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Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
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Do you think if it's higher, then there'd be less teenage pregnancys?
No.
There would be less teenage pregnancies in this country if sex education didn't suck. There would be less teenage pregnancies if sex was dealt with maturely- people do it, its fun, here's how to stay safe, but its best in a stable relationship.
There would be less teenage pregnancies in this country if young woman had something to look forward to. For many young girls the most they will ever achieve is to fly a till at Asda. Ambition is the best contraceptive there is.
People dance and drink and screw because there's nothing else to do.
Totally agreed here
Agreed here - this is why in last year or, I've said 'no' to at least people who have asked me for sex...
Of course there's a boundary, and there is a need for there to be a legal age of consent.
But it doesn't make having sex with someone aged 15 and a half immoral any more than it makes having sex aged 16 and a day moral. It's a purely arbritrary age- as shown by the fact it ranges wildily in other countries.
Everyone talks about how it's 'illegal' to have underage sex, yet no one does anything to stop it, and even condone it by shoving condoms into the hands of children and then say 'they're gonna do it anyway, lets help them to do it safely'.
By doing that you're not helping.
Children (aka people under 16) need educating. Not encouraging.
Educate them about the dangers of sex, the consequences, the emotional aspect of it, don't just shove contraception down their throats without guiding them first.
Yes, underage sex is generally socially accepted. Just not by me.
Ilora x
Far too many young girls have sex with their boyfriends due to a complete lack of self esteem and self respect. If self esteem was taught by parents and in schools, girls would say no more often. They'd learn that respect comes from having the confidence to say no to pressure, not shagging any guy that utters 'If you love me, you'd do it'.
All these girls are missing is basic health and sex education from parents and teachers alike.
Girls these days grow up in single parent families and copy what mum did - get preggers at 16, because that's all they know. Well, that's not good enough.
Ilora x
Out of interest can I ask why you feel that way?
Nonsense argument. For a start, the root problem of teenage pregnancy has fuck all to do with promiscuity. Condoms backed up with pill easily negate any chance of pregnancy. Most people are sensible enough to realise this and take the necessary precautions. The minority who don't are disproportionately from poor social backgrounds - socialised into an outlook with little ambition. So they get pregnant 'cuz there's fuck all else to do.
Evidently it's a social, not sexual problem.
Who teaches girls that opening your legs gets you love? Some immature girls just presume that's the case through ignorance of how the dynamics of attraction work. Girls like that are disrespected because it's seen as desperate. Girls who enjoy sex just for pleasure or as part of a relationship suffer no such problems.
Abstinence promotes disrespect because it's childish. To 15 year olds, what's 'adult' is what's cool - and that which is childish is the height of uncool. So abstinence isn't going to promote widespread respect for anyone.
So you moan about teenage pregnancies yet complain about distribution of condoms to teenagers? :rolleyes:
Completely agree. We were talking about this in Religious Ed at school, and because of the shit sex-ed in our countries, teens are out there thinking they know all, when they know nothing. Sex ed should be taught from a younger age, and all throughout secondary ed. In year 10 (4th form) our sex-ed classes were a huge joke. We were'nt mentally mature enough, at 14/15, and we just laughed at the plastic penis and put the diaghrams on our heads.
And I think that the way some states in the US teach abstinence is completely stupid. When you are ready for sex in a marriage as they teach, you would have no idea what you are doing as you havent been taught! Its ridiculous! You cant just go around popping out babies. You need to know about protection and STI's.
But the argument is, is that if we werent mature enough to take it seriously at 14/15, why are teens acting mature about it and having sex anyway? Is it the fact that we are around peers?
I think that underage sex is wrong at the ages of under 11, 12, 13 and in cases 14. I think someone (as mentioned above), at the age of 18 doing it with a 12 year old is REALLY wrong. But everyone is different. But at those ages, most people arent emotionally, mentally and physically prepared for sex. I didnt get my period till i was nearly 15, meaning my body wasnt ready for sex till then. So why can 11 year olds go and do it? I know you dont have to have your period to do it, but at 11, you just arent mature (generally speaking).
We have an ad in NZ about safe sex. And it was a huuuuuuuuuuuge joke.
