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I'm feeling better today. Work and feeling shit are still quite overwhelming though
It is a long thread though. 190 pages can't really be classed as anything else when most threads are pages long. He's entitled to his opinion, as are you. Fine, his post may not have been useful to anyone on the planet, but he's done little wrong here, has he...
Ok, so post whoring isn't a crime. but it was an annoying interjection. Almost accusatory in fact. How dare we, the great self-inflicting mass, have the biggest thread in thesite?!
Can we drop it now and return to the actual point.
self harming is a way off life for me when things get too much i dont talk to anyone bottle it up then cut/burn/stab myself, the thing is theres no pain when icut myself no pain atall,but the feelings i had go away,trouble is they return in a few days if memory joged so bottle it up till carnt take no more and do it again .
ill hide the cuts till they heal wont go to doctors/hospital to get them seen too no mater how deep ,or how much blood is lost and if anyone hapens to see them well im a builder it easy to cut yourself in work ,lie after lie to hide wots going on ,until about 3weeks ago that was my life things have changed resantly im now on meds for depression and am seeing a mental health team every week,
carnt say i havent cut myself since cos i have ,i have parts off my life missing remember cuting ,then theres a gap
anyway if anyone feels the same way let me now cheers,,,:banghead:
i really miss my sister at the moment aswell ive been blocking it for nearly three years now, but now its starting to feel like she was just an imaginary friend like she was never real like she was never meant to be here, but i just miss her i want her to be real again.
(sorry im not trying to get attention i just needed to get that out of me i think)
I'm relieved to have found this site that lead me to this discussion board. Putting this thread up was a good idea. I wanted to talk to others and listen to others who have went through this. I don't know anyone I can speak to in real life who can understand and relate to what I'm going through at this time. Only my mother knows I do this and only one of my friends knows. It's hard to talk to them about it when they can't relate, so they tell me.
I haven't cut in a while until recently. I've become numb. You know something is there inside but it won't come out. It's being in a secluded area (in a bubble if you will) that won't burst open and allow you to accept feelings/emotions that are there. It's gotten to where I think of a death in the family that happened recently, and nothing comes up...no sadness or anything. I don't know any other way to stop feeling numb inside other than feeling some kind of pain. After feeling a little bit of pain, I'm back to "normal" and able to go on and do homework or something like that. I understand the self-harming can be dangerous, but it helps when the writing and exercising no longer does.
I've been feeling rotten for a few weeks now. I have absolutely no idea why. First of all - I feel like some sort of fraud. Unhappy? No reason? Rubbish. Surely I should need a reason to feel so sad.
I don't like the word depression. It sounds so clinical, so pharmacological... I don't really think it explains exactly how I feel. I much prefer sad. I feel sad. I know it's semantics... but I don't really care.
I've booked up to use the counselling service in the SU... and i'm going to see my GP... and my best friend is the welfare officer... but basically it makes me feel pathetic. I'm normally the life and soul of my uni, being miserable is sad. I'm trying to put a brave face on... smiles on the outside... inside i'm crying.
Worse thing is - medical students get all sorts of questions asked when they talk about depression... people start questioning whether depressed doctors are a danger to patients... alcoholism comes up...grr
it's shit, isn't it. i lost both of my nanna's within 6 months of eachother.
it is however a fact of life - happens to all of us.
i'm not trying to take away from the fact that it's sad but don't let it ruin your life. x
Update on me: Saw a mental health nurse, being refered to a youth counsellor. How that's different to the counsellor I saw before I have no idea!! Due to see dr next week about the anti-depressants, they've made me feel quite sick recently and shaky, but
know the feeling my sister died when she was 22 which was so much harder to deal with than my granda who died this summer not that that wasnt awful enough its just worse when you assume theyr gona be around almost as long as you.
I guess there are benefits to have this thread as the only one where replies are emailed to me, huh.
Hope you're ok.
You know where I am if you need to chat about anything, yeh?
Nothing wrong with that.
A problem is a problem. Just because yours seem smaller in comparison to others shouldn't put you off letting it out
Why? Everyone feels this way at some time in their life. It's only natural
Anyway, I ain't gonna patronize you or anything about how you are feeling and stuff but I am just going to remind you that my door is *always* open. You've been there for me in the past and I will always return the favour if you ever need it.
hope you feel better soon though.
Hello Liv and welcome :wave:, feel free to express yourself here, we're not here to judge, just to help.
I think what you're saying makes a lot of sense. I used to cut when I was unhappy and my boyfriend of the time was the only one who knew and hated it and asked me to pledge to him never to do it again. I did it for him admittedly although I did backtrack at times, I didn't find it helped, infact made me worse. My problem, and potentionally yours as I see it, is that self-harm is your means of getting control and helping you cope with the way that you feel. When I used to cut, all the tension, fear, feelings that I wasn't in control left me and it gave release and relief. I think this can be said for a lot of people. The only problem is that if you want to stop cutting, you need to find an alternative means to help you cope. I used to write personally - in my livejournal, a lot of poetry and thoughts I wrote down. This didn't feel as effective but I could sort of patch together why I felt the way I did and that gave me some sort of reassurance and helped me see what was making me feel so 'weak' and defeated.
Have you seeked help from your doctors, this is a step forwards. If you're missing your friends, the emotional support and such you'd get from them must also be making you feel down.
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/selfharm
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/stopselfharming
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/minimisingselfharmdamage
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/selfharmlinkspage
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/supportingaselfharmer
The above links are offered by the site, to help you and your boyfriend maybe understand what you're going though. I think it can be hard for someone who has never selfharmed or never wanted to, how integral it feels to handling your emotions and the way you see life.
If I can help anymore feel free to pm or write more up here. xx