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teen parenting

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Miffy
    There's nothing to stop you getting an education when you've got kids. I had two when I did my degree.

    how on earth did u manage?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    check this out then http://www.dfes.gov.uk/teenagepregnancy/dsp_content.cfm?pageId=218
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    how on earth did u manage?

    With support from the people around her, maybe?

    I know someone who had a daughter when she was sixteen, and carried on with her A-levels exactly as I've done, and will be going to university in September just as I will - the only difference in education between her with a child and me and countless others without one is that she's got better grades. I might have agreed with the opinion that young mums are 'throwing their lives away' (for want of a better term) before I met her, but I just see no sense in the argument any more.

    There's more to life than getting an education, you just can't see it if you choose not to think from someone else's perspective.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    how on earth did u manage?

    In what sense do you mean?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my opinion a lot of teen Mums have a lot to be proud of. I'm talking about the ones who sacrifice a good few years of their life at a time when their mates are having fun in order to devote their time and attention to the baby. Often facing a l ack of money and prejudice.

    I know teen mums who are great mums who got preggers by accident, by the same token I know mums who had planned pregnancies who dont give their kids anywhere near the amount of time and attention they need.

    So kudos to all of you, you've not wasted a life, merely created a new one and when you look at what you've created does it matter your education may be put back a few years.

    By the same token I think teen mums who get pregnant deliberatly for whatever reason are perhaps not responsible enough to see the enormous responsibilty they;ve taken on.

    Hope I've not offended anyone

    Phoenix
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would just like to add, we are far from rich but our baby wants for nothing & is a very happy baby. Money does not make much difference, sure it makes things a little easier but our son would not be any happier if we had more money.
    He has all the love, support, and we teach him things. Neither of us have a degree fully but we arent thick either so we will manage fine helping our child learn also.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    Money does not make much difference, sure it makes things a little easier but our son would not be any happier if we had more money.
    He has all the love, support, and we teach him things. Neither of us have a degree fully btu we arent thick either so we will manage fine helping oiur child learn also.

    Well a degree doesn't make much difference either Tweety so I wouldn't worry about that!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    none of you feel like you've thrown your life away?
    no .my babys the best thing thats ever happend to me and my partner i dont feel ive throwen anything away ive just kind of gaind a life to help look after .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    surely the best time to bring a vhild into the world is when you can support it properly. help it learn. hold down a stable job and have all the resources your child needs. how at 16/17 with no qualifications is it possible to bring up a child with all it needs? a life of council flats and scrimping and saving?!
    ill explain how not al;l teen mothers dont have a education and not all of us dont have jobs . i have a very serious relasionship with my partner and we both have great job so we have plenty money comeing in we also have our own house ,so u cant say that teen parent arent as good as looking after a child than older people and al that realy counts is that you love that child and rais itas well as you know how to thats how to be a good mother i think .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    i disagree. money SHOULDNT be necessary for happiness, but it is a huge factor. it also greatly effects life chances. if you want i'll dig out some statistics to back me up on that. without money life can be miserable. you need money to sustain even the most basic human prerequisites.

    money definately = quality of life
    Dont mean to be nasty but you sound very jelious of people as young as 16/17 who have children and a partner that supports them .mabey thats why you crittisize us.just have a look in the mirror and crittisize yourself ,someone with nothing but a stupid collage or uni digree,just think while were all watching our children take there first step,say there first word and growing up youllbe sitting at a desk in some office or somethin bored and missing ouit on what lifes realy about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mate nothing personal, but a degree is something we work hard for. Something that we want, i admire you, but I'm not going to take that kind of shit from you any more than you should take the exact same shit from anyone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    Mate nothing personal, but a degree is something we work hard for. Something that we want, i admire you, but I'm not going to take that kind of shit from you any more than you should take the exact same shit from anyone else.

    I agree but then a degree isn't for everyone either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    I agree but then a degree isn't for everyone either.

    That's what I've been saying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fiend_85
    That's what I've been saying.

    Thats good then :p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    Thats good then :p.

    Yes, it is then :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lilkitten16
    Dont mean to be nasty but you sound very jelious of people as young as 16/17 who have children and a partner that supports them .mabey thats why you crittisize us.just have a look in the mirror and crittisize yourself ,someone with nothing but a stupid collage or uni digree,just think while were all watching our children take there first step,say there first word and growing up youllbe sitting at a desk in some office or somethin bored and missing ouit on what lifes realy about.

    firstly, i hate the phrase; 'i don't mean to be nasty but..' because it always precedes nastiness, and its just making excuses.

    i am in no way jealous

    i am a musician and will never have a desk job. i'll be teaching and performing and such and bringing joy to people in another way.

    to you maybe life is about breeding. to me its not. i'm not missing out on anything
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx

    to you maybe life is about breeding. to me its not. i'm not missing out on anything

    Exactly to you its not, doesnt make it wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    never said twas wrong. it is for me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    never said twas wrong. it is for me

    Not but you consider it as throwing your life away.
    Its isn't at all, it all depends on the person. For instance i have never been a clubbing person or am i interested in going out & getting pissed.
    For me in those ways nothing has changed. Only difference for me is instead of working i have given it up to bring up our child. My partners works for all of us.

