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But, is it any way to live the rest of your life not being completely honest or open with yourself or other people around you? You're only half living if you can't express yourself.
They don't have to come with you to counselling, obviously it's a very private thing, but maybe they need to go on their own too? It's really shocking to realise that someone you love doesn't want to live anymore, they probably feel a bit rejected.
In was just how I felt personally tho.
You describe that your family don't help you deal with things, neither do mine. I choose my own college courses, if i skip too many lessons at college and they ring home my mum simply tells me that "College called", with girl problems, life problems and the like i don't turn to my family because they wouldn't help me with them.
Could i live without them? No.
If i moved away and cut all ties, then read the obituaries in the paper and found out my mum had died, i'd be absolutely horrified. It'd make me feel like as a failure as a son. Life isn't like the movies, it ain't all group hugs and games. Sometimes you've got to bite the bullet and understand that your family loves you. More than anything else in the world. You might not be able to see it, but they do and always will, and if you ever get yourself into a huge mess they'll do what they feel they can.
This is the family that has loved, nurtured, paid for and raised you to be the exact person you are today for the past what, 19/20 years? Imagine if you did the same to your son and they just cut all ties.
Just some food for thought. My advice? Wait until September 2006, and go move to a university. That way, you live away from home yet still get to go home and see the family at half terms and the like.