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Does it exist?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm a big fan of romantic movies like Romeo n Juliet, Shakespeare in Love and all other typically female type movies and it's got me to thinking. Does 'all encompassing love' exist or is it simply an idea spouted by well paid hollywood script writers?
I've been thinking, and whilst I've never been in a relationship before, when I do have one, I long for a certain type of love - the 'couldn't live without' sort of love. The one where you look at your partner and the world dissapears, or when you hold each other everything's perfect.... and I'm wondering do I have my head in the clouds, or does it happen?
I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day (where the man has to arrange the whole wedding to his fiancee without any assistance from her or her family) and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?
What do you think?
I've been thinking, and whilst I've never been in a relationship before, when I do have one, I long for a certain type of love - the 'couldn't live without' sort of love. The one where you look at your partner and the world dissapears, or when you hold each other everything's perfect.... and I'm wondering do I have my head in the clouds, or does it happen?
I was watching 'don't tell the bride' the other day (where the man has to arrange the whole wedding to his fiancee without any assistance from her or her family) and there was one couple who knew everything about each other, and were in love. The sort of relationship where they wouldn't spend a day away from each other without pining. It was wonderful, but is it real?
What do you think?
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Comments
I mean how do you prove that somebody is in love?
How do you know that you are in love?
I don't believe in things existing just because we 'feel' them... If I did, then I'd go to church.
However, if it happens to me then it happens, but I doubt it will.
Looks interesting when's it on?
i think it's only in the movies because that's what the great writers wrote about because a century ago it actually happened in that way.
however, times have changed and i think that the fashion/celeb culture we live in doesn't cater for that kind of love at all. we're too conscious about what he/she is wearing and what our mates at the pub will think etc etc. it has changed the way we meet partners and i think we're altogether more shallow than our ancestors, men are not what men used to be and neither are women.
nowadays it's more about getting drunk and pulling then going on a date because "why not?".
romance? dead.
It's easy to prove that something exists. All you need is a specimen/example.
It's very very difficult to prove that something doesn't exist. The only way to do that is to prove that it couldn't.
Based solely on experience, all someone can say is that they don't believe something exists. Being sure about it is impossible (or unreasonable) since lack of a specimen/example proves absolutely nothing.
I'm not sure whether I think that sort of love exists or not but I think i certainly wouldnt want it. can you imagine being so completely obsessed with someone that you couldnt spend ONE day apart from them without pining for them? how exhausting that kind of relationship must be! :-/
i do know what you mean about movies though, i think growing up watching too many girly chick flicks and romantic comedies seriously clouds your thinking of what actual romance is like. very occasionally things happen that are like they are in the movies but not so often, i dont think.
Same here
Tbh, I would never consider marrying someone who I wasn't like that with! And yes, it's real. My grandparents were like that right up until death did them part.
It's not like Hollywood in the sense that it's not all heaving bosoms and lipgloss and everyone's beautiful and they're always down the beach in the blazing sun, but real, normal people can have that kind of love. I've seen it, and I've felt it, and it awesome.
And pining doesn't always have to be 'oh god, we are apart, how will I ever survive?'. It can just be the quiet, nagging feeling that while you are having a good time doing what you're doing, it'd be a whole lot better if they were there too.
And, I think, luckily, I'm feeling it right now. So much so that we have been doing the maths for getting my fella over here, even for a long weekend, so we dont have to do a whole month more without seeing eachother. Its driving me insane and hurts.
Different things become important later on, and the whole relationship/love thing revolves around a different center.
First it might be good looks, great sex, or something.
then it probably would be bit less of that and more trust, more shared interests, etc.
I think it exists but not like it's portrayed in the movies.
:yes: Yup.
"True Love" is that later on stage, where you're happy with eachother, comfortable, trusting and understanding of eachother, enjoy eachothers company but equally can still function and be fine by themselves. Also still being able to have a life, go out and not ignore their friends (like many couples who are "in love" seem to do - but it'll bite them in the arse when things fall apart and they come running back to their "friends" for comfort).
I agree with this wholeheartedly. :angel:
I prefer films that take a more realistic approach to relationships and love, like the films of Woody Allen, Wong Kar Wai or Lars von Trier.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly.
I get a bit upset sometimes when Rich goes out without me but it's not because I don't want him to go places, it's just that I want to share it with him and stuff. And vice versa when I go out, I know that it'd be that bit better with him there.
Its like newton 1st law that if there is no air and friction out there , a rolling ball will roll for ever (an ideal condition) but we know that this kind of situation exit no where but we can get close to that one. The same way "love" or any other concept has an idealistic picture which did not exit out there but we try to reach there by removing all the practical problems out there.
i was watching amelie, and thinking that is how i want to fall in love, so it's not about egos or looks, but about what that person does that makes me fall in love. unfortunatly, i fall in love at the drop of a hat, and fall out of love with a very hard bump. i think that you have to hold your cards to your chest until you really know how the other person feels, in order to not hurt yourself.
Though what I do know is, I've got two women at the moment calling me Romeo. At least they're not calling me Macbeth.
I don't think love on that level exists at all, it sounds more like obsession than love to me.
It's interesting, though, how love story fairytales always end with marriage, as if once you're married you no longer do anything. Marriage is the start of a love affair, not the end of one.
I think kaff's described the feeling of pining to a T. It's not about feeling suicidal if they're not there, it's about feeling that you're missing something when you're having fun without them.