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Does it exist?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote: »
    And pining doesn't always have to be 'oh god, we are apart, how will I ever survive?'. It can just be the quiet, nagging feeling that while you are having a good time doing what you're doing, it'd be a whole lot better if they were there too.

    :yes:
    feel like that but havent eve told him I think I do love him....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I definately thinks it exists, it's the feeling I have with my other half.

    When I look it him I feel like I could burst because I'm so in love with him and he's just wonderful. I can't imagine anyone else possibly feeling the way we do about eachother (although I'm sure you all do)
    I feel all mushy inside just reading that! You're dead lucky - keep hold of that one!! :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a big fan of romantic movies like Romeo n Juliet, Shakespeare in Love and all other typically female type movies and it's got me to thinking. Does 'all encompassing love' exist or is it simply an idea spouted by well paid hollywood script writers?

    I've been thinking, and whilst I've never been in a relationship before, when I do have one, I long for a certain type of love - the 'couldn't live without' sort of love. The one where you look at your partner and the world dissapears, or when you hold each other everything's perfect.... and I'm wondering do I have my head in the clouds, or does it happen?

    I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day (where the man has to arrange the whole wedding to his fiancee without any assistance from her or her family) and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?

    What do you think?


    I'm just over a year into my second 'proper' relationship. When he calls me I feel all happy and nice about the fact he has ande I audibly sigh with happiness when I put the phone down, and we live together...

    but... I know from my previous 'proper' relationship that things won't always be like that. As time goes on, if your love continues, you will start to feel differently. Maybe even your love will die, despite it being so fantastic in the first place.

    At the moment I feel 100% better about the guy I am with now than I did about the one I was with before, hell I would even marry him and that's saying something. So... who knows, maybe I will continue to feel like he is the love of my life but then again maybe it's better to be rational about it and say 'love of my life so far'?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it exists but it's never as perfect and straightforward as the movies percieve!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I definately thinks it exists, it's the feeling I have with my other half.

    When I look it him I feel like I could burst because I'm so in love with him and he's just wonderful. I can't imagine anyone else possibly feeling the way we do about eachother (although I'm sure you all do)
    Same ;o. Sorry to disappoint you ;).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    ITS NOT POSSIBLE

    NOW GIVE ME MORE LOVE, MORE LOVE


    ;) :thumb:
    ;D

    :heart:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know. Maybe.

    I think the funniest thing is how your basic romantic film works to a formula, these films usually being American and starring somebody who's not capable of acting in decent films like Kirsten Dunst or Cameron Diaz. Amazingly pretty but quirky girl meets average guy in some random place. Average guy somehow pulls amazingly pretty quirky girl. Couple proceed to have amazing 2 or 3 month relationship where they just can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Something then happens to break up the relationship and girl and guy must suffer a month of being alone and black depression, wandering New York City streets in the rain and generally staring out of windows and stuff with a moody face. Once this time of compulsory hardship inserted to give the film a twist (even know we all know the're gonna end up together) has been endured, guy then makes some 2 bit gesture like buying a bunch of flowers or something else as lame. Girl proceeds to snog him, burst into tears and declare her undying love. Guy and Girl admit it was destiny and that their relationship was always written in the stars. Girl and guy live happily ever after.

    Haha, now excuse my cynicism, but in my experience, when a couple break up, there is usually a pretty good reason for it. In the real world it is then usually fairly unlikely that you get back together because one partner wanted out, and if you do get back together, there is usually quite a big rebuilding job, and things aren't the same as they were for quite a while. In these films people must be easily forgiving, or very desperate, or very easily impressed or something! Believe it or not, I have yet to meet a girl who took me back because she came across some heavenly sign that proved we were supposed to be together forever or because I brought her a big mac and told her I was sorry! I can maybe believe that you can have the whole movie love thing for a bit, but the way people split up and get back together in movies so easily is ridiculous, and defintitely isn't like the real world!
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    I don't know. Maybe.

    I think the funniest thing is how your basic romantic film works to a formula, these films usually being American and starring somebody who's not capable of acting in decent films like Kirsten Dunst or Cameron Diaz.

    Sorry, slightly off topic but I beg to differ about your examples of women who are not capable of acting in decent films!

    Kirsten Dunst - Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, Virgin Suicides, Interview with the Vampire, Mona Lisa Smile...

    Cameron Diaz - Gangs of New York, Vanilla Sky, Being John Malkovich, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, A Life less ordinary...

    Need I go on. :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote: »
    Sorry, slightly off topic but I beg to differ about your examples of women who are not capable of acting in decent films!

    Kirsten Dunst - Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, Virgin Suicides, Interview with the Vampire, Mona Lisa Smile...

    Cameron Diaz - Gangs of New York, Vanilla Sky, Being John Malkovich, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, A Life less ordinary...

    Need I go on. :razz:

    Haha, well yeah, that's open to debate I suppose. I do actually like Kirsten Dunst, she's a real hottie, but I've never been overly impressed with her acting skills...!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kind of. It's not like in films though.

    I think the closest I've come to that all-encompassing love is what I feel now. It's unselfish, I care about the happiness of the other person without thoughts of what I might get out of it myself, I care about his happiness unconditionally. The closest thing to a perfect love for me is when you can accept each other for who you are, flaws and all, and feel loved and secure within the walls of your relationship just the same. When you can co-exist with your problems and accept them, if that makes sense. You know the worst things about them and you're okay with it. If I hadn't seen their bad side and had only seen positives, then I would personally have the horrible feeling that it was all still to come - but that may just be cynicism showing. They should make you feel good about yourself, who you are inside, and support you in the things that are important to you. And vice versa.

    I don't know about being fit to burst with love. Real life kind of gets in the way, and there are days when we barely look at each other properly. But when I do, I feel like I'm glowing, buzzing with happiness and really, really content. I would say love is like hunger, very hard to describe but everyone recognises it when they feel it. Much like with hunger, you sometimes think you're in love when in fact it's just a lack of fluids ;) I guess that would be infatutation, which is what Hollywood films make millions out of. The only difference between the feelings of infatuation and love is that love lasts and infatuation burns out, or gives way to a more stable kind of feeling. Obviously I can only speak for myself here. As Shakespeare wrote, "...love is not love; which alters when it alteration finds..."

    What was the question again?

    Anyway, for me it's not an all-encompassing love. All-encompassing has negative connotations for me, like you can't get anything else done because you're so encumbered with your thoughts and delights in this person. Very nice for characters in a Shakespeare play or other people with lots of time on their hands. After all, the secret to success in relationships for me has always been independent lives and outside interests. It's funny thinking back on the feelings I had when I first met ex-boyfriends, all that fluttering about and worry and rushing feelings of lust and passion. It wasn't like that this time. I just knew and it wasn't passion or chemistry, I just knew. It was a very calm casual feeling. Eighteen months later we got married, after already having become parents. It all moved incredibly fast but it doesn't seem like a whirlwind when I look back on it, it all seemed very measured and natural to us. He told me that after we went away on a little holiday (which was intended just to be for filth and fun and leave it at that) he just figured "this is it" and never even thought about a future without me - it just seemed right to both of us! We were comfortable right away.

    Even with all the problems we've had, and hard times, we still have that feeling - its like we are linked on some level and no matter what we can't break the link. I have never felt that for anyone else, although I have been in love before. He says the same, despite having also been in love (and married) before.

    "Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century." -- Mark Twain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good post Briggi. Wise old owl you are...!
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