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Leagues?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do people here think about the thought of someone being 'out of their league'? Do leagues really exist when it comes to relationships/hooking up?
Personally, I don't have a clue.
Ilora x
Personally, I don't have a clue.
Ilora x
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However, people look for themselves when wanting a partner. They want someone of similar intelligence, similar working background, similar bank balance. They want someone who looks like themselves. They want someone who acts like themselves. But not too similar- that's boring, and bad for the offspring.
You're not out of anyone's league, but lets be honest, if you're poor its unlikely you'll be what a rich person is after.
Some people are rejected more than others. What does this suggest? If there were no leagues, would the ugliest, obese nerd go out with the blonde supermodel? I really don't think so...
However, the above probably doesn't happen in reality as such. There comes a point when some people are so insecure that they imagine leagues, when they actually do have a chance. For example, I am a very insecure person, and have loads of troubles with females, but does this really put me in another league? If so, is it my insecurity's fault that I am in that league or my looks? According to me... (yes, I know ), there's nothing wrong with the way I look. I would prefer not to post a picture of myself though.
:chin: It's a tough topic... and I am still dubious.
Anyone care to correct what I've said?
If he was a nerd with no money and no social skills, then probably not.
The main reason why he wouldn't date the supermodel is because he'd never be in a position to meet the supermodel socially. And if he was, he wouldn't be in the same social or financial bracket. That's what I mean in my previous post.
But define "ugly". Rik Waller is ugly in many people's eyes, but he was slipping one to Anna Friel for quite some time.
Most people think looks are the be-all and end-all of dating, and they're not. That's why they don't have the same success.
Well, some say that looks are subjective, but are they really? I say yes, to a certain extent. There are people who are really ugly, and people who are less ugly, if you see what I mean.
I prefer to refrain from submitting any pictures.
Looks are subjective.
Who I think is an absolute munter is the sexiest girl in the room to you, and vice versa.
This I agree with, totally.
Now that was what I was looking for.
Person A: (S)he is soooo below me
Person B: (S)he is soooo above me
Of course not everyone believes it, but a lot of people do. Particularly the ones who are particularly stuck up (the 'upper' leagues) and those who are not very confident in their looks (the 'lower' leagues). It's all bullshit, but as long as people believe it the league thing will exist.
A guy I currently like is also someone who I sometimes kid myself into thinking he's above me, just because he has more money than me and his interests are in the likes of economics and politics (the subjects he studies at uni) and I feel belittled because my interests are in drama, music, dance and creativity, amongst other things...he feels above me because he speaks with more worldly knowledge then me and I feel less...bright!
I think people are prone to placing themselves above and below - for whatever reasons - mine show how attractiveness and intellect (whether his is actually superior is debateable) make me think that people are out of my league. To be honest, I don't think anyone is really - when I think it through! In my eyes, the only leagues are ones I define, things that make me feel below someone. I've never thought to myself 'I'm out of his league'.
Yes, people will only date people they find attractive- socially, physically and intellectually. In other news, bears shit in the woods.
What all these people who talk of leagues fail to take into account is that my idea of a Premier League standard woman is very different from yours. There is no such thing as objective beauty.
It's been generally proven that people fancy people who look similar to themselves, which is why quite often bride and groom have similar facial features. People date themselves.
kathryn, yes, the very same lardy warbler was having hot sex with the very same small pert beauty. Apparently she likes "big men". Alas, I'm married...poor girl, how will she cope?
Anyway on our main question, I think leagues do exist. There is a scientifically proven, physical ideal for both men and women, which applies to every race on earth. The closer someone is to this ideal, the more attractive they are to the opposite sex (I should know, I watched a programme on it:D). So purely on looks, there is such a thing as leagues. And this explains why, despite what anyone says, we can all point out a good-looking person and a not-so-good-looking person. But of course, certain people will have a predisposition to particular aspects of that ideal too,so we have 'types' that we go for. Which is why you can know someone is good-looking, but not find them attractive.
But that's only half the story. Things such as social status, intelligence and personality are also important. And of course different people will put emphasis on different things. Men will generally consider looks ahead of social status, for example, whereas women will usually be the opposite. Which explains why you get ugly men going out with attractive women, but very few ugly women going out with attractive men. And the ugly men will almost always be of a higher social status than the woman, for one reason or another (i.e. they're rich, famous or both).
So yeah, there is such a thing as leagues, but it applies to all aspects of a person, not just looks.
Of course, I see aesthetically mismatched couples all the time and it never occurs to me to think that one is out of the other's league, because there are so many factors on which relationships and attraction are based...and generally when people are talking about leagues it's about the looks. Though as IWS has said, if leagues take into account all aspects of a person/potential match then they most probably do exist in many circumstances.
I don't go for the league thingy, even if I do see attractive people and know that they'd not be interested.
OK, surmise rather than know.
But it's just the impression/instinct I get.
I'm with Briggi on this one. I can't see how someone can be out of your league, whether that is over or under you. Leagues are about placing people in somekind of ranking system based on their looks and popularity. I have never once gone for someone purely based on their looks or because they were popular with other people. I go for someone I like not someone others are telling me I should like in ways of some childish ranking system, what's the point otherwise? The whole point of a relationship is to be with someone YOU are attracted to and like personality wise
Then again there have been in my experience, plenty of girls that were were inside my league, in fact a friend of mine told me i was out of their league, but i liked them anyway. I couldnt get them though at all, personality was completely wrong and they didnt give me time of day. Other girls have been way too good looking for me...but i had no problem with them.
Relationships, casual sex, etc, its all weird like that.
Of course you don't go out with someone you don't fancy. A relationship without sexual attraction is just a friendship.
Yet I still haven't met me a tree-hugger.
you might find somebody better looking than you and think you've got no chance with them therefore you'd say they were out of your league.
that thing called personality
if you like someone who you think is out of your league and thye like you back then they obviously don't think they're out of your league.