    See there was nothing to throw away really. Ok i don't get spare time i did but instead i get to know i am doing something very worthwhile.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm not missing out on anything

    Good for you, that's your choice. Women who choose to have children in their teens should be given as much support as needed. What's your alternative? Forcing them to have abortions so they can get an education, or something else on paper which has value to some people but not others? They've made their decision.

    Also, 'breeding' doesn't really hold much here in terms of insults, whether you were trying to sound superior or not. I see you have a livejournal, take it to the childfree community where parents are given names such as 'moo' and 'duh'.

    To be honest, if people want to be parents when they are in a good financial position, they'd be waiting their entire lives! While money helps, it doesn't mean everything will be perfecto.
    if you want i'll dig out some statistics to back me up on that

    ok. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    Not but you consider it as throwing your life away.
    Its isn't at all, it all depends on the person. For instance i have never been a clubbing person or am i interested in going out & getting pissed.
    For me in those ways nothing has changed. Only difference for me is instead of working i have given it up to bring up our child. My partners works for all of us.

    See there was nothing to throw away really. Ok i don't get spare time i did but instead i get to know i am doing something very worthwhile.

    yea, i do. because i could be much more than this. and the more i am, the more i can give to a child.

    you don't even work?!

    i don't deny its worthwhile. i'm saying theres better times to do it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok. :) [/B]

    see the link i posted above - the studies incude statistical evidence i believe
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    yea, i do. because i could be much more than this. and the more i am, the more i can give to a child.

    you don't even work?!

    i don't deny its worthwhile. i'm saying theres better times to do it

    Hang on now, this is getting a bit below the belt. My mum was the same age as Tweety when she had me, and she stayed at home with me until I was old enough to go to school. It was her decision, and I was planned and wanted. The timing in people's lives when they decide to have children is none of your business, and nor should they have to justify it. This has gone from teen parenting to ideals of when to have children and why people stay at home etc

    If you're going to question people's lifestyle choices, then don't be surprised if people start questioning yours, and not always in a polite way either...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx
    yea, i do. because i could be much more than this. and the more i am, the more i can give to a child.

    you don't even work?!

    i don't deny its worthwhile. i'm saying theres better times to do it

    No i am not working for a few years as its much more important to me that my child gets the love & support & security. Are you telling me it would be better that i went out to work & gave my child to some stranger to look after? Like i said my partner works so we do not scrounge!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Miffy
    There's nothing to stop you getting an education when you've got kids. I had two when I did my degree.
    so did my mum.
    Im going to university next month and ive got a child.
    Contrary to popular belief a child does not = the end of the world.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    No i am not working for a few years as its much more important to me that my child gets the love & support & security. Are you telling me it would be better that i went out to work & gave my child to some stranger to look after? Like i said my partner works so we do not scrounge!
    i know what u mean im on maternity leave but i didnt qualifi for maternity pay from my work because i wasnt there long enough ,so m partners bringing in the money so im not scroungeing either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by go_away
    Hang on now, this is getting a bit below the belt. My mum was the same age as Tweety when she had me, and she stayed at home with me until I was old enough to go to school. It was her decision, and I was planned and wanted. The timing in people's lives when they decide to have children is none of your business, and nor should they have to justify it. This has gone from teen parenting to ideals of when to have children and why people stay at home etc

    If you're going to question people's lifestyle choices, then don't be surprised if people start questioning yours, and not always in a polite way either...

    below the belt? come on! the timing that people choose to have children can sometimes be my business - its the tax payers that support many teens who choose to have children when in real terms they are unprepared.

    question my lifestyle choices if you like. i never said i am perfect. i'm 18, i'm doin g a levels. i love with my parents. next year i have a place to study the flute in cardiff at the royal welsh conservatoire. i had a job teaching but i gave it up to be in the top orchestra of the county and now my parents support me partly, and i live partly off the savings i got from working all summer. i'm gay, vegetarian, fat, i wear glasses. enough ammo yet?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think some people have a very straight view of the world.:rolleyes: Just don't be surprised if you come unstuck when it doesn't go as planned.

    lilkitten16 - Glad everythings working for you :).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Tweety
    No i am not working for a few years as its much more important to me that my child gets the love & support & security. Are you telling me it would be better that i went out to work & gave my child to some stranger to look after? Like i said my partner works so we do not scrounge!

    is your world not small?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by xmizzcattyx


    you don't even work?!

    course she doesnt. Shes got a small baby whos not even a year old.
    I dont understand your comment
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