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Does it exist?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm a big fan of romantic movies like Romeo n Juliet, Shakespeare in Love and all other typically female type movies and it's got me to thinking. Does 'all encompassing love' exist or is it simply an idea spouted by well paid hollywood script writers?

I've been thinking, and whilst I've never been in a relationship before, when I do have one, I long for a certain type of love - the 'couldn't live without' sort of love. The one where you look at your partner and the world dissapears, or when you hold each other everything's perfect.... and I'm wondering do I have my head in the clouds, or does it happen?

I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day (where the man has to arrange the whole wedding to his fiancee without any assistance from her or her family) and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?

What do you think?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't believe in 'all encompassing love'... Just the idea makes me queasy. It just doesn't sound scientific to me.

    I mean how do you prove that somebody is in love?

    How do you know that you are in love?

    I don't believe in things existing just because we 'feel' them... If I did, then I'd go to church.

    However, if it happens to me then it happens, but I doubt it will.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/programmes/dont_tell/

    Looks interesting when's it on?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    interesting. if you're on facebook, you'll find a group called something like "disney movies gave me unrealistic expectations about love" which i think sums it all up.

    i think it's only in the movies because that's what the great writers wrote about because a century ago it actually happened in that way.

    however, times have changed and i think that the fashion/celeb culture we live in doesn't cater for that kind of love at all. we're too conscious about what he/she is wearing and what our mates at the pub will think etc etc. it has changed the way we meet partners and i think we're altogether more shallow than our ancestors, men are not what men used to be and neither are women.

    nowadays it's more about getting drunk and pulling then going on a date because "why not?".

    romance? dead.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can happen but it's rare. Materialistic things can get in the way and peoples expectations have changed, but because people aren't waiting till they find their absolute perfect partner, the one who does make them feel all those things, we're seeing a time when more and more relationships are breaking up, family life is disrupted and people are losing site of what true love really is, to the point that it is seen only as a fairy tale in the movies.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hope with all my heart that it does exist!
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I of course can't speak of experience, but I'd like to remind you all of a simple law of logic:

    It's easy to prove that something exists. All you need is a specimen/example.
    It's very very difficult to prove that something doesn't exist. The only way to do that is to prove that it couldn't.

    Based solely on experience, all someone can say is that they don't believe something exists. Being sure about it is impossible (or unreasonable) since lack of a specimen/example proves absolutely nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it does
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day (where the man has to arrange the whole wedding to his fiancee without any assistance from her or her family) and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?

    What do you think?

    I'm not sure whether I think that sort of love exists or not but I think i certainly wouldnt want it. can you imagine being so completely obsessed with someone that you couldnt spend ONE day apart from them without pining for them? how exhausting that kind of relationship must be! :-/

    i do know what you mean about movies though, i think growing up watching too many girly chick flicks and romantic comedies seriously clouds your thinking of what actual romance is like. very occasionally things happen that are like they are in the movies but not so often, i dont think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Romance is dead but the ritual lives on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it does
    Me too :yes:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    Me too :yes:.

    Same here :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?

    Tbh, I would never consider marrying someone who I wasn't like that with! And yes, it's real. My grandparents were like that right up until death did them part.

    It's not like Hollywood in the sense that it's not all heaving bosoms and lipgloss and everyone's beautiful and they're always down the beach in the blazing sun, but real, normal people can have that kind of love. I've seen it, and I've felt it, and it awesome.

    And pining doesn't always have to be 'oh god, we are apart, how will I ever survive?'. It can just be the quiet, nagging feeling that while you are having a good time doing what you're doing, it'd be a whole lot better if they were there too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And Me!!

    And, I think, luckily, I'm feeling it right now. So much so that we have been doing the maths for getting my fella over here, even for a long weekend, so we dont have to do a whole month more without seeing eachother. Its driving me insane and hurts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, it does exist, imho.,but it's just temporary. you won't look at your wife/husband of 15 years and be head in the clouds like.
    Different things become important later on, and the whole relationship/love thing revolves around a different center.

