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Slowing cars down...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Renzo wrote:
    I wouldnt like being shouted at by a bunch of girls in a car no.

    That's not what I asked.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    What about a group of 10 ten women with 2 guys in tow?

    What about it?

    I'm a six-foot rugby player, and I'd be threatened by a car full of six-foot rugby players.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jesus this thread has grown 7 or 8 pages in a few hours!

    (sorry this is going to be really long...)
    I agree with franki, just because a girl is 'dessed to impress' doesn't mean she's wanting every man who drives past to honk and shout 'nice tits' to her.
    I was 14 when this random guy shouted it at me. It was the middle of summer, i was wearing jeans and a vest. The only skin i had on show was my arms. Does that mean i was asking for it? Of course not.

    In may, when i was on work experience, i was walking back from a shop with another girl. I had quite loose fitting black trousers on and a jacket. Some 40 something year old builders shouted 'nice arses' to us. Do you think we were asking for it?

    Yesterday when that guy slowed down and stared at me, i had a thick coat some old jeans on and i was walking my dog. My hair was a mess i had no makeup on and i was full of cold. Was i asking for it? No. I actually felt quite threatened.

    The reason it scared me so much was because once when i was 13, i was at the train station (only a tiny local one with 2 stations) and after i sat down i noticed this guy over the other side. At first he just kept walking up and down and when he got opposite me, he'd smirk in a weird way then turn away. After a bit he creeped over the bridge, all the time with his hands in his pockets and smirking in this creepy way. I ignored him because i didn't want to show i was scared. Baring in mind we were the only people on the station so i was very alone. Then he walked past me and stood a few hundred yards away. I could feel him staring and he still had his hands in his pockets. And he kept creeping closer. I was absolutly terrified. He was literally right next to me when someone else came on to the station. I was so terrified that when i got on the train i burst into tears and cried all the way home. I was only 13 for gods sake. And this guy was giving off signals that he was going to do something. After that i refused to catch the train home from school. So now if a guy at all turns around or slows his car down to leer at me...its terrifies me because it reminds me of that time on the station.

    I really think that leering and honking is uncalled for....it's pointless. And it can be very threatening. So unless you know she's going to find it amusing...just think twice before you do it. Because i and i'm sure many other girls/women find it threatening.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    What about it?

    What do you think? Do you think that's threatening? 2 guys in the centre town passing by 2 guys with 10 girls?


    I'm a six-foot rugby player, and I'd be threatened by a car full of six-foot rugby players.

    Right... :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Renzo wrote:
    I wouldnt like being shouted at by a bunch of girls in a car no.

    I would, unless they were cheap and nasty :yuck:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    I really think that leering and honking is uncalled for....it's pointless. And it can be very threatening. So unless you know she's going to find it amusing...just think twice before you do it. Because i and i'm sure many other girls/women find it threatening.

    And a lot like it too - so the problem lies with how it's taken by some, rather than the harmless act in itself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont see the point in bloakes doing it, I'm just going to ignore them, unless its some I used to work with shouting that I'm a slapper on the street from their company car. He was VERY lucky I didnt report it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    And a lot like it too - so the problem lies with how it's taken by some, rather than the harmless act in itself.
    just because some 'like it' doesn't make it ok for other women, after all...who wants to feel threatened?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some of the attitudes in here are really disgusting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some of the attitudes in here are really disgusting.

    Someone else said that too but failed to mention if they're disgusted at the way someone women leer at men too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    just because some 'like it' doesn't make it ok for other women, after all...who wants to feel threatened?

    Ok, to comment to a lone woman in a quiet street could be threatening. But in a busy city centre, with a group of women?
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Some of the attitudes in here are really disgusting.

    Gotta say I agree.

    *shudder*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone else said that too but failed to mention if they're disgusted at the way someone women leer at men too.

    I said the attitudes were disgusting, not even bringing into question who is leering at who.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whos attitudes are discusting?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    And a lot like it too - so the problem lies with how it's taken by some, rather than the harmless act in itself.

    So it's women's fault for not "taking the compliment". Shouldn't be so frigid, yeah?

    Damn those rape victims for not taking a joke!

    After all, they can choose to get leered at by some braindead cunt, yeah?

    How charming you are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The people who seem to think people who get honked/shouted at are asking for it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote:
    You should see my stand up.