It was a cartoon hip hop guy rapping "If you dont got the rubba there'll be no hubba hubba"
it was just a joke. But do you think thats going to stop people? No.
I think the main change that needs to happen is sex ed in schools, more often and from an earlier age.
Why is abstinence childish?
For the record, I don't think saying "don't ever have sex" constitutes a healthy and helpful education.
Do not miss understand my position, i do NOT think it is ok for some guy in his 30's to get together with a 15 year old and have sex. But i do not think a 15 year old girl and her 17 year old boyfriend should not have sex because the law says 16 is the age limit, when both feel ready and want to do it.
Peer pressure i know is a major thing and no one should feel pressured into sex. I look around at teenagers now when i walk through town to the shops and think, how young they all look, but also how provactively they dress and act. How they appear to want to get as much attention as possible. Then i remember me and my mates were the same, and all the girls we knew were also always out to get noticed too. So i guess nothing has changed really.
I completely agree on the point of teen pregnancies and the epidemic levels of sexually transmitted diseases sweeping around the country today. If sex education was better, taught younger, and more clear and less full of colourful euphamisms that are just confusing, things might be alot better.
Then again, i also think parents have a responsibility, remember that story from afew mnths back of a mother who had 3 daughters aged 16, 14 and 11 and all of them had babies of their own the mother of these girls let their boyfriends sleep in the house with her daughters. That is obviously the extreme example but still, parents should take an active role in sex education too.
In America, i saw that a girl who went to Abstinance classes at school, believed condoms didnt work, because they were tool of the corporations that were designed to rip and would not keep you getting pregnant. So she had been taught this in school by an abstinance teacher and so was taking this pledge. She actually believed it and refused to accept any evidence to the contrary, she was practically brainwashed to believe. I just hope that type of thinking doesnt come to the UK.
What do you mean by "underage" sex though?
Do you hate English 15-year-olds having sex, but not mind Dutch 15-year-olds having sex?
So you're going to promote safer sex by not handing out condoms?
People will have sex when they feel ready to have it. I wasn't ready till I was 18, people I know were ready when they were 14 and 15. So what?
As Spliffie says, people get pregnant young because they have nothing else to look forward to. When you know your life's achievements will be nothing more than being a till supervisor at Morrisons, then having a family seems to have more appeal. The reason why most teenagers who have children are from poor backgrounds is because they don't have anything to lose by having children- they weren't going to get 62 a'levels, a degree, and a top role at PwC anyway. Similarly, a lot of teenage abortions are from girls in the middle classes, who do have something to lose by having a child aged 16.
I honestly don't understand the argument that its bad because its illegal. It's illegal to have sex in some countries until you are 18 or even 21, does that mean they are bad for doing something I did when I was 18? In other countries you can have sex aged 14, does that mean that its OK to have sex with those 14-year-olds?
There are limits to morality, I wouldn't say 12-year-olds should be having sex. But the age of consent is the legal equivalent of sticking a dart in a sheet of paper, the age is completely abritrary. If you don't believe me, look at how the age of consent for homosexual sex has come down. Are you saying that five years ago it was evil for a 17-year-old boy to have sex with his boyfriend, but now it isn't?
And?
They were going to do it anyway.
As the woman said, they could either do it at home, in the warmth and safety of their bedroom. Or they could do it on the rec or at a bus stop.
I think the woman was right to ensure her daughters were safe. It's a shame they weren't encouraged to use contraception, but hey.
An emotive issue.
In respect to the original post, I think that society does hate the underage sex thats going on and the people that do it.
Every time a a girl under 16 is has a baby or abortion and it gets in the news, there is always an outcry. The media condemn, and the adult classes that make up the majority of this country condemn as well. They have special drama's on the subject and news pieces exploring the whole thing.
And the complete overeaction the media has to pedophilia is a sort of back up to this.
However I think it is increasingly normal for underage sex to be going on and always has been.
How many people on this site said they lost their virginity under the age of 16? Lots.
Talking to various peope they admit they hav had or know plenty of people having sex underage.
However it can't be a modern conception, as its rooted in the oldest of stories such as romeo & juliet and king arthur.
