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In my opinion, don't tell her parents. This is something that she has to do, if she wants. I guess that all you could do is to tell her that you think she self-harms, and that it's okay - you don't think she is off her trolley, you're not going to get mad at her about it, you're not going to preach to her about it, etc, etc.
All you can do is be supportive. When she wants to talk about it, she will - telling her once that you believe she is a self-harmer is okay; it might give open a door that she can talk through, if she wants. Bringing it up more than once isn't a great idea - she'll end up feeling bullied about it.
I don't think there is anything you can do, other than be there for her when she wants to talk - just be a friend, go for beers as friends do, go to the cinema as friends do, and moan to her about how crappy men are. Don't hide stuff from her that you would normally tell her, but I'd try to avoid dwelling on anything likely to make her feel worse about the world.
Also, remember that I know nothing about nothing, and that my post will be about how I think I'd act in the situation I have in my head. It could involve donkeys, jelly-beans and Jive Bunny for all you know
Nothing is probably likely to be more valuable than the advice that people on this board can give you from experience. But here is TheSite's advice on supporting a self-harmer
Take care
I've only known her for a few months, and I'm really glad she told me about it. She's never told anybody else, apart from a teacher when she was at school. I'm kinda worried because I know she really likes me, and perhaps we're a bit closer than we should be (I have a gf). I think that's why she trusted me enough to tell me anyway. But I want to be there for her so much. Can I still be there for her with this, even if she might have told me because she feels a certain way about me?
Unfortunately, the more you try and force her to talk and get her to open up to you the further away you will push her. And she will certainly not like it if you tell her parents - in fact, if someone told my parents that I self harmed then I probably wouldn't ever be able to trust that person ever again.
Sorry, I know that isn't what you want to hear.
Being a friend in a situation like yours is a difficult thing to be. You need to stand by her, make it clear that she can trust you and if she needs someone to talk to that you will be there for her and care for her, but you cannot push her into talking or getting help.
Sadly, there isn't much more you can do to help.
Hope it all goes OK for you xx
Ed is a very lucky guy, Manda. He has the most wonderful person as his girlfriend and he knows it. Let him support you, let him in. You need to go back to your doctors and speak to them and tell them all this.
You know where to find me if you want to talk. I am always there for you and you know it. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately but if you email me or PM me I *promise* i'll reply.
You are a wonderful person. Don't let this ruin you. xx
And on TV last night, I saw an advert about self-harm awareness and it looked like it was aimed at kids.
I'm so glad!
yeah so cut lots again anyway.
i wish it was that easy, part of the problem being that my head has gone awol.
im seeing him in a month - i know i should have asked but it freaked me out - it sounded too serious and i panicked.
My doc mentioned it to me quite a while ago but i refuse to tell my mum theres anything wrong so i cant exactly have mental health workers showing up!
http://community.netdoktor.com/ccs/uk/depression/coping/need_someone/professionals/article.jsp?articleIdent=uk.depression.coping.need_someone.professionals.uk_depression_article_5026
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/therapy_experts.shtml#community_mental_health_nurses_(chmn),_community_psychiatric_nurses_(cpn)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatric_nurse
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatric_and_mental_health_nursing
From what I can gather, I'd say the name is more scary than what the nurse actually does
We all have days/weeks/months like this. For some reason. I'm not coping at the moment either and I dont know why. Even my boyf has cottoned on and asks me if I'm alright and I just tell him its PMS. You just have to find a way of coping with cutting. I haven't felt the need for about a month but they have just come back with avengence. Just remember that you not alone and that you can get a lot of support of all the board. Hows the additional support going?
Don't even get why i'm posting, suppose for a bit of support maybe.
I dont know why but recently i felt the major urge to harm, I dont know where it has come from or why but my legs look like a noughts and croses grid, i feel really ashamed, and i guess i have no where to turn (hence posting here), this is like my first set back in years. whatever.
Personally, I haven't cut since the end of last month. Everything was just in turmoil for me, work wise, financially, personally...
But... I've started myself a new diary. A happy diary. I write in it when I feel happy, so that when I feel down I can look back to it and think: ok, doing this, being there, listening to this, watching this, or people with these people, will make me happy.
As for the badtimes...they're reserved to my poetry scrapbook.
I think this will really work and I'm hoping that it will. I'll let y'all know how it goes, in case anyone wants to try it out.
Also, after having a good long talk with a friend, I decided that my mentality was something that I really had to sort out myself. I think she's realised even though I haven't told her directly, that I have depressive tendancies and that I self-harm. But it's awesome that she hasn't expressed that she knows directly. She's gonna be there for support, but she really did help me realise that this was something I had to do for myself.
So, for lent, I've given up on negativity. I've done a big mental clear out, basically, and I'm feeling awesome! Yesterday was officially the best day I've had in so long. Definitely all year.
Keep it up, guys!
x
Of course, if the walk doesn't help you could then go to the supermarket and stock up on huuuuuuge amounts of chocolate.
I know that sometimes in the worst situations everything can just come to you all of a sudden. If this ever happens again, then just get up and leave. Just gather your things, and walk out the class. If someone asks, just tell them you feel ill.
8 days of doing my best to stay positive for lent has just killed me and I just feel so... meh...
Don't cut, disteract yourself. Don't focus on not cutting, don't focus on not being sad, because all you end up doing is focusing on sadness and cutting. Take each day as it comes, its not a challenge to see who's the best person at not cutting. I haven't cut for years, but then I did it the other week. There's no shame in it, really.
i had to wash my sheets when i woke up.
i am drained and exhausted.
i am tired.
i cant keep going.
because its all too hard.
I had an assessment on my wrist when I fell off my skateboard years ago. It meant they poked and prodded for a couple of minutes, then it went in a splint
Anything from the medical or IT industry has to have scary names, and use big words. It is so they can appear to be better educated than the average Joe - don't worry too much about it! Instead of assessment, think of the word consultation - all they'll probably do is meet with you, ask you to talk about how you feel, what makes you feel it, etc, etc. Think of them as strangers asking the kind of questions you'd ask your best friend if you were concerned about them, and wanted to help - I guess you'll not be too far off the mark.
Of course, I know nothing. They may insist that their assessment involves the use of a cattle-prod, and that you have to remove your knickers. Just make sure you do what they say
Chin up
Today I forgot to put my bracelets on, and I noticed that I got a few interesting looks. Should I make more of an effort to cover them up? Is it friendlier and safer that way? I'm thinking more of other people than myself, here.