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Removing children because...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    klintock wrote:
    I don't know...yet. You aren't even asking the question. Yet.

    When you work in schools you become aware that difficult children who don't value their education often have difficult parents who didn't value theirs and have been in poorly paid employment, or jobseekers since. These are the parents that are likely to blame the school for any less than desirable behaviour and are unwilling to put them time and effort into helping their children with their work at home. I think that suggesting they're willing to be re-educated as parents is very naive as they have a very negative reaction towards the education system and in a number of cases would refuse help. It's wonderful that you have these ideals, what you don't have is any sense of practicality.
    turlough wrote:
    Most poor people also live in council estates, if you lived in one you would know that your average day isn't spent doing 4 hours revision to becoming the next top lawyer, you're more likely to be out joyriding or smoking spliffs...I think the problems are circular, they make each other worse.

    For several years of my life I did live on a council estate. Whilst such surrounds and hardships might promote negative social behaviours they by no means force it. With parenting of a high standard and individual motivation it's very possible to go on and achieve a great deal. If parents fail to provide for their children then perhaps it's the most humane action to provide a better environment and parenting for the children. If you can't encourage the existing area or parents to change for the better then what's your next option?
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Clarification is here given.

    The PRIMARY REASON given for the separation is because of the financial situation.

    NOT because they are unloved, abused, or neglected.

    Sorry, I know it's the mail, but this is a comment on the other story i was thinking of. [URL=]Source[/URL]

    Is that the article you referred to in your first post? Here it seems the children have been removed because the mother was considered mentally incapable. As the case is presented it seems unduly harsh and upsetting, however, given the vitriol shown towards the institution in general and the biased reporting offered by the Mail I think you need a secondary source to gain and informed perspective and judge it yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you work in schools you become aware that difficult children who don't value their education often have difficult parents who didn't value theirs and have been in poorly paid employment, or jobseekers since.

    Two obvious solutions come to mind for those "problems".
    These are the parents that are likely to blame the school for any less than desirable behaviour and are unwilling to put them time and effort into helping their children with their work at home

    I am also one of those. If the child misbehaves at school, it is the schools fault, obviously. It's a prison for small people.
    I think that suggesting they're willing to be re-educated as parents is very naive as they have a very negative reaction towards the education system and in a number of cases would refuse help.

    There would be a way for each individual to be convinced. There always is. You just don't know what it is...yet. Nothing you are saying negates any of the points I raised, btw. You are just offering excuses why things are as they are, which is a great way to achieve fuck all.
    It's wonderful that you have these ideals, what you don't have is any sense of practicality.

    I am only practical, only realistic. They aren't ideals. idealism is when you see a world that doesn't exist yet and wish for it. I have given you the brief outline of a plan to get somewhere you want to go, which is pragmatism. Your "pratical" approach is to give up before you start. >sigh<
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm. My bf and his three siblings were separated from his parents about 5 years ago due to the family's lack of money. However, his dads physically abusive, his mums addicted to alcohol and drugs, he was having to care for his little brother and sister instead of going to school, and they were said to be malnourished.
    In that case, yes, it was the best thing for the kids. However, the kids were split into two pairs, so he lives with his 15 yr old sister in a foster home, but only gets to see his younger sister and brother once a year because they've been adopted, which is tough on him. The parents only get to see him and the 15 yr old.

    His parents are still broke - they don't even have a place of their own, they move from mates house to mates house. My bf even had to give them £1500, which he had saved for the past year for his first car, because the friend they were living with owed someone a lot of money, and they were going to be homeless once again. He's not going to get that money back. I can't explain how much I detest his parents for what they have done to him. They constantly take but never give. He's always willing to help them out (well, they're his parents, and bloods thicker than water), but then his mother stabs him with an aerial, or his uncle gives him a black eye, etc etc. :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    klintock wrote:
    I am also one of those. If the child misbehaves at school, it is the schools fault, obviously. It's a prison for small people.

    Now Klintock, please put down the crack pipe.
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    Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Now Klintock, please put down the crack pipe.

    Like that'll ever happen.

    If a child misbehaves at school, it is the child fault. Punish the child. Duh. Logic here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    Is that the article you referred to in your first post? Here it seems the children have been removed because the mother was considered mentally incapable. As the case is presented it seems unduly harsh and upsetting, however, given the vitriol shown towards the institution in general and the biased reporting offered by the Mail I think you need a secondary source to gain and informed perspective and judge it yourself.

    It was one of the articles, and obviously not the one that causes me particular concern, although I hardly see why a mother that was slow is reason to remove her children from her if she is capable of looking after them.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    In school, the kids who always played up and underachieved were from very working class families

    Also, as I've said before... When you go out on council estates you see kids running around in environments where there's smashed glass on the roads, derilict flats, a lot of drugs users and boy racers going around. That's not safe at all.

    So not only do you think that lack of money is good reason to split kids and their parents up, you think that where they live is a good enough reason too?
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's not reason enough to separate a family, but I think it's a reasonable issue with society that it needs addressing. MoonRat is right, it's not safe.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    MoonRat is right, it's not safe.

    Not as safe as it could be no.
    But if I lived on one of these estates I wouldn't keep my kids locked up either.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nor should you. Kids should be kids.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i thought you all might be interested in an alternative view on the original case being talked about here
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i thought you all might be interested in an alternative view on the original case being talked about here

    I like you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are all basically arguing about nothing. The case in question has been reported in a very skewed way (unsurprising considering where it's appearing).

