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Out of interest what did you think of that suggestion?
know how to chuck it back, don't you.
'really good things' don't happen. little, insignificant nice things do. stop expecting too much.
ffs. whether they appreciate it or not, it's doing something for YOU, making you feel like you have helped and made a contribution to people's lives. If you go into a special school for disabled children they will not be horrible to you, they are just little kids. and even if they were, what would the words of 5 year olds matter?
Objectively, yeah, you're right, life has no point. You grow old, shit your pants, lose your marbles and die. No point there, is there.
Excuse me if I sound like a character from About a Boy, but there's only one person who can give life a point, and that's you. Life has lots of points, and is worth living every minute of it, if you are prepared to give it a go.
It has lots of little points to look forward to- how will the Bantams lose next Saturday, how will Dr Who save the world next series, just how angry will Alex Ferguson get before his head blows off? It has lots of big things to look forward to- what will my wife look like, what will sex be like with her, what will my kids be like, what will it be like to be old and retired, how will my grandkids act?
But all of those things only mean something if you want them to.
If you want to mope in your room and whinge about how the world hates you, then fine, go ahead. Strangers won't care, it's your life and it's your problem. It's not my problem. I won't be depressed if you don't take the advice.
Does that sound harsh? No, that's what life is. If you don't grab it by the balls and live it then what have you got? Nothing. People who know you will miss you, but nobody on here will cry if you don't take their advice. It's not them that will suffer, it's you.
Point is, lots of good things happen, you just ignore them because it doesn't fit in with what you want to feel and expect to feel. I could say you were brilliant, and you wouldn't believe me. But that's nobody's problem but your own.
Other people won't save you. Only you can save you. The sooner you come to terms with that, and do something about it, is the sooner you realise that life is worth living, because it is a wonderful thing, and it is the only thing you will ever have. You're a long time dead.
People will help you if you let them. But that choice is completely yours.
I'd suggest listening to him, as well. He's right, for a start. He knows what he's talking about.
But you probably won't, and I didn't mean that to sound bitchy, but you do seem like you WANT to be depressed so people feel sorry for you. I don't blame you, I've been guilty of feeling the same way, but people won't feel sorry for you, they'll just get annoyed, as you have seen.
Its like im in the Truman show at times, theres all these obstacles people keep creating for me. People keep getting in my way and pulling me back so i cant reach to edge of the world and see that its a dome painted with a blue sky on it. My mum having a go at me every time i get an interview cos its not down the street, my boss not letting me work from home, INTERVIEWERS telling me im too bloody good for their crappy job!
I better get this job or i duno what im gona do
If you want to move jobs, then move jobs. If you don't, then don't. But stop prevaricating and then whingeing that your career is going nowhere.
If you want to move houses, then do. You're a big boy now, you don't need to do what mummy tells you all the time.
If all the interviewers are saying you're too good for the jobs you're applying for, then apply for better ones. Have some bloody balls and apply for a decent job.
Here's a newsflash for you buddy: the world, and everyone in it, owes you jack shit. You deserve nothing- I don't mean that you are scum who should be kicked down some stairs, I mean that simply being you does not mean you are entitled to friends and lovers and a happy fluffy life. You don't deserve to win the jackpot simply because you buy a ticket. Being alive is all that is- buying a ticket in the lottery.
The world doesn't owe you a living, pretty girls don't owe you sex, and you don't deserve a girlfriend and friends simply because you're you. Nobody owes you anything, and until you stop whingeing and realise that, then you will not have anything.
Pull your finger out and get it sorted.
Oh, and quit with the emotional blackmail. I'll give you some free advice: chicks don't dig being manipulated into doing things.
yeah, that is good. so be proud of yourself for getting it and be positive about it. you know you're more than capable of getting the job so keep thinking that and you'll do fine.
ignore her. you know it's what you want to do, so go ahead and do it. don't let other people stop you doing what you want to. you won't get anywhere if you do.
yeah, but it seems like you create them for yourself when you really don't need to. like i said, it doesnt matter what other people think or do,what matters it what you want to do so stop worrying so much about other people. be happy with yourself and other people will be happy with you.
you'll apply for more jobs. you won't let it get to you. you'll be positive and keep at making your life better. which can be done if you stop letting what other people say get to you and stop being so down on yourself. it can be done but it has to start with you. only you can change things for yourself.
Hang on, let me click my fingers *click* yes i now have a job earning a million pounds a year. Wow what an easy thing to do. thanks for the advice that really did the trick.
Its not as easy to think and do you think im applying for crappy jobs? No im applying for jobs i want to do and know i can do. Its not my fault if an interviewer says im too good now is it, its not something i have any control over. Interviewers want someone that can do their job normally, not someone who isnt good enough but may be able to do it given time. Im trying my hardest here, you make it sound like as if im just sitting here expecting someone to give me a job, at least im looking for work, but you just make me sound like as if i sit here doing nothing. Im at LEAST trying to do things but ur messages just make me feel worthless like im actually not doing anything.