    *Blagsta takes to the stand infront of a baying female audience*

    "CHECK OUT BLAGSTA'S ARSE!!!"

    "That's sexual objectification, and quite frankly i find that offensive".

    *Security escorts a cowering Blagsta off stage to howls of derision and a barrage of missiles*

    Now that I'd come to London for. When you next up mate?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    So it's women's fault for not "taking the compliment". Shouldn't be so frigid, yeah?

    Damn those rape victims for not taking a joke!

    After all, they can choose to get leered at by some braindead cunt, yeah?

    How charming you are.

    Stop talking about rape eh?

    Got sweet FA to do with this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Except it's not just chavs. It's old men in lorries and vans. And I'm not upset that I look attractive, I'm upset that they feel it necessary to make the comments that they do. "Nice tits" is NOT complimenting what I'm wearing, let's be honest about this. Ditto "nice arse". And "nice skirt" means "nice legs", because if I was wearing a skirt that was knee length or lower, they wouldn't say it. It's hard to explain, but there are other ways of complimenting me that don't imply that I'm just some piece of sex with clothes on.


    yes but the old men in lorries would do it to anyone, you shouldn't take it personally. a "nice arse love" comment wouldn't offend me in the slightest. infact if it was from an old man i'd find it funny.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    YOu know damn well that shouting and honking and harrassing people is threatening, especially to lone women.

    It isn't pleasant in a nightclub either, but at least it is safer.

    how is honking at someone threatening? sure it might make me jump but i wouldn't think OMG a horn..argh. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina - I have a fun story similar to yours.

    I was at my friend's 18th last May. I had a pair of jeans and a dress on. Yeh, it was low cut, but I was wearing a jacket over it. My friend and I went out to the road to be picked up, but her parents came first. After about 5 minutes of me being on my own, a guy (drunk) on a bike came riding up. He stopped near me, and started saying stuff to me. I ignored him first of all, then after a while, he started touching me, so I basically told him to fuck off. Everytime I moved, he moved in front of me, and he kept touching me, on my arm, on my waist, that kinda thing. I was scared shitless, I honestly thought he was going to rape me. He probably would have, if my mum hadn't come along. I got in the car and I was shaking so hard. So when a guy on the street starts commenting on how I'm dressed, I get really fucking freaked out. I didn't mind as much before then, but now it scares me shitless. So please don't tell me that it's ok, because it's just a compliment to them. The guy touching me and not letting me past was probably "just giving me a compliment", but that doesn't make it any less scary.

    For the record, I think women who shout at men are just as bad as the men that shout as women.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Stop talking about rape eh?

    Got sweet FA to do with this.

    But it does.

    People who find this behaviour intimidating normally have very good reasons to. But hey, its their problem for being stuck-up bitches who can't take a joke, eh?

    What, exactly, do you find wrong with the idea that if you don't know if someone likes it, that you don't slow down whilst driving past them calling them names? I can't see a problem with it meself.

    And no, I don't like it when pissed-up girls in limos scream at everyone in sight either. But don't try and pretend that a group of pissed girls shouting at a bloke is as intimidating as a group of men shouting at girls.

    Not that this is ever going to change anything. I don't think its right to shout things at people if you don't know that they want the attention, and you think it's OK to holler at any girl just because she wears sexy clothing and does her make-up. You're still going to act like the neanderthal, I'm still going to think its wrong to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how is honking at someone threatening? sure it might make me jump but i wouldn't think OMG a horn..argh. :p

    Yeah, and I know people who were violently attacked, and it took them years to have the confidence to go out again.

    I don't think its right to do it if you don't know the person can deal with it as a joke. It isn't up to them to deal with some braindead leering twat- it's up to the braindead leering twat to keep his lip buttoned and his hand off the horn.

    What's wrong with that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok so not all women are rape victims. But when you've been in a threatening situation with a man....it usually stays with you. For instance if anyone else has read my story, it probably doesn't sound much. But believe me, when you're 13, on your own and out of sight and theres a weirdo acting very strange towards you...you're going to be scared. If that other guy hadn't turned up then i dunno what would have happened. Same with franki.
    Its not our fault it happened and its not our fault for finding it threatening.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    But it does.

