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What applies to you doesn't apply to other people. It's up to the parents to provide an environment where their children can feel confident enough to approach them about things, not the other way round by the children having to 'notify' them.
i just asked would anyone want their teenager getting pregnant and having an abortion without their knowledge?
That's hardly the fault of the people who are agreeing with each other. If someone, who feels that it's not abhorrent that a child must notify their paretns, regardless of the situation and circumstances, against their right to confidentiality, then they can come and argue their point, by all means.
I'd rather my pregnant teen did that if that was what they wanted. I wouldn't want them feel that they were forced to tell me. I'd rather they had a right to confidentiality and access to safe, legal abortion rather than being driven under the surface.
I once had a petrified 17 year old ringing me up at work, asking if I knew ways she could abort i.e. herbs etc she could take because she was too frightened to tell her parents, as they were pro-life and wouldn't allow her to abort (how they'd do that, I dread to think).
i know mine wouldn't
Either way, children shouldn't be obliged to tell their parents anything like this, nor should health professionals taking care of them.
so im guessing it'll be similar for getting pregnant young too
he told me if any boyfriend/partner of mine hit me, he would literally put him in his place (his step dad used to beat him and my grandma)
and he means that, even mum said so
and he means it when he says we'd be on our own if we got into drugs
i dunno about pregnancy, i know if by any unfortunate chance i got pregnant too young, i'd have an abortion
Young Moslem girls can, and often do, get murdered for having a boyfriend of the wrong colour or faith. What would happen to them if their pregnancy was to become public knowledge?
I appreciate the argument that parents want to know, and I do have sympathy with it. But the reasons why they want to know are exactly the reasons why they shouldn't know- it isn't their body, it isn't their choice, and some parents cannot be trusted with the knowledge.
Those parents who can be trusted with the knowledge usually get told by their children. Those who can't, don't. The choice should rest with the child. They should be encouraged to tell those close to them, but that doesn't necessarily mean parents, and children should not be legally usurped.
Lets go back to the Moslem girl fearful of an "honour killing"- however accurate or otherwise that fear may be. If her abortion is confidential then she can do it safely. If that abortion is not confidential then she will find another way- she will go to a doctor who will be confidential, and there is no guarantee of safety or competence.
The reason why the abortion law was changed in 1968 was because of women dying in backstreet rooms after Mr Nobody had given them an abortion with a coat-hanger. The same reasons then apply today.
Ballerina, I understand your view, but you have to ask one question: is the parental "right" to know worth the lives of young girls?
if my under agedaughtr had to have an abortin without me knowing it woulkd say in bug letters ...rolly you faled as a parent nig style.
I just hope it would spell a bit better;)
But that's exactly the point. Parents who can be trusted will be trusted; those who can't, won't.
This woman has just decided that she cannot be trusted, and so she never will be.
A lot would, because a lot did in the 1950s and 1960s.
Or they carried the baby to term, went to a "young mothers home", and abandoned the baby there.
For all the people who moan about the dangers of abortion, nobody seems to mention the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth.
Why?
If your parents will chuck you out- or worse, kill you for bringing "shame" on their family- for being pregnant, you can't carry the baby to term. You can't have an abortion legally, because your parents will find out. What will you do?
A lot of girls won't have backing from their families. To think otherwise is naive.
The situation is no different now than it was 50 years ago.
You either leave it to the parents or you don't. You can't have it both ways.
I've not said we own them - but we ARE legally responsible for them. It's my job to decide what I think is best for my daughter. I might get it wrong sometimes - but she's still my daughter and my responsibility.
Simple as.
I understood fully what you said, I think you are very naive if you think that some agency will make things magically better. Things are better, but that's mostly because women can have anonymous abortions.
Remove the right to anonymous abortions and things will quickly regress.
Take my example. She can't carry to term or she'll be found out, she can't terminate or she'll be found out. How will social services help?
If my daughter is going to go through a major medical operation then it is my right to know about it. Seems like it's all too easy to get the parents involved when the kids get in trouble (courts thinking of fining parents for their kids' troubles) but when it suits society, responsibility is swiftly taken from us.
My daughter, my responsibilty.
'Simple as'.
You should read a little bit about the Gillick principle.
I'm sure I understand. I'm not saying I'd deny my daughter the operation - I'm saying I am NOT having her go through that sort of thing without my love and support. As a parent society puts a lot of responsibilty on my to look after her, and I welcome it. I'm a single father and there's no way I'm having people restricting my rights any more than they already are.
I like to think I'm my daughter's friend too. I want to be there for her if she ever has to go through this.
ps A lot of the time it isn't an "operation", it's a set of tablets.
Have you read up on the Gillick case yet?
The point is that many parents are not as nice and understanding as they ought to be and their kids wouldn't tell them if they were pregnant etc for very good reason and it is these that need protecting.
If you have a good relationship with your kid and what have you then the law doesn't really matter does it?
And for parents who will kick their kids out of the home or worse, do we accept that is their responsibility and let them get on with it?
I believe it does - things are fine for me and her at the moment (well, as good as they can be) and I don't want "do-gooders" (profound apologies for using that cheap expression, usually I hate it but it's all I can think of at the moment) imposing their beliefs on me which is likely to cause friction in my family.
She can come to me when she has problems and troubles - I don't want someone upsetting the applecart. Should she be faced with the horrible prospect of wanting a termination then I don't think she'd think rationally and may not be aware of how supportive I'd be. The law was fine as it was.
That is why it is paramount the law stays as it is. To protect the tens of thousands of girls who would find themselves in such situation.