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If you're going to move somewhere and not know anybody, and be skint because all your money goes on bank loans and rent, then don't bother. Only move if you have a purpose for moving, and you have decent employment or studying opportunities lined up.
Both me and the wife have moved a decent distance from the familial homes, but we had each other and we had something in Newcastle to move there for. And we knew people up here anyway.
Don't move if you're just going to end up in a bedsit by yourself with no money.
We are just telling you what we think, you asked for opinions so you are getting them. It's not our fault if we don't agree with you.
From what youv'e said, you obviously want to go. So just do it, get out of Wales and start a new life somewhere else. Just remember that it could be the biggest mistake of your life, or it could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
You aren't likely to do
Or
You might
But that there is no need for them to be pussy footing around. It sounds to me like they may feel slightly held to ransom, in which case maybe it is better all round for you to remove yourself from the family and deal with life on your own. Ultimately they will be worried and upset but how would that be different to how it is now.
Incidentally - were you offered counselling after your suicide attempt, maybe you should go for some - perhaps you should even recommend that your family come too, that way you could all learn to open up?
It's not the moving part that people are 'against' more so the whole cutting off your family completley and forever kindof thing.
If money is going to be tight and you still want to move, there are cheaper locations to live than London if you've thought about that?
if you are unhappy with yourself then it doesn't matter where you are, you will still feel the same
But I don't think moving from the familial home into a grotty bedsit which you can't afford will do you any favours at all.
If you want to move then move, but I think you don't quite realise how much of a difference having your own place is. How much more expensive it all is, and how you simply cannot move into a place unless you have the guaranteed income to pay for it.
I don't think you are considering the practical aspects of it enough. You don't have employment or studying lined up, and unless you have employment or financed studying lined up you shouldn't move anywhere.
As I've already said, estrangement was a bad idea and I won't be doing it.
I would be worried if you don't know anyone, because new cities can be very lonely.
So you would rather be alone? I'm just trying to get where you're coming from thats all.
As far as moving away is concerned, why are you choosing the most expensive city to live in? The cost of transport alone is going to be difficult for you.
you know it is possible to stand on your own feet within the place you already live
My mum lives in Penarth in S wales and I used to live in Cardiff, now Newport. I rarely see her. Not because I don't want to, but because I have my own life and job and she has hers. Infact - since I moved to Newport 3 years ago I think she's only visited me twice!
Is it that your parents and family would keep coming round to check up on you, that makes you want to go so far away?
in which case, maybe you need to work hard to make them realise that they don't have to be checking up on you! If you feel ready to strike out on your own in a new City (Manchester is nice by the way) then you can do so while you are still thee.
I know how hard it is being somewhere you just want to get away from, but try not to get to miserable about it while you are waiting to move on.
:yes: indeed.
Right now, for example, it's my day off work. So, I thought I'd spend a few hours online, have a nice quiet day. But no! My mum has been pestering me all bloody afternoon about a health problem I have. I'm not going to reveal what it is, I'll simply say it's no relation whatsoever to depression. She's been going "you really should see a doctor about this, I'm worried about you". Mind your own fucking business, woman! :mad:
Sounds like you are getting yourself together with the new job etc, so you are moving in the right direction. You just need to show your mum that you are. What harm would going to the doctor do?
If I were you 'd sort out an appointment and deal with the problem, that way she can't keep on at you anymore
My Grandad tried to commit suicide when I was 14, up until this point we were close, he was very depressed after his wife died and wanted to be with her, afterwards, everyone felt like they had to walk on eggshells, it's only natural to feel this way, as I've grown older, I've not remained as close, and I can't help but feel that he was very very selfish. What about all the people he would have left behind, and personally, I still feel slightly angry with him. I understand that depression is a very personal thing but it can blindside you, and make you very self absorbed.
Have you ever thought that maybe your family might need some counselling? They probably felt like they failed at being good parents/siblings etc., and it could be a contributary factor as to why they are over-compensating at the moment? And I know that you said the counselling made you feel worse, but you have to stick at it! It will get worse before it gets better. One of my closest friends has terminal cancer, she goes to counselling once a week, and it's really helped her, and I am thinking about going too because everytime I think of life without her to share the good times it breaks my heart. This is besides the point tho. I don't think you will find peace until your family start to listen to eachother a bit more.
As Nice but dim 23 says, parents worry about you, because they are your parents!!! You can't honestly tell me that if they didn't worry about you, you wouldn't feel slightly put out?
It sounds like you seriously need to start getting a wider perspective on things, let people help you, and remember that everything you do and everything you say has a ripple effect on other peoples lives.