    First it might be good looks, great sex, or something.

    then it probably would be bit less of that and more trust, more shared interests, etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it might do but i haven't seen it yet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's never happened to me, and I don't think I would want it anyway. I like my independence and space too much to want to be with someone all the time.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,185 Skive's The Limit
    I've been thinking, and whilst I've never been in a relationship before, when I do have one, I long for a certain type of love - the 'couldn't live without' sort of love. The one where you look at your partner and the world dissapears, or when you hold each other everything's perfect.... and I'm wondering do I have my head in the clouds, or does it happen?

    I think it exists but not like it's portrayed in the movies.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    yeah, it does exist, imho.,but it's just temporary. you won't look at your wife/husband of 15 years and be head in the clouds like.
    Different things become important later on, and the whole relationship/love thing revolves around a different center.

    :yes: Yup.

    "True Love" is that later on stage, where you're happy with eachother, comfortable, trusting and understanding of eachother, enjoy eachothers company but equally can still function and be fine by themselves. Also still being able to have a life, go out and not ignore their friends (like many couples who are "in love" seem to do - but it'll bite them in the arse when things fall apart and they come running back to their "friends" for comfort).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    :yes: Yup.

    "True Love" is that later on stage, where you're happy with eachother, comfortable, trusting and understanding of eachother, enjoy eachothers company but equally can still function and be fine by themselves. Also still being able to have a life, go out and not ignore their friends

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. :angel:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's one of those things that you have to experience it to be able to know what it truly is. Unexplainable really though those words mentioned do help to give a general picture of the whole shabang.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Romeo and Juliet wasn't written by Hollywood Scriptwriters. ;):p I think Romeo and Juliet portrays lust rather than love tbh. There's no relationship there, just initial physical attraction. The type of thing that makes people claim they're in love with someone they've known for two weeks.

    I prefer films that take a more realistic approach to relationships and love, like the films of Woody Allen, Wong Kar Wai or Lars von Trier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote: »
    And pining doesn't always have to be 'oh god, we are apart, how will I ever survive?'. It can just be the quiet, nagging feeling that while you are having a good time doing what you're doing, it'd be a whole lot better if they were there too.

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly.

    I get a bit upset sometimes when Rich goes out without me but it's not because I don't want him to go places, it's just that I want to share it with him and stuff. And vice versa when I go out, I know that it'd be that bit better with him there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the kind of stuff which we see in movies are there as a metaphore or you can say we need something at its extreme but practically things are not like that way.
    Its like newton 1st law that if there is no air and friction out there , a rolling ball will roll for ever (an ideal condition) but we know that this kind of situation exit no where but we can get close to that one. The same way "love" or any other concept has an idealistic picture which did not exit out there but we try to reach there by removing all the practical problems out there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know it does because once upon a time i actually had that feeling with someone...but that went down the pan sometime ago...

    i was watching amelie, and thinking that is how i want to fall in love, so it's not about egos or looks, but about what that person does that makes me fall in love. unfortunatly, i fall in love at the drop of a hat, and fall out of love with a very hard bump. i think that you have to hold your cards to your chest until you really know how the other person feels, in order to not hurt yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know it exists cos im feeling it right now i cant live with the girl that i love at the moment and every minute that we're apart i cant stop thinking about her and missing her so that kind of love truly does exist. and those of you who dont think it does wait till you feel it theres nothing like it in the whole world knowing that there is one person whome you care for and love with your entire being and they feel the same way towards you ..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It probably exists. I cannot be certain.

    Though what I do know is, I've got two women at the moment calling me Romeo. At least they're not calling me Macbeth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sure hope it exists
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think that exists, it's more like an ideal of love, being in love with the idea of love.
    I don't think love on that level exists at all, it sounds more like obsession than love to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was cynical of it exisiting until I met my boyfriend and fell head over heels in love with him. When I'm not with him I miss him and can't wait to see him again and when I'm with him I don't want to be anywhere else. I think when you meet someone who you click so well with and who feels the same there is nothing better. It is the most amazing feeling in the world :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does exist, and I honestly think that if you don't feel like that about your partner then you're not with the right person. I wouldn't dream of marrying someone who I didn't feel like that about (even if polygamy was allowed:p).

    It's interesting, though, how love story fairytales always end with marriage, as if once you're married you no longer do anything. Marriage is the start of a love affair, not the end of one.

    I think kaff's described the feeling of pining to a T. It's not about feeling suicidal if they're not there, it's about feeling that you're missing something when you're having fun without them.
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