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This place has some, a lot of it gets deleted, and every other forum has the same sort of thing to some extent.
Honestly I think sometimes people get a bit too offended by what are fairly innocuous words, and I wonder how they get by in the outside world where the banter can sometimes be harsh. Sometimes I think some folk haven't actually learnt some of the life lessons that teach you how to deal with people - maybe because they have been wrapped in cotton wool all their lives. In some cases (not all) I think the person on the receiving end of the "attuitude" sometimes needs it.
I agree with that. It does my head in when someone is asking for help and someone will come along and have a go at them, either calling them stupid or have a go because of their typing.
eta: I'm talking in general. I'm not talking about alasia because that was over several threads and was very frustrating.
As far as I can see the last hostility in either sex, health or relationships was about Alasia and people expressing their opinion that she should have an abortion, and that was in reference to her problems after a series of threads by her and not just in reference to the OP.
Who are you actually talking about? Ok so thesite is a welcoming environment or whatever you quoted and maybe people should be more helpful than they are but I think overall a lot of good advice and support is given and received here and I can't see the problems you claim to be stating. I can however see what I think you have posted about and are now trying to cover it up with other things.
ETA - just read Lipsy's post. Is this about Sweet Cheeks' many Valentine's threads where people made comments about her spelling and whatnot? Because she was pointed in the direction of the user's guide several times early on and made no attempt to type more legibly, or less pink. And it didn't stop her coming back either!
I think people are mostly very polite, tolerant and generous with their time and experience on these forums. But we're all human and we aren't paid to be here as you said yourself ShyBoy, so expecting everyone to ahere to some code of conduct more restrictive than the rules that are already stated is not viable in my opinion. Everyone gets pissed off from time to time, we're human, we're discussing some pretty emotional and personal topics a lot of the time.
As for people talking to others on here in unacceptable ways, I've only ever seen that in P&D and though of course it's never excuseable it is a lot more understandable in the context of a lot of the topics that are discussed in there.
I think if I had some things I wanted advice about I would definitely create a new account and set several people to ignore before I posted.
P&D is another matter, I go through phases of going no where near it with a barge pole because it starts to do my head in.
One of the problems with any written communication is that lack of tone, you can't tell if someones joking, if someone's being sarcastic, and they can't tell how someone is going to take what they say. Some things can be hard to express exactly what you mean with what kind of tone which then causes problems.
Ho hum :chin:
Really?
It's funny because I genuinely feel the exact opposite way about the vast, overwhelming majority of people on here - especially the people who take time out of their lives to advise on health and relationships specifically.
I guess I must've missed these offensive posts people are always referencing.
There are 2 main reasons I wouldn't ask for advice on here: the first being that 'im indoors is a member and that would bother me slightly. The second being that a lot of people on here know me quite well and IRL so I have lost that little bit of anonimty, which is something I like.
Yes, there is bitchiness. But I feel that those who genuinely need advice, generally get it. The bitchiness and frustration is when people are being told the same thing over and over again and advice is just ignored time and time again. Or, after a gentle warning about text speak, continue to give attitude about what they can and can't say / write.
So yes, that is my tuppence worth
:yes:.
ShyBoy - you said that you think people go overboard on the text speak thing, but imo it IS only when they are being told over and over again that it is against TheSite etiquette and that they shouldn't do it. The original text speak point is usually made as a "I know you're new, please don't txt tlk, [link]" type thing. The only time it goes a bit OTT is when the person ignores that and says "if you don't like it don't read it" or similar.
*shrug*
They may get away with it in introductions but anywhere else they can expect a good attacking and accused of being 12.
I usually only have a problem when you say something and people leap on you and completly blow what you said out of proportion, or they act like you can only have one extreme opinion or another, not somewhere in the middle. But that usually only happens in P+D which is fair enough, and I generally keep quiet in there for fear of writing something that comes out a bit wrong and having to spend 5 pages trying to explain myself!
Tbh, if I had something I needed genuine advice on with regards to my personal life, I would PM one or two particular users, rather than post it on the boards.
I couldn't agree more!
