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This must be so so so hard and I wish you all the best. If it were me, I think I'd be inclined to forgive him eventually, and make some big changes and make him know that he has to change because there must have been something wrong in the first place.
Since it is out of character and the relationship was so good before, I think that something so precious deserves a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone is stupid at some point or another, some more stupid than others. Definitely cut off the 'friend' he did it with.
Also, regarding the arrogant way he approached it - yes, he is desperate. But he's probably just crap at phrasing what he means. He's desperate for a second chance, he'll say anything.
I would say to clear your head, listen to advice from everyone and take comfort in the fact that they're there for you no matter what, but ultimately you have to decide - is he worth it?