Kat_B's reply was much nicer and i really appreciate that, cos at least she appreciates im trying to do stuff, all i was saying it seems that other people keep getting in my way and trying their hardest to stop me achieving what i want to achieve. and im not saying anyone owes me anything, its just when holding a door open for someone it'd be nice if they said thank you. Do you see what i mean? In an ideal world at least. *awaits posts about how this isnt an ideal world*
And if you dont like my moaning, or anyone elses for that matter, why post on a forum like this? Dont bother answering that, it was a retorical question.
It's way too easy to forget the positives and focus on the negatives when you get into a certain frame of mind ... OK maybe you don't think about the good stuff that happens cos youre thinking about the person that shut the door in ure face earlier or something. Making the assumption that they did 'this' for 'that' reason doesn't help things, and its likely that you will never know so don't dwell on things as much (I know it can be hard but try :P).
You're keeping yourself down by thinking like that so try and be a bit more positive
I used to be like you. Depressed, wanted to die etc etc. But I don't anymore. Someone far wiser than I could ever hope to be said that "happiness is just a decision to let go of unhappiness". Shit isn't going to change unless you want it to change.
I know that it's easy to get bogged down in feeling crappy. Paradoxically, feeling like crap can be comforting. But it just hurts you i the long run. Going by what people have said, your only topic of conversation is how crappy your life is. Are you really that shocked that people don't want to talk to you? Having someone go on and on about stuff like that is incredibly wearying. So maybe that's the first step forward. Ask people about their lives, take the focus off yourself for awhile. Nobody will be able to see your good qualities if you obscure them with self-pity.
I'd bet good money that if you started to focus on other people they'd want to spend time with you.
I'm better than I was. I'm still "fixing" myself as it were, but I have friends. Good friends. But it took a bit of work. You have to be brutal about yourself.
p.s If you make any excuses as to why you can't get friends etc, I'm sending Franki around to hoof you in the balls.
ETA: I should proof read before I post.........
Listen to this guy. He knows his shit. Stop making excuses for yourself, and just get on with it. I used to do that. Maybe not to the same extent but "oh, I'm really tired, I can't do my work because it will be terrible and my teacher would rather it be good, even if it's late". The world isn't going to help you out. You can't just sit back and wait for it. You have to just get on with it. Stop caring what other people say about you and just get on with your life. The day I stopped caring what other people thought of me was the day I gave myself a hell of a lot more confidence. The day I said to myself "I don't give a shit who knows what about me, cause if they judge me on that before they know me, then they aren't worth being friends with" was the day I started being able to open up a bit more, rather than hiding everything and being a little social recluse all the time. I've helped myself, now you do the fucking same thing.
And what Andy said is right, if you start making more excuses I'll kick you in the fucking bollocks to make you wake up to what's going on around you and what people are saying to you.
You don't want her foot anywhere near your bollocks. She wears mighty big boots.
I suspect that they are the same thing.
People who think they are useless grossly underestimate their abilities, and therefore apply for jobs way below their talent level.
Proven fact.
#
You see, this is what I thought you'd do.
I'm saying something that I think, and you think I'm having a go, trying to put you down, blahblahblah. I'm not. There's no point, you just want to think that I am so you can ignore what I say.
I don't think I'm some sage who's always right, because I aren't. But I'll say this for nothing: I'm not clueless, and I'm not nasty about this. I've got more experience of this sort of shite than quite a few on here, and I think that a few home truths is normally the thing a person needs to hear.
You want everyone to feel sorry for you and give you sympathy. It's what you want, but it isn't what you need.
You *are* moaning and expecting everything to be done for you, you're saying as much. None of this is your fault and your responsibility, and it's about time you woke up and smelled the coffee: this IS your responsibility. It's not your mum's responsibility, it's not the employer's responsibility, it's yours.
Until you realise that it is your problem nothing much will change. Simple fact. It's not anybody else's.
Instead of blaming everyone else for "getting in your way", you need to have a long hard look at yourself and see what you can change. Because it is all down to you, and you alone.
No more of this bleating about "but I'm trying!", work out what you're doing wrong. Because if you are letting everyone get in your way then you are doing it wrong. If nobody will give you a job then you are not interviewing well, or you are applying for the wrong jobs.
Life isn't complicated, and whilst you can't change everything or be lucky all the time, there is one thing you should always consider. "It's amazing how the more I practise the luckier I get".
Intentional or otherwise that made me laugh.
Hmm, well, what would you prefer him to say? What response do you want exactly? What, specifically, can anyone say in this thread that won't result in you turning it round and using it as an example of how bad things are?
If you're now sitting there thinking that there is nothing anyone can say that you won't use to point out how bad things are, then maybe that means that you need to look a little more positively on some things?
