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Am I Too Young?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was referring to Mandin.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Boozy wrote:
    I've seen a couple of documentaries about the Dutch system and it does produce very good results, but surely they must have something equivilant to statutory rape for cases where very young girls are having sex ?

    I think that it's considered statutory rape when the girl is under 12, but im not completely sure
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's no such thing as statutory rape in the UK.

    Sex with a girl under the age of 13 is on the same tariff scale as rape, with the same maximum of life imprisonment, but it is not rape unless the girl did not consent. A five-year-old girl can consent to sexual intercourse.

    You can only be prosecuted for having sex with an underage girl if you know or should reasonably suspect that the girl is underage. So if you pull her outside the school gates you'll get done; pull her in a nightclub and you probably wouldn't.

    I don't think a lot of is the fault of the media, per se. The media reports what everyone thinks anyway. Activities such as sex are seen as mature by teenagers, and are seen as a way to rebel against their parents and society in general. Everyone says don't do it, so they do.

    No, I don't think everyone is entitled to their opinions. mandin certainly isn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote:
    I was referring to Mandin.
    Hey! I am not unreasonable. I am not saying she shouldnt fall or be with the person she loves. I think we as adults should advice younger people to get with reality and stop chasing dreams. I did not hear anyone ask her if her Bf was the person she wanted to marry. she is still very young and such a step needs much consideration!
    If her mum adviced her well why is she still having doubts.
    Kids will always come up with plans and ideas but its our job to explain to them that life is not a fairy tale. "I LOVE YOU TODAY DOSEN'T MEAN I WILL LOVE YOU TOMMOROW". She's not ready cos she's not experienced.
    If I had a daughter who came up with such an Idea I would be heart broken, but am sure I will bring her up not to think like that. Theres time for everything. everything!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she's not ready because she's not experienced?? :eek2: but EVERYONE starts off unexperienced.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry!!! I did not mean to say "chasing dreams" I meant; chasing fantacies
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:

    I don't think a lot of is the fault of the media, per se. The media reports what everyone thinks anyway. Activities such as sex are seen as mature by teenagers, and are seen as a way to rebel against their parents and society in general. Everyone says don't do it, so they do.

    As they say sex sells, thats why advertisers use sexual images to promote their products, sex is cool, people arn't going to admit their not at it 5 times a night.

    The media is a product of the society it's based in and yes it reflects what people are thinking, but it can also challenge attitudes and change opinions, should the media practice self censorship or should it be free to go in any direction it chooses. Does it have a duty to society and if so who says what is right and wrong, now that in Britain we don't have the strong voice of the church.

    I can compare British teenagers attitudes to sex with American teenagers attitudes, and there is a big difference, the just say no campaigns, do seem to work, here the authorities hand out panthlets on how to get free condoms.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why does it matter if she ends up splitting with this person mandin?

    Why should she lose her virginity to the person she will marry?

    You're being a bigoted judgemental moron. Please shut up. You are wrong. You are not entitled to your opinion.

    "Just say no" doesn't work in any country, least of all the United States.

    Young people won't admit to not doing it. This is because sex is seen as something mature and something to rebel with- those who don't are seen as square and boring. People who aren't having sex are made to feel inferior. The attitude isn't created by the media- it is perpetuated by the media, yes, and the media have a lot of blame in keeping the idea going, but it isn't created by the media.

    Sex stops being so important as you get older.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    mandin wrote:
    Hey! I am not unreasonable. I am not saying she shouldnt fall or be with the person she loves. I think we as adults should advice younger people to get with reality and stop chasing dreams. I did not hear anyone ask her if her Bf was the person she wanted to marry. she is still very young and such a step needs much consideration!
    If her mum adviced her well why is she still having doubts.
    Kids will always come up with plans and ideas but its our job to explain to them that life is not a fairy tale. "I LOVE YOU TODAY DOSEN'T MEAN I WILL LOVE YOU TOMMOROW". She's not ready cos she's not experienced.
    If I had a daughter who came up with such an Idea I would be heart broken, but am sure I will bring her up not to think like that. Theres time for everything. everything!

    I understand where your coming from Mandin, but would you be giving her different advice if she was 16 or 17, from what I've read she doesn't seem to have rushed into this, she waited 3 months.

    As for the question of if her bf is the person she wants to marry, I'm sure she would say yes, although she might not want to say it too loudly in front of her by just yet, but I'm sure like 99% of teenage girls with bf's i'm sure she has already planned the wedding hundreds of times in her head.

    Why is she still having doubts, it's a big step for her, wouldn't you be worried if she had no doubts, then you could say she was acting out a fairy tale, doesn't it show maturity to ask peoples advice and opinions.

    You say she's not ready because she's not experienced, well not experienced in what ?, you can't make a statement like that without talking to her, too me she sounds like she has her head screwed on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Boozy wrote:
    I can compare British teenagers attitudes to sex with American teenagers attitudes, and there is a big difference, the just say no campaigns, do seem to work, here the authorities hand out panthlets on how to get free condoms.

