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Married couples should get tax breaks

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    If a child is parentless, and the only option is homosexual adoption, then i could understand the argument and would probably even give tentative support to the idea.

    However, plenty of homosexuals themselves have doubts over gay parentage...there's the issues of fucking up the unconscious mind...humans are naturally parented by a man and a woman, such an environment is critical in a child's development...abnormalities in this regard are obviously going to manifest themselves in terms of confused sexuality, self-image, confidence and a whole plethora of unconscious mental factors.

    The nature of homosexual relationships is also cause for concern, in terms of increased levels of split-ups, violence and such like.

    I think humans are "naturally" (whatever that means) parented by a community, not by just two people
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    The instability of a lot of gay relationships would concern me, however.

    And the instability of a lot of heterosexual relationships doesn't?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    only a drug mind could speak of such things :thumb:

    Lately, i've been making certain pyschological connections and discoveries when i've been smoking. The last time i took lsd it was a 10-hour lesson on the workings of human pyschology. It's pretty weird, it's like a sudden projection from my unconscious to my conscious mind...suddenly, from nowhere, "ahh...so this is a factor in this, and this is the reason for that...".

    Some researching of pyschology and the stuff i've been formulating in my mind usually is supported.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Lately, i've been making certain pyschological connections and discoveries when i've been smoking. The last time i took lsd it was a 10-hour lesson on the workings of human pyschology. It's pretty weird, it's like a sudden projection from my unconscious to my conscious mind...suddenly, from nowhere, "ahh...so this is a factor in this, and this is the reason for that...".

    Some researching of pyschology and the stuff i've been formulating in my mind usually is supported.

    ha i know exactly what ya mean...gone through that myself...it's brillaint isn't it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Race has nothing to do with the ability to parent.

    The ideal is a man and a woman, married with a large extended family, who love each other a lot.

    I didn't realise that the legislative change was for definite, but I don't think homosexual people should be allowed to adopt children or have artificial insemination. I firmly believe that a child needs both male and female elements when growing up, which is why single-parent families are not ideal, but at least single-parenthood is rarely deliberate.

    I don't think having two dads or two mums can be good for a child. I don't see why the sensibilities of these people should be rated ahead of the rights of a child. I don't think homosexual people are suitable adoptees, simply because they are homosexual and cannot provide the ideal home.

    And no doubt I will be labelled as some homophobic bastard for daring to suggest that gay parenting is not ideal, and should not be encouraged.
    You're going down a very dangerous road there Kermit.

    In an ideal world all parents and families would be 'ideal' and perfect. But in the real world, few are. You claim that because a same-sex couple is less ideal than a mixed-sex one, gay couples should be prevented from adopting or having artificial insemination (what about straight people who turn gay after having children BTW? Should they have their children removed?).

    Well, under that logic, how would you feel if you and GWST were told you're not allowed to have children unless your earnings increase, say, 5-fold? At the end of the day, if you can't buy the best education and provide the best health, care, housing, etc possible for your children, your family would be not as 'ideal' as one that can. Wouldn't it?

    And how about mix-raced couples? Taking the absurd Tommo argument that children might get bullied at school because of their parents, I guess it was all a big mistake to allow people from different races to get together and start having children all those years ago...

    I'm sorry Kermit. You cannot (or at least I would never) prevent people from having children because their situation would be less than perfect. Lines can be drawn and a balance and intelligent approach can be made. A stable, loving gay couple can provide for their children just as good as single parent families, mix-race families and indeed "conventional" families. It's ALL to do with the caring and love given.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The shadow education secretary backed tax breaks to make it easier for married couples to stay together.

    I really don't think that a couple who split up are likely to rethink their decision because of taxt breaks. This seems like an altogether stupid statement to make.

    Personally I don't agree with the proposals. Although I've been brought up by two parents who are married I honestly don't think my experience would have been any different had my parents been unmarried and simply living together.

    I also don't think it is fair to penalise people who, through no fault of their own, are single parents.

    I do think that a family unit is the best environment in which to bring up a child, but I would argue that the 'family' is a socially constructed notion and in reality no 'family' is better than another. As someone put it 'as long as there is love'. I think a child brought up within a loving but perhaps unorthadox 'family' will be happier, and healthier than a child brought up in a loveless 'man and wife' environment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote:
    I think humans are "naturally" (whatever that means) parented by a community, not by just two people

    Well, society plays an important role in development and upbringing, there's no denying that. Society/community/whatever you want to call it doesn't lay the foundations of personality, character etc...this is largely parental.

    Having a caring mother after birth is crucial...and this is absolutely imperative for a baby, if he/she is to grow into a successful, self-assured person. Adoptive children often are fucked up because of this...