That's right. Sometimes getting a job isn't easy. And do you know why that is? It's because not everyone is cut out for every single job. That's why we have an interview process to determine how people would fit in in a certain work situation.
Tell me, when you go to an interview, how do you see it? Do you see it as the potential employer judging you to see if you are right for the job? If you do, you're wasting your time.
Frankly, if you want to get a good job, you need to go into that room *knowing* that you can do it and that you're the right person for the job. The entire point of the interview is to see if the job is going to be right for *you*.
Maybe you're thinking now that that sounds really big-headed, and that I must be some kind of really arrogant fuck who just waltzes into anything he wants in life. But, no, I'm not, I've just learnt how to play certain small parts of the game of life. That's what you need to start doing. It isn't easy because it's not meant to be.
Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. If it's "not your fault" then you're admitting that it's a situation completely beyond your control, in which case why does it grate on you so much? Just move on.
There you go then. Lie back and let it all wash over you if that's what you think. No point moaning about it is there?
Actually, as an interviewer, I would want someone who can fit in with the other members of the team, is able to communicate well during the interview process, and who comes across as pleasant. It would probably help if they dress suitably and don't smell like they've spent last night sleeping in a garbage truck. Then I'd do a vague test to make sure that he cuts the grade on knowing what's what in the job.
Good on you for that. Lots of people don't bother trying and sit on their fat arses soaking up doll money. However, the fact that you're trying doesn't automatically entitle you to your dream job. It takes time and effort, like most good things.
Why do they do that?
How do you like my reply? Is it "nice" enough for you? Why do you have this expectation that everyone should be nice to you?
There's 6,446,131,400 people in the world. Most of them are different to one another. Whatever possibly makes you believe that all of them are going to like you and be nice to you? Let's be generous and say that 50% of those people "like" you as a default. That means that there's still 3,223,065,700 people in the world who will range on a scale of disliking to detesting you. If you've met, say, 5000 people in your life so far, then, statistically, all of them could hate you. (Now, gee, that would be fairly unlucky, I admit, but on the plus side there's still another 3 billion (us billion) people you could meet who do like you.) But the point is that nowhere is it written that people must like you, be nice to you, or even tolerate your presence in the same room as them.
Boo-hoo. I was thinking that when I was stuck in a queue of traffic last night trying to get home from work and really needing a piss. I was thinking "fuck, I wish these people weren't in my way". But you know what, eventually we moved forward and I got home and I could go to the loo. Things just take a while. And those people weren't all deliberately trying to stop me going for a piss, they were just making their own way home, just like me. Hell, they may all have needed the loo as well.
Of course it would be nice. But, see my comments above about niceness. And really, just because they don't say thanks what difference does that make to you? Do you feel less inclined to hold a door open next time, or do you hold it open because you're a nice person who doesn't actually do everything in life for the praise of someone else?
Answered your own point there I think.
People post on here to try to help.
Was it?
You need to seek professional help and support and I know you have said that you have no confidence to do that, but again this is just another excuse as to why you can't help yourself. It is sometimes easier to not bother helping ourselves, but at the end of the day there is a point where we all have to start helping ourselves or simply go away from this life. You have a choice. You can choose to help yourself or you can choose to not help yourself. But the thing is, it will have to be your choice. You control you, no one else can do that and you are the only person in this world that you will ever have control over. There isn't really much more advice that people can offer you so it really is up to you now.
u know what, what do u do in your spare time, DO SUMTHIN, man, anyone feels deppresed, frinkin lucky u aint felt my depresion, but there is a bright side to everything, EVERYthING!!!!
hate to smack this on yall, but u need some religion, dont mattter what religion, just find ur meaning, cause its there u know it, thats why u dont hurt ur self!!
somethin funny i saw, a psycologist said u should slightly believe in God, cause just incase their is a more likely posibility there is a God, an just in case u go to hell, do a little prayer. lol
Firstly, refrain from the text talk. Please.
Secondly, you can't just say to people, "you need some religion". Not everybody believes or wants to believe.
What you said about him doing something in his spare time is a good idea however. To the original poster, maybe get a hobby (good way of meeting people) or something similar? Like, maybe join a club (sport/particular interest you have). It can really boost your confidence.
*sigh*
Whats the point in me being alive, right now i have no point, no one cares, no one notices, no one helps, nothing i want happens, nothing i do works, nothing
Maybe im cursed, i dont know what it is but it sure feels as if someone is trying alwfully hard to make me feel the way i do now
That's not a great example tbh. Since the vast majority of the country can't get one of these, I don't think this is a very good way to see if you are fortunate person or not.
Like many have said before me, there are things which go right for you whether you refuse to see them or not. You have a job, live in a house, have food on the table and running water, right? There's four things for a start. Don't sniff at those things and say they don't count. There are a great many people in the world who don't have those things.