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Except to say, provide some proof or retract the statement.
This whole thread is a fantastic way to repay all of us who put so much time and energy into these boards.
Excuse me? When have I made a dig at you in here?
And I've mentioned no names. Nobody knows who I'm talking about so whats the problem?
Same here.
I don't really think there's a massive problem with the "attitude" of anybody on here. People might come across as being blunt when giving advice or opinions, but is it not a good thing that there's different perspectives on things?
If somebody made ten helpful posts in the relationships forum one day, and one was a bit more blunt and straight to the point than the rest, which one would be remembered?
Using Kermit as an example, he's probably made a lot more "straight to the point" comments than a lot of other people, but then he's made a lot (lot
If somebody came asking for advice and the only reply they got was a "harsh" one then it'd look a lot worse, but when somebody comes on and gets loads of good advice but isn't willing to listen then what else are you meant to do?
There's people that I think have come across badly in the past with some of their posts, but when you look at the advice and experience that they've got then their presence here is of benefit.
I think I'd agree with LittleMissy and Bri on this whole thread tbh.
My post count is only so bad because I was unemployed for about six months. I never want to do that again.
If people have an issue with "rudeness" then I'll listen (unless they're a moron) and if I think they're right then I'll amend what I say. I don't always think they're right, and I don't think ShyBoy has ever been right in his life. But I think the amount of time I've spent on these boards, using my experience to try and help people (I note that only Franki has offered more advice in the self-harm forum) justifies my position fully.
People are different in real life, but I don't think people are that different. You just get a better idea of context. I'm not always frothing at the mouth on here, I just find arguments in P&D to be entertaining (though I do hate the BBC, Stagecoach and the council
It wouldn't have been any more of a bitchfest, or maybe it would. But then at least people could defend themselves against allegations of being rude, unhelpful and far from an asset to thesite rather than just blindly wondering if they are one of the people being reprimanded.
I don't know about anyone else - and maybe I'm guilty of being oversensitive too - but I do feel very much personally attacked whenever these threads come around, and I think that is a lot more upsetting and unsettling for someone who has invested their time and experience voluntarily in a place like this... than it is upsetting for a new user (or whoever) being subject to a flippant remark.
But if you're going to ask for advice, you have to be prepared for people's answers. It can be frustrating to see the same people make the same mistakes over and over again.
Every time this thread comes up, people mention how they perceive a really rude tone when people are making points in a debate and that's apparently an attitude thing. I don't think it is, I think sometimes the very nature of debates can raise the temperature a bit (e.g Iraq, feminism, Subway sandwiches
Part of having good debating skills is not to take things personally and take a step back and concentrate on your argument rather than the amount of swear words in your opponents post.
While I'm on this, for some reason I used to be amazingly rude and patronising to some people (I think briggi, rainbow brite and others) when a debate was going in threads and often said things just to stoke the fire a bit. That was pretty pathetic, and I always feel a bit bad now incase people take arguments like that to heart, y'know?
I wouldn't call what I write in there advice :no:.
I'd just like to make a point about the "naming no names" thing...although I understand that the intention is so that the person doesn't know you're talking about them, a lot of the time it is very obvious who is being spoken about and tbh it hurts more that whoever is writing it can't just talk to you first. I think it's sometimes better to just say who you're talking about so that people don't get really paranoid thinking you're talking about them.
Justathought,like.
Am with old Skivey-boy on the whole thing, if I had to take sides.
Good to see I got a mention in this thread as I often have something terse to say.
There isn't that much of a problem i don't think. Or if there is i've just totally ignored it.
There have been a couple of people who I haven't seen eye to eye on a few threads, that's life. I have choices, with that. I've never put them on ignore, I deal with whatever is going on in that thread, and then I totally forget about it and chat with them about mundane things on other threads.
If this thread is about Kermit then people should watch what they say. Yes, sometimes he can be blunt, rude and over the top, but at the same time when somebody has a real problem he gives some of the best advice on this forum. He's put more effort and time into this site than the vast majority of you, just remember that.
I agree with this, whenever I do post for advice on here, I sometimes feel a bit targeted, not by anyone inparticular, but there seems to be somebody about who's willing to criticize depending on the situation.
I would say that I'd never post a serious problem on here, but I have in recent weeks, just under another name, and I can't fault the advice I recieved in there considering what a controversial topic it is, and that's the kind of thing I think shows how brilliant TheSite can be. In one way, I wish I'd posted it in this username now, just to see if the replies had been any different, though I hope it wouldn't have.
but whatever... I think this place is far better than other forums I've been to, so I'm not really complaining.
Thing about P&D is that if someone gives you shit then give it right back, Aladin is nowhere near as stubborn as Blagsta is, at the same time, they're both sound lads. Just people's personas change in different atmospheres.
lol
Looking at the threads that have been replied to in the last day or so I can see replies to questions about...
parental expectations, dealing with a friend of the opposite sex, whether you can feel in love too soon in a relationship, dealing with the memories of an ex, getting together with a friend, not calling after getting someone's number, being too sociable, making a relationship serious, condoms being too tight, what cream can reduce a hicky, sorting out shaving rash/spots on a bikni line, how to wake up fresh in the morning, the affect of medication on sex drive, why to avoid exercise after an abortion, if reflexology socks are any good, how to deal with a doctor who isn't interested in providing a referral to a counselling service, how a doctor will examine and treat a mole, why a psychologist might ask about previous life experiences when dealing with a phobia, issues about body size, the possible side-effects of someone else using coke, possible identification of an unknown pill, possible bad coke, the ways and means in moving out, how to delivery money to a foriegn bank account, access to gas and electricity meters, dealing with a website posting innacurate quotes for promotional reasons, how to handle a noisy neighbour, where to buy bikinis, where to get a certain style of shorts, advice on bra fittings, claiming incapacity benefit, why MSN disconnects at midnight, how to get to world 4 and 7 in super mario DS, where to get a beta of Office 2007, how airlines treat rucksacks, what Aegina is like as an island, what US wages are like in San Deigo, suggestions for places to visit in Western Ireland, what the uni requirements are for medical degrees, what marks are required to pass a Food Hygiene Certificate, what courses to approach in someone's next year, how to make yourself stand out with a 2:2, what grade a 65% mark is, how recognised the ECDL is... amongst others.
Now in pretty much all of those threads I haven't seen people having a go at each other, apart from one. They are all pretty much full of people giving advice (some good, some spot on, some abstract, some just confirming what others say, some off the mark, but all with good intentions). So I'd agree with what others have said, that people can sometimes focus on the problems and ignore the good advice being given all around.
As the original article states some people do like to form mobs, do like to get people to have a go at other users, do like to botch, and do like to pretend other people are bitching, and we deal with that as best we can.
But we have a level we think is acceptable, and we think its pretty close to that right now, in fact I'd say the amount of problems right now is much, much better than it was, and has improved consistently for the last few years.
Finally I'd like to make it clear what the 'report post' button is there for. If people do see something they think is inappropriate and they just ignore it rather than reporting the post then they can't just expect things to be delt with, especially when they themselves may have a different view to the mods.
Using the report post button is all well and good for spam, but that's the least of what it's there for - if people do see an example of something that bothers them, report it, and a mod will look into it. They may not agree with, they may not agree in the slightest, but they will consider the reported post and they will look over the thread.
To be honest shyboy, if you think you've seen threads recently as bad as you describe here, then you should have reported them.
Cheers. I haven't read it yet, but I'm failing to comprhend how a thread about sandwiches ends up pissing everyone off. Did Kermit want pickles and no-one else did?