The age of consent is interesting. The media and peole speak with disgust about how an 11yr girl was having sex with a guy, and the guy is an evil mad for doing it and that may be so but I have heard/read at least a few cases where the girl was willingly having sex at the age of 11, and I don't doubt their sincerity in what they say.
I certainly don't think 14 and 15 can be seen as children as you see plenty out there looking and acting more maturely and its often this age group that are having sex.
I think in some areas, underage sex is done simply because its expected and their is peer pressure.
I wouldn't say its normal though, for a 13 year old to be having sex.
Sex education in this country does need improving.
I think the teaching thats going on in America is criminal with their lies and linking it all to religion and such.
Although you have to admit, that techinally abstiance is the only way not to get pregnant or an std BUT teaching abstinacne how they are and in practice often leads to teens having sex, often without protection and such so that can't be the answer compeltely.
Children should be educated BEFORE receiving condoms. It's like giving a teenager a car, without them knowing how to drive it.
I believe children are missing out on the most basic of education.
They need to know about morality, and ethics and emotional stability looong before they start sexual relationships. That's where I think education is seriously lacking and why there are so many teenage pregnancies.
I also agree with Kermit and how little there is to acheive if you're not lucky enough to live in an area with opportunity round every corner.
But, it's also said that children are growing up with no ambition, because they've not been taught to be ambitious. Schools cater for the masses, not the individual and therefore stamp out any individual ambition a child might have. It's ridiculous.
The whole of the education system needs shaking up. What do kids learn at school these days? How a volcano errupts and how to speak a foreign language - when they haven't a clue what a 'spatula' is or how to look after themselves.
It begs the question 'what should schools be teaching children?'.
Ilora x
Care to explain why you think theres any difference between these ages?
at 14 and 15 you have grown up a lot, but admittedly not all the way.
Physically you look more mature, you act more mature, you are more mature.
Back in the day, people could get married at 14 and 15, and not just to teens their own age. Often girls would marry guys in their 30's, 40's or later.
No I'm not saying that a 14 year old doing a 30 year old is right exactly at all. I mean there has to be some limit on ages with concernes to pedophila. But guys in theri 20's, early twenties often I have hfound, to hav ebeen with girls 14, 15, 16 etc. So thats not so unusual.
I think a girl at 13 havijng se isnt the norm.
I mean 14 an d515 year olds, by sheer number I think now it has otbe accpeted that sex at that age has become the norm. I still think 13 is a bit too young.
I meant to say aswell, a guy doing a 12 year old wasn't cautione dor anything?? Wow, I am surprised.
it it not, its nothing like that. if they didnt have the car they wouldnt have anything to drive and therefore no danger.
Children without condoms would proberly have sex anyway. Giving out condoms can not do any harm.
So at 13 years and 11 months, you are so much more different from a 14 year old in terms of maturity? :rolleyes:
the site boards paedo defender, as well as boards pervert.
thats all a bit vague, people mature at different ages, which is why people break the underage sex law.
I think yiu can have leaps in matureity, look and soo on. I reckont here is a big difference between a 13 year oild and a 14 year old, even if it doesnt appear that way on paper.
Sex education should be better, but that won't happen whilst we have the attitude that underage sex is immoral.
If a teenager is only going to be lectured at for being immoral, they will just leave the system, and not get any help.
Whose morality?
Morality is not an objective goal.
As for education, kids are taught to pass exams because everyone has decided that an exam is the only way to decide if someone is bright.
Don't nit-pick.
I know what he's saying. 13 and one day isn't as mature as someone who's 14 and a day, who isn't as mature as someone who is 15 and a day. And so on.
People mature very quickly in their teens.
If someone feels happy to have sex then there's nowt wrong with it.
Thats crap though. You can have 13 year olds that are more mature than 14 year olds.
Yep. And?
It's not crap, it's a generalisation that holds true in most cases.
And thats all i was trying to say in my original post.
Walkindude is trying to make out its bad if your 13, but not when your 14. I dont see much difference myself.
It can equally be as bad doing it at 14 or 15, as 13, especialy if they are not ready.
But what I am saying is that, I belive there are more 14 and 15 years old doing it, then 13 year olds and what is expected anyway, so in that sense it is more acceptable especially with the increased maturity and looks.