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Wanting to feel the pain and not cut is fairly normal, I know I get it every now and again. Best thing I found is an elastic band round the wrist which you ping to get the pain but no cutting involved. My ex never understood why I did it either, thought I was a freak, and used to make promise never to do it again etc.
I've used it at work before, it doesnt look odd in an office to have a elastic band round your wrist. Well not on me it doesnt. To be fair if you boyf has very little personal experience of self harm he might find it very hard to understand why you do it, how it effects you etc.
I know how you feel, I always find it hard explaining myself to my boyfriend after cutting, I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to do it, sometimes I get really angry at him even though I know it's for the best that I feel that way coz it is stopping me. Have you tried holding ice on the place where you want to hurt yourself? Sometimes I find that helps coz it hurts but doesn't do any damage. Hope you're ok xx
If you do this, make sure you put a towel or something similar under the ice as it can cause ice burns.
Slightly OT, but for some reason, I always seem to want to cut myself after arguing with people. Are there any better ways of dealing with this?
Its a normal, for me, defensive mechanism: "You made me feel crap and now I'm going to hurt myself" feeling. You have to find something less desructive to get the anger out; scream, cry, punch pillows, do some exercise. Anything to keep you busy.
In the meantime, you might find it helps to talk to someone at supportline you can reach their helpline on 020 8554 9004 (the hours vary so ring for details.) If you don't feel copmfortable/able to speak to someone then perhaps you might like to email jo@samaritans.org - oh and keep posting here
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, sounds like you need a big hug so here's a verbal one. Just to say that I know how you feel about being in a new place and being away from all your friends but just bear with it, it will get better I promise. I never thought it would and it did take time but eventually you get used to it. Hope you start to feel better soon xx
It's gotten to the point I'm not even remembering leaving my house, yet finding my door wide open and my stuff all around the place =\
Ugh... sounds silly, I'll just stop. ;[
that's how i feel
I don't think it's that he really thinks that you're going to do it BUT that should anything happen to you he would feel responsible and like maybe if he'd been there that things would be different.
I'm afraid to go to college in case something makes me snap, walked away from the till point at work because I was going to scream at a customer.
I've had SAD type depression for three years now, been on something...Fluxetine (prozac basically) for three months and it's done jack shit.
I have a huge piece of coursework due on Friday and an exam in two weeks which isn't helping :banghead: I know everyday I miss I'm making it worse but ARGHHHHHHHH I need to scream.
Thanks. I think what makes this worse is that, from the way he goes on about self harm makes me think he doesn't understand anything about it. All he understands is that I'm very likely to cut myself if he argues with me. (which he found out accidently by reading a post I made on here then had a go at me:( )