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What does a girl REALLY look for in a guy?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am completely serious in this question!

What is that a girl REALLY looks for?

For example, you are a single girl, with your mates on a night out, in a bar or club and a man approaches you to talk to you, to "chat you up", to win you over, to get your number... what does he have to do?

I know all girls are different, and maybe i am just getting paranoid lately as im starting to feel a little "too single" given i have been single for afew months now, but it seems when i am out with my mates, they all seem to have girls falling all over them with out even having to say hello to one, yet if i try to talk to a girl i tend to ALWAYS try to talk to the bitchiest and nastiest of all possible girls who are really full of themselves and think they are too good to even acknowledge me let alone say they are not interested in any polite way. Or before i can say hello their friend drags them off with a "ha, as if!" attitude at me.

So, what is it about girls? What do you girls REALLY want? What matters? Is it purely looks and you wouldnt even look twice or consider a guy who wasnt exactly what you wanted in looks or is it just me being paranoid and losing my confidence of late and thus creating a negative situation about myself?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course looks are important when you first meet someone, I wouldn't be interested if a not so good looking guy approached me in a club. But going deeper than that I like to have someone who can make me laugh, who makes me feel protected, is caring and considerate and has an aim in life to do well. Something like that anyway to keep it short.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "yet if i try to talk to a girl i tend to ALWAYS try to talk to the bitchiest and nastiest of all possible girls who are really full of themselves and think they are too good to even acknowledge me let alone say they are not interested in any polite way."

    When this happens you laugh and move on.

    I've been with quite a few girls i pulled in clubs, the best piece of advice i can give is to say to yourself one day "fuck it, i want to have fun, i dont even care if i get a girl or not" and just throw yourself in at the deep end. If you see a girl you like, walk the fuck up or wait till she brushes past and ask what her name is, say something that starts with "oh my god! .....bla bla" be DRAMATIC, express that fun energy you will feel and i guarantee you will find something AMAZING. Girls will talk back to you and find you interesting.

    If you live by the one rule that you will have fun and not care about rejection, you will discover all kinds of new things you hadn't thought about before, like the right time to approach a girl, strangely enough most men are too DUMB to notice when a girl wants their attention.

    You will get used to it and after a few nights out and talking to like 30 girls a night you will begin to understand what works and what people find interesting about you, you will begin to get a cocky confidence about you and you may even start saying and doing corny but jokey interesting things like kissing her hand when you meet a new girl as a joke. as long as she knows it's a joke, for me, it's never failed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just look for a bloke who seems a bit different, funny, and seems to have a little positivity (or 'good vibes') coming out of him...helps if he seems fairly relaxed, too, because that's more fun to be around...:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe it's because you're in a club. I don't really pay attention to blokes especially if they come upto me in a club. I'm just there to dance and have a laugh. I've noticed this with my friends as well. Not everyone is on the pull I guess. Plus maybe I'm probably off track but I always assumed if a bloke came upto you in a club they only wanted a one nighter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is a delicate thing to do, but when I ask myself 'What does girl .... in men" I try to think it's at least similar with 'What does StrubbleS .... in women." think about it what you look for in a girl and try to transfer it the other way round.


    Yea, looks count. Nobody can deny it. Some are polite and keep converse with that person they are not interested in, some will pretty harshly brush them off, as they are a "waste of their time." Maybe you are not attractive to them, maybe you are boring. There are so many factors that aren't really visible that count. I wish I could deny that, as I hated it when a girl rejected me, not able to give any reasons, but I had to break off with my g/f too, without having any real reasons. From outside it seemed nice and tidy, but it didn't feel right.

    yea, some go for looks, some want to fuck on the first sight, some want you to be a bit snappy, others hate it if you are obtrusive. I know it doesn't help, but if you honestly can't think of anything you are doing wrong while looking at your friends, then you've probably pulled a bunch of foul apples out of the basket.

    You will get used to it and after a few nights out and talking to like 30 girls a night you will begin to understand what works and what people find interesting about you,
    now THAT might be what I am doing wrong :chin: It's about the quantity. Can't say I have high expectations when going out, but I am nowhere near talking 30 girls up, more like 2, if I'm on a roll ;p Hard to find someone suitable with so little tries.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,214 Skive's The Limit
    Out on the pull
    Confidence is key. Be cocky wihtout being arroagnt, cheeky and charming go along way, being 'nice' doesn't.

    As for keeping hold of a girl you best off asking somebody else. :D
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HanHan wrote: »
    Just look for a bloke who seems a bit different

    A bloke? :eek2: im not after blokes Han, i like ladies as you fully well know! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The resident cassanova among our mates has never gone up to a girl he didn't know in his life. He's a fairly good looking bloke, but not so much that you would notice him in a packed club. Girls just come up to him (mainly people he knows, but sometimes strangers). And to be fair, he knows a lot of people, which I think is the key. If you know a lot of people, you get introduced to a lot of friends, which avoids the immediate judgement of talking to a stranger in a club. And in that situation, you don't need to bother putting yourself on the line, or anything like that. If you've got any ability to read people, you'll be able to tell fairly quickly whether a girl's into you. If not, you've just been chatting to a nice girl. No rejection necessary. It's pretty successful for my mate.

    And personally, I'm probably the same. My success rate with strangers is pitiful, but I've pulled plenty of girls who've been introduced to me earlier in the night. Friends of friends and the like. I never go up to a girl who I'm not fairly sure is into me, and that's fairly easy to tell, because people smile at people they like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What a girl looks for in a man in a club is totally different than what she'll look for in a long term partner
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullseye wrote: »
    yet if i try to talk to a girl i tend to ALWAYS try to talk to the bitchiest and nastiest of all possible girls who are really full of themselves and think they are too good to even acknowledge me let alone say they are not interested in any polite way. Or before i can say hello their friend drags them off with a "ha, as if!" attitude at me.