    Taking a child away from parents is always the last resort and a child would never be removed due to lack of money. That's why benefits exist such as child benefit and child tax credit. However, an incapable parent may not use that money to buy things the child needs. Lack of money may be PART of the problem but it is never the sole problem, as you can see from the example above.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PussyKatty wrote:
    You are all basically arguing about nothing. The case in question has been reported in a very skewed way (unsurprising considering where it's appearing).

    Taking a child away from parents is always the last resort and a child would never be removed due to lack of money. That's why benefits exist such as child benefit and child tax credit. However, an incapable parent may not use that money to buy things the child needs. Lack of money may be PART of the problem but it is never the sole problem, as you can see from the example above.

    Agreed. I think poverty can be a cause of some other problems but a symptom of others. I also think we should trust social services. Anyone I know who's had contact with them has always found them to be very helpful and reasonable, even those accused of wrongdoing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i thought you all might be interested in an alternative view on the original case being talked about here
    Dude, I've been searching for that story in another paper for ages.

    Still, even though it's not my primary concern, nor the primary reason for the thread. I'd probably threaten someone with pain if they tried to take my kids away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    For several years of my life I did live on a council estate. Whilst such surrounds and hardships might promote negative social behaviours they by no means force it. With parenting of a high standard and individual motivation it's very possible to go on and achieve a great deal. If parents fail to provide for their children then perhaps it's the most humane action to provide a better environment and parenting for the children. If you can't encourage the existing area or parents to change for the better then what's your next option?

    Is personal achievement greater than a mother or fathers love?

    If yes, then you are a tory twat!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Is personal achievement greater than a mother or fathers love?

    If yes, then you are a tory twat!

    For your information I live in the country's longest held Labour seat and vote Liberal! :cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    For your information I live in the country's longest held Labour seat and vote Liberal! :cool:

    Cool...so you'll agree that parental love means more than personal achievement and it doesn't matter how rich or smart the parents are...yes?

    I mean who says we have to be high flying business men, most of my mates are joiners, brickies etc etc They're happy, that's all that matters imo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Cool...so you'll agree that parental love means more than personal achievement and it doesn't matter how rich or smart the parents are...yes?

    I mean who says we have to be high flying business men, most of my mates are joiners, brickies etc etc They're happy, that's all that matters imo.

    I agree, to a point. I think children should be removed from only truly incompetant parents or from situations in which they are likely to be harmed, become prospectless or criminal.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I'd probably threaten someone with pain if they tried to take my kids away.

    :yes:
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    I think children should be removed from only truly incompetant parents or from situations in which they are likely to be harmed, become prospectless or criminal.

    I agree wholeheartedly but where does money and intellect come into this?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    I agree wholeheartedly but where does money and intellect come into this?

    People who refuse to reform their actions or can't understand what is asked of them when social services come for a chat are too stupid to keep them. People who don't provide for their kids because they refuse to seek employment and/or mispend their money and benefit so that their kids aren't adequately cared for.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    People who refuse to reform their actions or can't understand what is asked of them when social services come for a chat are too stupid to keep them. People who don't provide for their kids because they refuse to seek employment and/or mispend their money and benefit so that their kids aren't adequately cared for.

    But is that reflective of all poor and "stupid" families. Do rich people not neglect their kids aswell?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    But is that reflective of all poor and "stupid" families. Do rich people not neglect their kids aswell?

    Of course they do but for the rich poverty isn't really an issue.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    Of course they do but for the rich poverty isn't really an issue.

    What I'm trying to say is that financial status is no way of saying how good a parent you are or how good you'll be able to raise your children.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    What I'm trying to say is that financial status is no way of saying how good a parent you are or how good you'll be able to raise your children.

    Lovely.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ginner wrote:
    I agree, to a point. I think children should be removed from only truly incompetant parents or from situations in which they are likely to be harmed, become prospectless or criminal.

    Regardless of parental income or social class?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BlackArab wrote:
    Regardless of parental income or social class?

    Yes, though I think there would be fewer from affluent families and areas. For people to make their money then they generally have to be successful in a career which necessitates the development of many of the same skills needed for parenting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about doing some critical thinking about the article, which wants things both ways.

    The parents are idiots AND

    The parents are machiavelian geniuses using seasoned journos to get their kids back.

    The parents don't care for their kids AND

    The parents will threeaten interlopers with death, risk imprisonment etc for them.

    Also they are said to have low IQ's but no evidence of testing etc is given.

    Tha article is basically saying that they are unfit parents because of the actions they took when strangers invaded their home to take their children. Surely that must have been decided prior to large men being sent around to the house to idnap the kids?

    The assault happpened after the kids were stolen.
    People who refuse to reform their actions or can't understand what is asked of them when social services come for a chat are too stupid to keep them.

    One of the great thing about stupid people is that they, like me don't see the abstractions you lot cling to. They wouldn't see "social services" coming to take their kids, they would see men and women stealing what is theirs. And rightly fucking so when they decide they don't like it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    klintock wrote:
    One of the great thing about stupid people is that they, like me don't see the abstractions you lot cling to. They wouldn't see "social services" coming to take their kids, they would see men and women stealing what is theirs. And rightly fucking so when they decide they don't like it.

    I took the opportunity to read through some of the threads you've started and I've come to the conclusion that the part I've highlighted isn't necessary.
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