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How do you get over shit in the past?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all,
In the past, I've had quite a few bad experiences. I'm sure nearly everyone has - being mugged, assaulted, raped in some cases. In my life largely there's been some injustice - I've been conned, swindled, lost thousands of pounds somewhat due to my own naivety (eg doing work for people without a contract / up-front payment and never getting paid).
I have learnt the lessons from my past bad experiences, and now want to move on and just look into the future, hoping never to have any shit like that again. However, these things are bugging me, constantly on my mind every day. Some of the things are fairly trivial but the whole principle/injustice of it really gets to me, that I got cheated, and I don't know how to just let it go. Friends/family just brush it off saying to let it go, move on. I don't know how to.
So I'm asking you, any bad experiences you may have had in the past, how do you live your lives today without previous bad things occupying your mind / avoiding negative thoughts about the past?
Cheers :thumb:
x
In the past, I've had quite a few bad experiences. I'm sure nearly everyone has - being mugged, assaulted, raped in some cases. In my life largely there's been some injustice - I've been conned, swindled, lost thousands of pounds somewhat due to my own naivety (eg doing work for people without a contract / up-front payment and never getting paid).
I have learnt the lessons from my past bad experiences, and now want to move on and just look into the future, hoping never to have any shit like that again. However, these things are bugging me, constantly on my mind every day. Some of the things are fairly trivial but the whole principle/injustice of it really gets to me, that I got cheated, and I don't know how to just let it go. Friends/family just brush it off saying to let it go, move on. I don't know how to.
So I'm asking you, any bad experiences you may have had in the past, how do you live your lives today without previous bad things occupying your mind / avoiding negative thoughts about the past?
Cheers :thumb:
x
0
Comments
I have had a lot of bad experiences too. They don't bother me because rightly or wrongly I develop ammnesia and can't remember much. People process things in different ways. Some like to talk about things, it might help to think of it as a story maybe write it down then have a ritual burial, you could put it in a bottle and throw it into the sea for instance. Every morning I think of it as the first day of my life, it is hard to put the past traumas behind you but I think it is much harder not to.
You have come to terms that bad things happen, to everyone. You can't make them undone. They will always be there, but some people learn to accept them, live with them, process them.
I guess there isn't much of a instruction manual to follow through. It's all about realizing it's done, not to be changed and accepting that it's part of your life.
You might be one of these people. Stoping thinking about yourself so much helps. Starting to think more about others is an even bigger help.
If you doo nowt ...nowt will change. So change something.
I agrreee wit you ...but only wat is to change ...something. no change something no change will jappen
it works for me for the most part until i'm feeling down then i remember again
if you figure out how to let go completely let me know
Look forward to better times.
For example, if a man nearly died and was dwelling on it he would be unhappy but if he changed the situation in his mind and thought of it as "I nearly died but hey look I'm still alive"
Trust me, this will work.
ETA: this is the easiest way to make negative thoughts easy to handle
What I've tried to do since yesterday, and seems to be working, is to think that the experiences were entirely my fault (even though they weren't), that way I don't have any hatred/anger/upset at other people, and don't so badly desire revenge.
x
In any situation, no one person is responsible it's about realising how you were responsible for what happens may it even be only standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Whatever helps you, but this all depends on what your problem is. If it's serious I wouldn't let me blame myself, and neither should you. Take the situation and think what the worst is that could happen, then see if you can find out how to stop it annoying you.
Bob Dylan.
but then again my experances have been extreme. and somethings you do build up a thick skin against, and others you have to just sigh at an walk away....
hope that helps
There's a lot of truth in that, being self-obsessed and analysing yourself all the time can't make for a happy existence surely?
I'm not really one to talk because anything I've been through always pales into insignificance compared to some of the stuff other people have been through.
Can't change the past but you can really change the future, as long as I've got my friends and family then I'll always get by.
x
you basically sit there and talk about how things make you feel, and why they made you feel like that, you establish whats healthy and whats not, you find ways to cope, and stratagies to use in crisis. thats psycotherapy, and i've found it invaluable. i've gone from someone that was classified as having clinical depression to having PTSD and panic disorder which on the whole is manageable. But thats taken four years, and some dedicated friends and therapists.
:chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin: :chin:
Bob Dylan.
This works :thumb: