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hm. life is what u make it.
Ok i am not a teen, do i still fall into this so say group that stinks cause i am too young?
calm down. i didnt say that anyone 'stinks'. i said that it DOES concern me and everyone. any decision you make impacts on other people
Meaning?
How is me & my partner having our child at what is apparently a young age any concern of anyone elses?
just you and your family. what about different places and escapism and intellectual stimulation. what about making a difference to more than just your own flesh and blood
Tell me how having a child means that i don't get mental stimulation or i don't make a difference to anything/anyone else?
you twist everything i say to mean something entirely different. why even bother arguing my point?
I haven't twisted anything. I have just replied to what you said.
Listen do you really think that when someone has a child you just switch your brain off, get the nappies out & stay at home? If you do i feel sorry for you.
I don't really care to be honest.
As mentioned previously, Tweety is not a teenager.
Sometimes your business? Why? Because of the age at which some people fall pregnant, and you have a problem with it so it should be your business? I pay taxes too, and I'm not always happy in which the way taxes are used. I think it's a big dose of Life's Not Fair.
Then again, it's easier to point the finger than offer a helping hand....
no i don't think that. but i think a lot of things are closed to you
my cousin was 17 when she gave birth to her first child. she had to drop out of school in order to take care of her. she didnt care about school really; she thought that bringing a child into the world would fill up the hole inside of her. now she's 22. she has another child too, and both are beautiful and well balanced and full of joy. her boyfreind looks after them all - they went through a patch where he would give her nothing but now they're ok. the hole is still there though
i'm not pointing the finger. people i love have made the same choices as people on here.
Ok, up until this point I was firmly in agreement with everything you've said, but I think to suggest that those people who chose, nay need to 'give their child to a stranger' in order to support their family are inferior to those who stay at home is absurd.
Both of my parents worked damn hard when I was growing up and that was not out of choice. Many parents would love to have the freedom to stay at home and raise their child full time but for the majority this isn't possible. You are obviously very lucky to be able to sustain an adequate lifestyle whilst only one of you works but I take great offence at the suggestion that people shove their children off on other people, 'strangers' even, whilst they work.
As for you xmizzcattyx, you have missed the point entirely. Who are you to judge what other people do? To some people playing an instrument and teaching others to do so is a complete and utter waste of time. You seem to have taken the moral highground and are suggesting that what you are contributing to the world is somehow greater than what mothers contribute. How would life be for you if your mother had your attitude, and decided that bringing life into the world wasn't for her...? You'd feel pretty much non-existant.
What hole is this you speak of? You said yourself that you cousin wasn't at all interested in school so why should she have chosen another path if she is content with the one she took?
Education isn't for everyone. If the whole country had a degree who would clean the floors at the local shopping centre? Who would serve you at the checkouts in Tesco? Someone has to do these jobs! You seem to have the attitude that anyone who chooses to do something with their lives that you yourself don't see as a path you would choose is inferior.
At work I see pregnant teens week in and week out, and the majority of them are intelligent young women who have simply chosen to bring another life into the world at an age where society sneers at them. Why should we sneer at those who have chosen a different path. Yes, motherhood is not for all women, but it is something deeply cherished by those who have chosen it. Do not look down at them.
no i'm saying its possible both to be qualified AND to have children etc later.
my mother does share my attitude. she qualified as a midwife before she had me. when she had me, she stopped working full time and started working part time instead (but still working), and she carried on working part time while she had my brother, etc. she still does work part time because she prefers it. she has had the fulfillment of her job, and the pleasure of bringing up her children both at the same time.
Of course it is, but it's not what everyone wants. And people's ideals change. I had a friend who wanted to go back to full-time work after she had her baby, but after time, she wanted to stay at home with her son full time. Another mum I know wanted to stay at home with her children, but found she wanted to go back to work part-time.
It's not set in stone, and no two women are going to be the same, so they have the choice to decide what's best for them, and they should do this without having to feel attacked.
If people want to have children young and stay home with them, then that's their decision, or if people want to work full time after they've had children, then that's their choice too, but I would have thought we at least live in a time where we can appreciate that people have different wants and needs, and not make them feel inferior just because your life plan is different to theirs.
Qualified at what? I have qualifications, damn good ones I'd say, and I'm working towards several more at the moment. I'd still have those qualifications if I became a mother tomorrow, but they sure as hell wouldn't make me any better a mother than those who don't have any whatsoever.
Being a good parent isn't about what qualifications you have. A history degree isn't going to aid anyone in bringing up a child.
As I've already said (and a point you ignored!) if everyone had a degree or similar qualifications nobody would want to do a job that didn't require a degree, and society would fall flat on its face. End of.
So are you saying that if possible you don't think that looking after your children yourself is better? I certainly do. Yes some can't do it but my opinion is that if you don't look after your children yourself at least part time then i don't see the point in having them.
But then like i said that my opinion.
Tell you what though, when I'm out in a shirt and tie or a suit, after work, I get a lot less fucking looks then when I'm out in my jeans and hoody or a rude/comical top !!!
That really fucking PISSES me off. wankers !
Ah well - IT's all good
I don't think either is better. My parents sent me to a childminder but they are far better parents than many who chose not to work, looking at my friends and those I grew up with tells me that.
Even those people who don't look after their children full time see their kids. There are very few parents who don't see their own children because they are working too much. Those who don't see very much of their children simple because they choose to work rather than need to work are the kind of people not fit to have children.
Those are the people i am talking about. In an ideal world i would now be working part time but i cannot afford to, how stupid is that!
You know what? I just typed out a big long reply to this and I've just deleted the lot. I cannot be arsed. I see these arguments time and time and time again on various boards and I'm sick to the back teeth of it. What the hell ever happened to sisterhood and solidarity? It went by the wayside, shoved out of the way by political agendas and ideologies.
Fuck it, I'm through.
Glad its not just me that does that.
I personally don't understand why a woman in this day and age would question the choices made by other women.
Because they disagree with them. Which is fair enough IMHO.
I don't care which parent it is that stays at home, but one should. Latch-key kids are less likely to be happy, and more likely to suffer from depression and other behavioural problems, than kids who have one parent at home for most, if not all, the time. At least until they are teenagers, anyway.
There's nothing wrong with working, but there should always be one parent at home.
Unless of course the kid isn't, then of course there wouldn't be any reason for the parent to be at home.
But otherwise, yes, I agree. Which is why my dad has worked shifts for over 20 years.
Yeah, obviously.
I don't understand couples who have children and then ship them straight off to the nanny, to be honest. I don't understand why you would have kids and then never see them through choice.