    So how can you explain that Holland is much more open about sex yet has less teenage pregnancies?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So how can you explain that Holland is much more open about sex yet has less teenage pregnancies?

    You have a good point there Moon Rat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can compare British teenagers attitudes to sex with American teenagers attitudes, and there is a big difference, the just say no campaigns, do seem to work, here the authorities hand out panthlets on how to get free condoms.

    "Just say no", and abstienence-only education most certainly does NOT work in the US. It breeds shame and ignorance. For instance, some students were told that a pregnancy would result one out of every seven times a couple uses a condom, and that HIV can be transmitted through sweat and tears.

    States such as California which require sex education to be comprehensive and give medically sound advice are enjoying a teenage pregnancy rate drop of 40% in the past 10 years.

    However, abstinence-only curricula rarely has a positive effect on the behaviour of teenagers. A study showed that 88% of teens who 'pledged' to remain virgins until they married did not do so. And these teens were more likely not to use contraception because they never thought they'd be in a pre-marital situation where they would need it - and they have similar rates of STIs compared to those who did not pledge.

    American teenagers are contracting HIV faster than any other demographic group, and the US still has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world.

    Think of it this way - if you were teaching someone to drive, would you only show them gruesome pictures of car crashes and all the negative aspects associated with driving - or would you teach them that they need to stop at red lights, the highway code etc and where the nearest garages are?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh geez, it seems that I've got a few pages to catch up on. Unfortunately, I don't have many thanks to give out this time due to the fact that I didn't get much help at all. I do want to thank Boozy, you're going to make a great father.
    raped to death

    I don't think anyone really understand the trust that Ty and I have to have with eachother. Not only because of my past but also because of my ability to throw him into jail. If I ever got really mad, etc. All I would have to do is say a few words and he could go to jail for 20 or more years. So, Mandin, I really doubt that the predicament you decided to share with us is far out of reach in my situation.
    Moving in together after three months

    For one thing, it will be six months next week. Three months is just when we started having sex. Anyways, he's moved in with me now but there are legal precautions being taken. Due to the fact that any sexual conduct between us is no longer available by law, we sleep in seperate beds, in seperate bedrooms underneath my mother's roof.
    British this, british that

    Ok, U don't mean to offend anyone by this but I'm an American and hearing about your british laws is not going to aid me in any which way or another. I don't care about the media either and what's happening in Essex, that's not why I made this thread. Also, I'd like to note that I don't boast it to everyone. It's my privacy and unless anyone asks I really don't feel like telling anyone about it.
    'Marriage'

    As I stated in my first post, I am catholic. And there is a whole abstinence until marriage thing that goes on there. I haven't done much thinking of marraige but he sure has, we've constantly discussed it and he's frustrated that we can't get married until after I go through college because they don't accept married ones into the college.
    Boozy

    I want to thank you alot for your consideration and aid in my plea. You're going to make a great parent and I'm sure your kids will be fully open and willing to talk to you. If only there were more people like you here.

    Thanks

    ~ LilWy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lilwy, thanks for your comments, although I don't want to be discussiong sex with my kids for a long, long time yet, The oldest girl turns 4, the day after Thanksgiving.

    My wife was born in Oregon and has spent most of her life in a small town in Idaho, she was raped by a cousin when she was 11, and it took a hell of a long time for her to trust a guy again, I should imagine you grow up pretty fast, if you trust this guy, then in my book you are ready for a serious relationship.

    As for the age laws, as long as you are carefull you should be fine, plus moving state, should make it less likely that people will be aware of your age, but why you would want to move to the East coast I don't know lol.

    The fact that he's the one bringing up the marrage conversation, seems to show that he can found the women he wants to be with, so no worries.

    An interesting point I found myself reading your posts with an American accent, although as my wife constantly tells me "Americans dopnt have accents, it's us Brits that have the accents".

    Good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehe, thanks for you comments. You and your wife sound real nice. I'm up here in Maine because I was born right here on the border and my first language was Canadian French, so if you find any accent in my writing it should be Canadian. Sounds really cute, four year olds. I love toddlers, can't stand babies and they just aren't as much fun when they grow up, eh? If you don't mind me asking are two of the kids twins or just all apart?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LilWy wrote:
    Hehe, thanks for you comments. You and your wife sound real nice. I'm up here in Maine because I was born right here on the border and my first language was Canadian French, so if you find any accent in my writing it should be Canadian. Sounds really cute, four year olds. I love toddlers, can't stand babies and they just aren't as much fun when they grow up, eh? If you don't mind me asking are two of the kids twins or just all apart?

    I've not been to the French Speaking regions of Canada, only to Vancouver, thee I kept on getting asked of I was "Australian", I'll have to try re reading them in a French Canadian accent now, I was led astray by you talking about Wyoming.

    The oldest will be 4 in November and we have 2 two year olds, not twins, my wife got pregnant right after giving birth to our second child.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oooo they sound so cute already. Yea, my dad's military and the base here in Maine closed when I was young so, that's why I moved out to Wyoming, hence why the Wyo laws were mentioned.
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