If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
Go to a club and watch who gets all the attention on the dancefloor and who doesn't...beauty isn't entirely variable between people's perception.
But I've also been very shallow in the past and probably pushed a lot of girls who would have been great for me away because I've mainly been about girls with the good looks who people think wow about, but that was when I was younger and about 16, now I go off what I like , personality and looks.
I think everyone at some point will have ranked someone, looked at them and thought they were ugly and looked at someone else and thought they were good looking effectively ranking them and putting them in a league above or below them, no-one likes to admit doing it but I'm pretty sure a lot of people have done, it's human instict isn't it.
Anyway the important thing is to not just look at someone and rank them on how they look, it's about who they are and their personality and I guess that spark you feel everytime you meet them etc...
hmm way off on one now so I'll shut up
Why settle for somebody you find to be unatractive but who has a great personality when you could be with someone who is on par with your own looks but still has that same personality?
Ilora x
You, sir, are a cock. All you are saying is that leagues exist for you - some of us have the intelligence to put the person they are before the face they were born with.
Looks can have a part to play in the initial attraction - but the real attraction comes from getting to know the person inside.
Ok so you are saying you judge people by intelligence rather than looks which is fair enough once you have gotten to know a person and i totally agree, personality is much more important. The 'leagues system' or whatever you want to call it i would say is based on first impressions though is it not? you dont generally try to chat up people whom you find to be unattractive unless you think you dont stand a chance with better looking people - if this is the case then you are putting better looking people in a higher league than yourself by not talking to them.
Sorry, I was a tad harsh with you before. My general opinion is still the same, but it was directed at you and it shouldn't have been.
Straight or gay as well.
Alot of people are liek that. Some are purely and obviusoly driven by surface attractions i.e look, fashion, money etc
while most are conciosuly or subconciosuly driven by other factors but don't deviate too far from the surface ones.
pot luck who you find though I guess. To some it matters alot, to others not so much.
Because more guys will be interested in her than someone who was less attractive. Same thing would go for a girl whose very confident ... if she's a top girl and everyone wants to spend time with her then more guys will be interested in taking things further with her. She has more to choose from
I don't think leagues exist but some things, principally looks, do control intial attraction. I agree looks are subjective but at the same time there are people who are just very good looking and equally there are some people whose personalities that just shine through and within a minute of meeting them you can just see that they're cool and fun to spend time with ... they're going to get more interest in them so they have more people to choose from.
Some girls may have specific taste in guys - the way they look, dress, how confident they are etc - and you might not fit in with this taste in which case your unlikely to be able to get her. But that doesn't mean she, or her level of attractiveness, is out of your league.
I hate the whole idea of leauges, the idea that someone's better than you or your not good enough for them. Bollocks to that!
What im saying is I dont think the idea of leagues is complete bullshit but it can be overrode.
I've personally learned not to become overly fascinated by someone and giving it my all while getting nothing in return. In my opinion and experience emotion is an unnecessary obstacle. I've never had any success with it. I've also lost a fair amount of interest in others and a nice chunk of my libido, but too many things are far more important. There's also a pleasant feeling that lies with indifference.
No, I'm not saying that.
Every single person makes an assessment on whether someone is sexually attractive to them, or not. Of course you put people in "leagues", if that's what you're meaning. You don't fancy someone you consider to be ugly.
But when people talk of leagues they talk of objective standards of beauty, as if everyone shares them. They don't. Who I fancy is different to who you fancy. There are quite a few "sexy celebs" who, if they were doing a lesbian strip show in my back yard, would make me turn the telly up and shut the curtains. That's how life is.
Lots of people think Paris Hilton, for instance, is sex on a stick, but for me she's an utter dog.
Everyone is not sexually attractive to everyone. Of course not. But your idea of a minger is different from my idea of a minger.
I cant say that I understand. At first I thought you were arguing that there was no leagues but here you suggest that there are.
Just because your idea of a minger differs from somebody elses it doesn't mean there is no league of your own. Your always going to look at girls and tell yourself she either is or isn't in your league. It looks to me as though your contradicting your own statements.
They don't. Leagues don't exist in that respect. I am not in anyone's league, I am not out of anyone's league.
But of course I look at a woman and decide if she's sexually attractive or not. But I don't think I'm out of anyone's league- they'll either fancy me, or they won't. It's not that I'm ugly, it's that I'm not really fit in their eyes.
People talk of leagues as if everyone has the same idea of beauty. They don't. I'm top of the Premier League in my wife's eyes, but not in her sister's eyes. That's what I'm saying.
Could I pull Kate Moss? Who knows, I haven't tried. She might fancy my hot body, she might not. Kate Moss is only unattainable because she moves in a very high prestige social circle, to which we don't have access. She isn't objectively more beautiful than us mere mortals. I don't even think she's all that hot, tbh. Seen better in town.
I think leagues exist in people's heads but not in reality though. It just depends on whether the two people are compatible, ie, like each other, get on well etc.
do u actully understand what peopel are trying to say. nobody has mentioned that everybody has the same leagues everyone puts people into leagues its just everybody has different leagues thats all.
I agree with Kermit, those people are unattainable because of their status, socially you're never gonna meet them. I would not fancy orlando bloom if he walked into my local and to be totally honest I know loads of guys that wouldn't fancy kate moss if she worked in the corner shop.
Leagues exist because people let them, no-one is out of my league in terms of attractiveness and I would never think I was a league above anyone. To some people I'd be a total dog but to others I'd be the sexiest person in the world. Actractiveness is too personal to say that leagues exist, if you think you're out of someones league I'd say 9 times out of 10 the person wouldn't agree. xx
Tee hee
:banghead:
I would have to say that at that moment in time, it was the worst answer!!
I never get girls in my league. but I got twice girls out of my league (as in above), it's weird. I don't believe in it, in the sense of: Omg, I am not even trying she is out of my league.
Sometimes "a girl out of your league" was just waiting on you...
but i went to 6th form and came out of my shell- i still looked the same, but managed to snare myself a lurvely guy within a month, (and am still with him
its not objective by any means- i wasn't a total outcast! but there are cultural standards which most of us are used to, which is why lots of male "hot" celebrities are rugged and intense and lots of females are slender and ethereal; big noses and monobrows are not "hot", cheekbones and eyelashes are. not everyone values them equally, but we all appreciate them.
also, i believe that leagues in a different sense apply to other traits; i would be bored stiff with someone who was only interested in soap operas or cars (and this applies to platonic friendships too- i couldn't be friends with people if i couldn't have diverse conversations with them,) no matter how hot a guy is, if you cant talk, then what on earth will you do with your 'quality time' when you have your period?