    Do you do this on purpose? Or do girls just react that way to you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I normally look for a heart, lungs, liver and a stomach in a guy... But that's only once I've cut past the rib cage. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Do you do this on purpose? Or do girls just react that way to you?

    Do i do what? Try to talk to a girl and get that reaction? Well, yes, according to my female mates they say im attracted to the nasty type of girls who are rude, but they cant give me a reason why im attracted to them, i personally dont think i am, though i do always seem to try to chat to that type of girl, Well that type of the ones who have friends who are like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Diy

    I read something recently that said being good at DIY was the most highly rated male trait by women, more highly rated than sense of humour.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's no point in acting like anything.

    As far as going up to complete strangers in pubs/clubs goes, I reckon it doesn't happen as much as you think other than in adverts for shit lager. By nature, it's the ones who are confident and self assured that go and chat up total strangers.

    Using myself as an example, I'm usually pretty shy around people at first. If I forced myself to go up to some girl at a bar then she'd be able to tell that I was nervous and shy and this was all an act in a vain effort to get my skinny little ass into bed with her. Even if I got my leg over that night, my whole facade would soon collapse - in other words don't try and be something you're not because any girl can smell it a mile away.

    IWS hit the nail on the head when he says it's to do with knowing people - if you get introduced to people through friends then it's the best ice breaker of them all.

    Another tip is to treat a club full of people as if you know them all. For example, if you go to the bar then say to whoever you're standing next to "It's fecking roasting/freezing in here!" or "I can't get that fecking Rhianna tune out of my head now!". Something as inane as that, they'll respond with something if they feel the need and you can take the convo from there. It doesn't even matter if it's a bloke, it gets you into the habit of chatting away to people and who knows where that leads?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you are right of course. I mean, when it comes to pulling strangers, it is a confidence thing, once you get knocked back once, it damages my confidence even more and so on. Need to have a success to get it back up really.

    As for relationships, again, i think you are all right, generally its being introduced to someone by a mutual friend that leads to things happening rather then seeing each other with out any introductions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Things is, if you get rejected 20 times, when you finally get it right, those 20 times really dont matter and the next time you do it all over again you kind of laugh when you get rejected because it doesnt bother you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullseye wrote: »
    I am completely serious in this question!

    What is that a girl REALLY looks for?

    For example, you are a single girl, with your mates on a night out, in a bar or club and a man approaches you to talk to you, to "chat you up", to win you over, to get your number... what does he have to do?

    I know all girls are different, and maybe i am just getting paranoid lately as im starting to feel a little "too single" given i have been single for afew months now, but it seems when i am out with my mates, they all seem to have girls falling all over them with out even having to say hello to one, yet if i try to talk to a girl i tend to ALWAYS try to talk to the bitchiest and nastiest of all possible girls who are really full of themselves and think they are too good to even acknowledge me let alone say they are not interested in any polite way. Or before i can say hello their friend drags them off with a "ha, as if!" attitude at me.

    So, what is it about girls? What do you girls REALLY want? What matters? Is it purely looks and you wouldnt even look twice or consider a guy who wasnt exactly what you wanted in looks or is it just me being paranoid and losing my confidence of late and thus creating a negative situation about myself?

    I don't mean to sound cliche but to me it's more about personality .. I've been out with some really good-looking boys before, one in particular but once I got to know him he was so up himself, took more time on choosing outfits than me and had no sense of humour so that didn't last long.

    I look for someone whose got a good sense of humour, easy to talk to but there does need to be some sort of physical attraction.

    Don't loose hope just be yourself and be friendly, talk to girls you wouldn't usually talk to you might be suprised and just have fun.

    But if you're talking about what girls are interested in when they are out I can't speak for all girls but for me and my friends it's usually just fun or to get a drink.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm Male and i dont really go to clubs to pull, one night stands have never really interested me tbh, i dont think i'd ever approach a stranger in a club with the intent of pulling her, if we got chatting through a mutual aquaintance or something and i like her i might try to get her number by the end of the night,

    i think my approach is too low key though, because i'm quite shy and not the most confident of guys i dont appear to be interested perhaps, another downfall of mine is my lack of self confidence refuses to allow me to believe that a girl might like me i always put it down to being friendly,

    if i had a tip it would be eye contact, nothing sparks someones interest more than wondering if someone fancies them, and being fancied by someone can make them more attractive to you, so rather than going straight up to a girl catch her eye first hold her gaze for about 4 seconds or so, (i believe the average glance lasts for about 2 seconds so longer lets them know your not just glancing around, spend too long and you'll be staring which is creepy and unnattractive) then look away then look back, make sure shes seen this (dont make it seem like your counting) then give it a little while,

    when you think someone is looking at you it makes you want to look at them especially if your interested or find them attractive, if the girl continues to hold your gaze try a smile, if you get a smile back the light is green and your probably not gonna get a rude knockback.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lacrymosa wrote: »
    Urgh. My last ex was like that. He was reallllllyy good looking and really tall but omg, he was so fucking vain. He'd make us late for everything, spend about an hour in front of the mirror doing his hair with MY straighteners and then then when we were out, every chance he got, he'd check himself out in the mirror or in a reflection of a window. When I ended things he went to me "why have you dumped me? I'm well good looking". That said it all really :rolleyes: He really did love himself.
    What a prat!
    I like a man who takes care with his appearance but not like that urgh!
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