    Certainly, your parental environment will determine who and what you are deep down. I've got little doubt of that. Homosexual parenting seems to be throwing a spanner in the works, so to speak. Add the reaction of society (torment at school etc) and you've got a very bad idea.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Now that's just proposterous. You've really no idea what you're talking about. How do macho and "homophobic" environments pose a serious risk of fucking children up?
    By making the children bigoted and prejudiced wankers when they grow up, of course.

    Most bigoted twats are made, not born.


    Errr...yes, really. You have no grasp on child pyschology if you think bonding with a mother is not a pyschological necessity.
    It is not a necessity. It is preferable.

    Would you advocate taking the children away from widowers or those men whose wives left them and did a runner then? At the end of the day you would not want to leave a child at such appalling pyschological risk would you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Having a caring mother after birth is crucial...and this is absolutely imperative for a baby, if he/she is to grow into a successful, self-assured person. Adoptive children often are fucked up because of this...

    Can't a man play the role of 'mother'?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    By making the children bigoted and prejudiced wankers when they grow up, of course.

    Most bigoted twats are made, not born.

    I'd disagree with that. I'd say our base nature is one of bigotry and prejudice. Reasoning and separating intellect from emotion lead to greater understanding and consequent tolerance. Bigotry etc is derived from evolutionary purpose.

    Being brought up by a macho father is definitely a good thing in terms of learning self-assurance, sexual gender roles etc.


    It is not a necessity. It is preferable.

    It's necessity for the healthy development of a child.

    Would you advocate taking the children away from widowers or those men whose wives left them and did a runner then? At the end of the day you would not want to leave a child at such appalling pyschological risk would you?

    One caring and attentive biological parent is preferable over adoption.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BumbleBee wrote:
    Can't a man play the role of 'mother'?

    To an extent, yes. However, there are issues in terms of knock-on effect...sexuality of the child etc. I don't think there can be much doubt that two homosexual men are far from perfect as a parenting unit, and would cause serious pyschological problems. I think it would destroy people, really fuck them up properly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    I'd disagree with that. I'd say our base nature is one of bigotry and prejudice. Reasoning and separating intellect from emotion lead to greater understanding and consequent tolerance. Bigotry etc is derived from evolutionary purpose.

    I'd argue that our "base nature" is mutable and not fixed and rather depends on environment and upbringing.
    Spliffie wrote:
    Being brought up by a macho father is definitely a good thing in terms of learning self-assurance, sexual gender roles etc.

    I'd say its a bad thing, leading to emotional repression, anxiety and reinforcement of culturally constructed damaging gender roles.


    Spliffie wrote:
    It's necessity for the healthy development of a child.

    Bonding with a human being is a necessity, not sure if it has to be the mother. On what research do you base your view?

    Spliffie wrote:
    One caring and attentive biological parent is preferable over adoption.

    And homosexual parents are preferable over none at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Well, society plays an important role in development and upbringing, there's no denying that. Society/community/whatever you want to call it doesn't lay the foundations of personality, character etc...this is largely parental.

    No, what I meant was that for most of the history of the human race, childcare has been the responsibility of an extended family, encompassing the local community as well as the immediate family. The ideal nuclear family is a very recent development.
    Spliffie wrote:
    Having a caring mother after birth is crucial...and this is absolutely imperative for a baby, if he/she is to grow into a successful, self-assured person. Adoptive children often are fucked up because of this...

    Having a caring human being is essential.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say its a bad thing, leading to emotional repression, anxiety and reinforcement of culturally constructed damaging gender roles.

    What kind of damaging gender roles?

    To be the dominant male is the inherent, evolutionary desire of the male pysche...being "macho" is inkeeping with our 'base nature'. It's common sense that to be brought up around a fairly "macho" father is going to assist his children in being assertive, successful, having strong self-image etc. There is a big difference between a dominant, macho father and an abusive, controlling father.



    Bonding with a human being is a necessity, not sure if it has to be the mother. On what research do you base your view?

    No names of publications to hand but i'll have a look later on. Some useful info relating to adoption is about but it's fairly scattered.

    And homosexual parents are preferable over none at all.

    Which i've already agreed with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote:
    No, what I meant was that for most of the history of the human race, childcare has been the responsibility of an extended family, encompassing the local community as well as the immediate family. The ideal nuclear family is a very recent development.




    Having a caring human being is essential.

    Yes, of course...but your biological mother and father are the preference. I'm not denying homosexuals can't care for children and provide love etc, but my understanding of pyschology throws up serious questions over how children will react, particularly in terms of their unconscious mind, to having homosexual parents.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be the dominant male is the inherent, evolutionary desire of the male pysche...being "macho" is inkeeping with our 'base nature'

    Who sold you this line of shite?
    It's common sense that to be brought up around a fairly "macho" father is going to assist his children in being assertive, successful, having strong self-image etc.

    Ever see the fast show? "Competetive dad" springs to mind....
    There is a big difference between a dominant, macho father and an abusive, controlling father.