When I first read the thread I instantly jumped to the same conclusion as Kermit (that it was about him!) because he can be somewhat intimidating in P&D! However, I'd say he's pretty much the resident guru in home, law & money and can always be relied upon to give a well thought out and educated response. His advice to me in the past in that particular forum has been invaluable, to the point where people have started to write 'Kermit will be along in a while with some better advice.'
I've seen soooo many of these threads that they're getting boring now.
I agree with that. Sometimes you'll get people claiming to be asking for advice, and then proceed to attack anyone who doesn't say exactly what they want to hear. And what do you expect in that case?
Hmmm.
Your entertainment is much better than most advice.
As BumbleBee says, I'm not sure what the point of this thread was, to be quite honest. Either you have the courage of your convictions to criticise certain members, or you keep schtum. If there's one thing I can't abide it's this whole "people who shan't be named" rubbish- if you believe something you name and shame, and if you don't believe enough something to name and shame then you keep quiet. This whole thread seems to have been an attempt to bitch about people without having the balls to confront them face-to-face. The only time I won't name is if it will betray a confidence (of which I hold a few)- but in this case that isn't relevant.
I do ask for personal advice sometimes, but not under this screen-name. That isn't because I think the advice would be poor, more that GWST and I are part of the furniture now, and there isn't the anonymity that I'd otherwise have.
I don't care if people want to have a go at me, I think I can sit here fairly safe in the knowledge that I have contributed more to this website- and not just the boards- than many others. I just wish they would be more honest about it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems to consider this thread as very thinly-veiled dig at me, although not exclusively me.
If people feel that I'm not welcome here anymore then feel free to let me know, and if you're someone I respect I will listen. With regards to the Subway thread its interesting that most of the people I respect (Briggi, Heather, Abbie) agreed with me, at least in part- the only one who didn't was Skive.
SkyBoy, you're not the only one to be making thinly-veiled digs about specific users- Stacey- but you should know better by now.
P&D is a different kettle of fish to the rest of the website, especially as the average age in there is much higher (AFAIK Blagsta, Aladdin and MoK are all in their 30s). If you come in and spout ill-informed nonsense you'll be attacked for it, but if you can explain why you think something you won't.
I'd love to see some of these "offensive" posts referenced, just for my own amusement.
. :yes:
I didn't want to mention names for what I felt were obvious reasons - it turns into a big bitchfest then. But what am I to do? I told you in one thread I thought you were being rude, but you carry on doing it in other threads. You're not the only one, but you seemed to waltz into this thread and say 'it's me, it's me!'. I didn't want to make a dig at any particular user. I wanted to express my distaste at the posts that just attack people without offering advice.
It's fair to say that you may think it's just a load of rubbish, but as with any discussion there is people who think one thing and people who think another. Some people do think that some posts made on the forum are too arrogant, and too blunt, and may well put off new members. There are some that think otherwise, and I wanted to make a statement to them like I did in the first post that it was frustrating and annoying me. Why's it got to be a personal thing all the time?
What are these mythical posts? The only one I can think of that was inappropriate was g_angel telling alasia to have an abortion, and that was mostly borne out of frustration at her asking the same goddamn question every 20 minutes. Sweet Cheeks deserved all the abuse she got because she failed to heed polite requests to abide by the rules and etiquette of the community.
Whatever the point was, I hope you are now relaxing with a beer.
Cunt...whooooooooop a whooooop a waaaaaaaaaaaap!
Areet, a buckie or six fer ye, ye wee cunt
What are you wittering on about?
Either you join and abide by the rules and etiquette of the community, or you piss off. It's not too much to ask.
you have always been the same! its the rules according to kermit.you leap on any opportunity to belittle people....you always have!
i remember you saying that you thought you were getting too old for this place,that was 2 years ago........your still here bullying young people.it must give you a hard on!
I'm really not convinced by that. If you disagree with some people (Aladdin springs to mind) in P&D, then whatever you say and however well you explain your reasons you will get leapt on and your posts and opinions attacked viciously, even if it's not a 'personnal' attach by everyones definition.