping,
* not eating, and
* doing pleasurable things which often have disastrous consequences, such as spending large sums of money on expensive and, sometimes, unaffordable, items.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it's a good idea to self diagnose from the internet because it's to oeasy to have everything. I could tick every single one of the sympotms posted...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've begun to realize that sometimes I begin to hear voices; or noises but it's perpetual and has happened since last year; sometimes I begin to get hyperactive afterwards; sometimes I begin to get hyperactive and become depressed; loathsome and suicidal within 24 hours; sometimes it isn't often I experience it but sometimes I think about doing sometimes spontaneous; or doing sometimes risque.

    Sometimes I don't acknowledge that certain days exist or that I'm living in them but I'm not concerned about it; it's futile and irritating and I hate it. Or the longing to write about something on a piece of paper but the psychological and psychical pressure in my head is awful and it gives me urges to shout but I can't and I can't do it and it makes me angry and I can't do something about it.

    I have thoughts that are quick and continuous; but I can't maintain anything of concentration or control about it; I can't think about anything and I'm disinterested.

    But sometimes I think that I'm people that I'm not; or would like to make stories that I know aren't truth and lie to people because people have lied to me; everybody lies to me.

    I make alter-egos for myself and I lie about myself because I like it; because I'm able to be someone I'm not; because I can make me something I'm not; people I'm not; jobs I'm not; because I don't know myself; because I don't recognize myself because I'm beginning to damage my body; my mind.

    My thoughts distort my thinking and my thinking distorts my thoughts; because I can detach myself from realities; because I hate realities; I hate truth; I hate it.

    Or about an urge to laugh and not being able to; but being able to hear me laughing in my psyche; of my chest bracing itself; tightening just in case I laugh; but I can't. Or of talking to people; or talking aloud but of no-one else being next to me to talk to.

    I can't stop myself from thinking about committing suicide but no-one is going to believe me if I tell them about it. Whoever says that they're concerned about my wellbeing is lying to me. Because I'm not concerned about labels. Labels are artificial and it doesn't make anything of logic to me because it's inane and frustrating and irritating. Labels are artificial. Life is artificial.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speak to your doctor about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Today I've slept for only 4 hours; I'm exhausted just now and my body's begun to shake. I felt awful last night; and I'm frightened to talk to my GP because I'm certain that I'm going to be told that I'm lying or something similar to it.

    Woe betide me. Or something. I poured my cup of coffee into my glass of orange juice just now; it tastes vile - as if Diet Pepsi - and has an appearance similar to that of hot chocolate. Why?

    :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm going to go to an A&E department just now; I'm going to be OK.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ahl, i didnt realise you felt so low :(

    if you feel safe in a and e then i think it's a good idea going. let us know how you are when you get back and take care x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyy love,
    I've spoken to you before about this so you know my opinion. I think that you should speak to someone, a professional, and make sure you have friends around to support you.
    It was once suggested to me, by a doctor, I had manic depression and I didn't think anything of it. But I wish I had gotten the help then.
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that you should speak to someone, a professional, and make sure you have friends around to support you.

    Futile. Futile. Futile.

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What happened at A&E?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I decided against going to it despite pleas from other people to go to it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?t=140346

    Both myself and Niamh are in a similar situation; but neither of us is going to ask someone to help us; despite us asking each other to seek help from NHS Direct or the like; but I've decided to talk to NHS Direct.

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you AHL :) I am so glad you are going to get help, that has made my day.
    (Niamh is me btw... just for those who don't know)
    Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AHL wrote: »
    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?t=140346

    Both myself and Niamh are in a similar situation; but neither of us is going to ask someone to help us; despite us asking each other to seek help from NHS Direct or the like; but I've decided to talk to NHS Direct.

    :(

    That's great man. Don't forget there's a whole community of people here willing to support you looking for help, with many people who've been through similar things.

    Hopefully if you can look for help from the services out there to make things easier then other people will find it easier to do the same themselves.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AHL wrote: »
    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?t=140346

    Both myself and Niamh are in a similar situation; but neither of us is going to ask someone to help us; despite us asking each other to seek help from NHS Direct or the like; but I've decided to talk to NHS Direct.

    :(

    I'm really glad you've chosen to ring them. I know it's a big step. Let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm OK.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    has something happened ahl?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    has something happened ahl?

    No; I'm alright although I didn't contact NHS Direct as I'd said I'd do. In fact aside from being nauseas; an urge to vomit and almost being bereft of consciousness last night; I'm alright.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What damage could I be doing to my kidneys and/or my liver just now? I've done it on numerous other occasions but I haven't come to harm from it; and aside from nausea; an urge to vomit etc. I think that I'm OK.

    Edit: OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. OK. I'm going to talk to NHS Direct just now.

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi AHL,

    How are you at the moment? Did you manage to speak to someone at NHS Direct? :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. I just decided it'd be a good idea if I slept instead.

    :crying:

    Edit: Would it be an understatement if I wrote that I think that this week has had a disturbing and otherwise unusual amount of Threads describing other people's self-harm; suicidal thoughts/intentions, parasuicide etc. What is it about this week in particular?

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What would I do without TheSite.org Community? I heart you.

    :heart::love::)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who's frightened that someone is going to die? Because I am. I realize that there's a spate of self induced harm just now; and I think it's unusual as it is; but I'm frightened that someone's going to die. It isn't a topic or a subject that I'd otherwise like to discuss but I'm petrified of someone committing suicide.

    :crying: :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    me too :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whilst i can see how you may feel like that i think it should be seen as a positive thing in itself that people are posting about how they feel rather than bottling it up. also, you cant control what other people do but i hope the good advice given on here will make those that feel suicidal take the steps to get themselves help. in no way is this intended to sound belittling of people who have posted about wanting to die on here, but when i said things like that to myself it wasn't that i wanted to actually die but it was the most powerful and intense way i could think of as expressing myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Today a friend of mine committed suicide; I was told of it just now. I'm bereft of grief as it is! No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

    :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh no! i hope your alright :( this must be really hard for you and it upsets me just to think what your going through, i hope you are alright :crying: x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jeeeez :( ahl that's awful. sending hugs your way, please keep posting tonight on here if you feel rotten. thinking of you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :( hope your ok. *hugs*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think that I'm able to describe the amount of raw grief; loss of emotion and exhaustion that I'm experiencing just now; it's excruciating.

    Why?

    :crying:
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