    I have seen few couples were the woman wasn't the dominant one. to carry on from your original assertion, a married man is inherently a beta male. If he was truly "dominant" he would be shagging around like a rabbit and would have no need for what would be a crappy, time-wasting pair bond.

    Not that you are typing anything like sense anyway..... :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    I'd disagree with that. I'd say our base nature is one of bigotry and prejudice. Reasoning and separating intellect from emotion lead to greater understanding and consequent tolerance. Bigotry etc is derived from evolutionary purpose.
    It's up to the parents to ensure their children grow up healthily and become open mind tolerant persons then.

    It's necessity for the healthy development of a child.
    Not necessarily so.



    One caring and attentive biological parent is preferable over adoption.
    And two caring and attentive same-sex parents would be preferable over a widower raising a child.

    So what do we do? Do we prevent everyone not deemed 'ideal' from having children?

    I hope you yourself don't even think of having any... Unless of course you earn upwards of 100K per year. Anything less would not be able to provide for your children in an ideal manner.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to make it clear, the reference to the 5th was around same sex marriage, not the idea of gay people being able to have children, obviously gay parents have been bringing up children for a long time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    by the way, when did the nuclear family become the ideal, when I was growing up it was always seen as the problem causing the breakdown of local communities
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    although I do think that preference should be given to heterosexual couples simply because of the male and female influence on the child's upbringing.

    I dont think anyone would seriously argue that point.

    BTW Aladdin, dont even try and compare the arguments I made to trying to compare mixed race relationships and gay relationships, its completely different and you know it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How many people posting on this thread have raised children and support homosexual couples adopting.

    I wouldnt expect too many when you have actually raised children yourself, its gives you a very different perspective on things and how it should be done.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I imagine that several members of this forum would, and I can respect that

    Oh I can as well, but I would expect it to be the Blagsta's and Aladdins of this world who havnt had kids themselves to be arguing the point, when they have kids, if they hold the same views I would be surprised.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I am currently raising two children, one aged 3 and the other 9 months, you really dont realise what you go through until it happens and a mother/father relationship is the best way to raise them, I am certain of that 100%
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    With homophobia still a very strong force in the world is it really fair to let children be brought up by gay couples. I don't believe so.
    It's not so much to do with whether gay parents would make good parents, but more to do with the extra strife the kid is certain to get as they're growing up.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    What kind of damaging gender roles?

    To be the dominant male is the inherent, evolutionary desire of the male pysche...being "macho" is inkeeping with our 'base nature'. It's common sense that to be brought up around a fairly "macho" father is going to assist his children in being assertive, successful, having strong self-image etc. There is a big difference between a dominant, macho father and an abusive, controlling father.

    I'd argue with that. "Macho" behaviour is IMO, a consequence of patriarchy and also an emotional defence against having to actually deal with any difficult feelings. Most "macho" men are emotionally screwed up, have a hard time showing their feelings and resort to fists over dealing with things in an adult manner. I'd also argue that our "base" nature is complex and mutable, not fixed.
    Spliffie wrote:
    No names of publications to hand but i'll have a look later on. Some useful info relating to adoption is about but it's fairly scattered.

    Have a look at some of the infant observation studies carried out by the Tavistock.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote:
    I'd argue with that. "Macho" behaviour is IMO, a consequence of patriarchy and also an emotional defence against having to actually deal with any difficult feelings. Most "macho" men are emotionally screwed up, have a hard time showing their feelings and resort to fists over dealing with things in an adult manner. I'd also argue that our "base" nature is complex and mutable, not fixed.

    Macho behaviour can be linked to patriarchy and emotional repression i wouldnt disagree, but it goes deeper than that. The vast majority of people are screwed up in some way anyway. Certainly the most messed up people i know are the very opposite of "macho" in most respects.


    I understand the view of the human pysche as a blank canvass which is developed through experience...which is true, in some respects...but through evolution we seem to have, as i see it, driving forces, impulses and the like...which are not environmentally rooted. In other words, a mixture of both. Yes, environment is a main factor, because we can think consciously and deviate from our evolutionary purpose as a result but not the only factor. Because we have evolutionary purpose it follows that we have a base nature of some sort.

    I've never said our base nature was fixed either. I would argue it is mutable myself but not completely 100%. For example, to desire a mate is a basic characteristic of our base state...something which environment can certainly fashion but not completely change. Environment is clearly not the root cause of people having relationships, falling in love etc...these are are a result of our 'base nature'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tommo100 wrote:
    How many people posting on this thread have raised children and support homosexual couples adopting.

    *raises hand*
    I wouldnt expect too many when you have actually raised children yourself, its gives you a very different perspective on things and how it should be done.

    Indeed it does.

    I would actually have more of an objection to a homophobic/racist heterosexual couple raising a child than I would a homosexual couple...
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