    People who find this behaviour intimidating normally have very good reasons to. But hey, its their problem for being stuck-up bitches who can't take a joke, eh?

    What, exactly, do you find wrong with the idea that if you don't know if someone likes it, that you don't slow down whilst driving past them calling them names? I can't see a problem with it meself.

    And no, I don't like it when pissed-up girls in limos scream at everyone in sight either. But don't try and pretend that a group of pissed girls shouting at a bloke is as intimidating as a group of men shouting at girls.

    Not that this is ever going to change anything. I don't think its right to shout things at people if you don't know that they want the attention, and you think it's OK to holler at any girl just because she wears sexy clothing and does her make-up. You're still going to act like the neanderthal, I'm still going to think its wrong to.

    Right. So one rule for women and one rule for men on the off-chance a women has been the victim of sexual assault?

    Emotions of over logic kermit...AGAIN.

    What about someone trying it on with a women in a club who has been sexually attacked in the past without knowing whether the girl's up for it or not? Is that not potentially just as troubling, if not more so, than someone leering from a passing car?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes but the old men in lorries would do it to anyone, you shouldn't take it personally. a "nice arse love" comment wouldn't offend me in the slightest. infact if it was from an old man i'd find it funny.

    At last, some sense on the matter :) .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Right. So one rule for women and one rule for men on the off-chance a women has been the victim of sexual assault?

    Emotions of over logic kermit...AGAIN.

    Not really. I don't think women should lean out of limos screaming at men either. Did you miss that bit?

    Why do you think it is acceptable to lean out of cars shouting things at women? "Girls in short skirts want attention" is something a sex pest would come out with. Try harder.
    What about someone trying it on with a women in a club who has been sexually attacked in the past without knowing whether the girl's up for it or not? Is that not potentially just as troubling, if not more so, than someone leering from a passing car?

    If you grab her arse and don't leave her alone, then it is.

    I seem to remember you also arguing that its fine to grope and assault women in clubs too. For the same reason too- a girl in a short skirt loves having some dirty scrote's hands all over her arse, obviously.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    Ok so not all women are rape victims. But when you've been in a threatening situation with a man....it usually stays with you. For instance if anyone else has read my story, it probably doesn't sound much. But believe me, when you're 13, on your own and out of sight and theres a weirdo acting very strange towards you...you're going to be scared. If that other guy hadn't turned up then i dunno what would have happened. Same with franki.
    Its not our fault it happened and its not our fault for finding it threatening.

    But if you're out in a busy town centre...with your friends...police about...what harm or danger is presented by a passing comment? It just isn't logical in that situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate it when I get beeped. It's just embarrassing. I don't wear skirts, I don't dress like a tart (stereotype from whatever), so I'm not parading about saying 'beep me, go on I dare ya!'.

    I do feel threatened when it happens. If it's when I'm in a group that's different because it won't be for me (all my friends are a lot hotter than I am!) but on my own it is threatening.

    Skive, Turlough etc, you can't see this from a woman's perspective, and I know you will argue that women do it to blokes as well. In all honesty I have never whistled, hooted, beeped, shouted at a bloke. Basically it's unwanted attention. How is it any different from pinching someone's bum, or anything else like that? Ok so it isn't physical sexual harrassment, but it's harrassment based on (often sexual) appearance.

    For ages I couldn't walk past the firestation in my village because of the leery firemen, and went a really long way home just to avoid it. It's even worse when the blokes involved are in a postion of community respect, ie firemen. If another member of the emergency services did something like that whilst on duty/in uniform people would complain!

    On the subject of 'asking for it', the reason I get beeped (I cannot belive I am about to post this) is because of my, ahem, chest. It is ALWAYS (!) covered up when I go out, so how is that asking for it? Simply because they are big? Great.

    Another reason I hate it is that I always think they are taking the piss!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    On the subject of 'asking for it', the reason I get beeped (I cannot belive I am about to post this) is because of my, ahem, chest. It is ALWAYS (!) covered up when I go out, so how is that asking for it? Simply because they are big? Great.

    i'm well blessed in that department, too. :p

    men are visual creatures; and will like a pair of nice tits. unless i'm wearing a ridiculously large jumper then people are going to see that i'm err, well blessed. so if an old man decides to look/comment on them then i ignore it. neither of us are asking to be gawped at, but it happens!
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