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I am In L<3VE
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello all, this is my first post and i am going to let everything out and hopefully you can help me out.
I am 16 and shy, very shy, and a virgin, never really touched a girl/kissed one. And 3 and a half years ago i fell in love with one of my classmates and who is a neighbour and lives down my street. She was in a relationship at the time, every French lesson i allways gave a quick glance at her as i loved her, she sometimed looked back.
3 years later she dumped/was dumped by her B/F and all we finished our GCSE's and she moved onto another 6thForm and i stayed at the 6thForm at my schhool, I felt i lost her for good.
3 months ago i got a job in my local supermarket where she was also working but in other departments.
My heart was alive, i could see her again!!
I added her to my MSN and we got on chatting most nights but underneath my skin i wanted to ask her out.
2 days ago she wanted to see if i would walk down with her to the supermarket and i was so up for it but we had diffrent shifts so i had to say no. We then wer on our lunch break and she offered a me a card (she was writing them out at the time) i refused as i felt it was pointless and now i wish i could turn the clocks back and accept it. I was thinking in my head is this a bit flirty? as she has never wanted me to walk down with her or get a Xmas card off her. Then she offered me to go shopppign with her and some of her mates for some Xmas presents but unfortunatly i was working.
I am allways thinking about her and when i am trying to get alseep (11pm) and it takes me 2 hours to get to sleep as she is in my mind.
O.k. - i am not like Brad Pitt, have a Six-Pac and like Mr.World 2004, i am 'fat' and 'ugly' (well thast what i think) but then i realise i would never cheat, lie, i'm caring/loving, happy and fun to be with and would allways be with her.... but would she know that?...
She is georgeous, fun, happy, smart and sexy!
I allways think of her and me being man and wife, having sex in my mind (without useing a condom) and then she would fall pregnant and we would have kids...
I then had in my mind i was going to ask her out when we got to her house, but 1st i need to change my work shifts to do this. then it entered waht would she say? Yes/No? i was scared.
Would she tell her friends? (laugh at me and make my life horrible) if yes would her friends still laught at me and her?
This was making it feel pointless.
So should i ask her out? what should i do? what should i say? where?
Plese Help!!!! Its tearing me up inside!!!
joshmeister
(I have never told anyone about this - 3 and 1/2 years of silence)
I am 16 and shy, very shy, and a virgin, never really touched a girl/kissed one. And 3 and a half years ago i fell in love with one of my classmates and who is a neighbour and lives down my street. She was in a relationship at the time, every French lesson i allways gave a quick glance at her as i loved her, she sometimed looked back.
3 years later she dumped/was dumped by her B/F and all we finished our GCSE's and she moved onto another 6thForm and i stayed at the 6thForm at my schhool, I felt i lost her for good.
3 months ago i got a job in my local supermarket where she was also working but in other departments.
My heart was alive, i could see her again!!
I added her to my MSN and we got on chatting most nights but underneath my skin i wanted to ask her out.
2 days ago she wanted to see if i would walk down with her to the supermarket and i was so up for it but we had diffrent shifts so i had to say no. We then wer on our lunch break and she offered a me a card (she was writing them out at the time) i refused as i felt it was pointless and now i wish i could turn the clocks back and accept it. I was thinking in my head is this a bit flirty? as she has never wanted me to walk down with her or get a Xmas card off her. Then she offered me to go shopppign with her and some of her mates for some Xmas presents but unfortunatly i was working.
I am allways thinking about her and when i am trying to get alseep (11pm) and it takes me 2 hours to get to sleep as she is in my mind.
O.k. - i am not like Brad Pitt, have a Six-Pac and like Mr.World 2004, i am 'fat' and 'ugly' (well thast what i think) but then i realise i would never cheat, lie, i'm caring/loving, happy and fun to be with and would allways be with her.... but would she know that?...
She is georgeous, fun, happy, smart and sexy!
I allways think of her and me being man and wife, having sex in my mind (without useing a condom) and then she would fall pregnant and we would have kids...
I then had in my mind i was going to ask her out when we got to her house, but 1st i need to change my work shifts to do this. then it entered waht would she say? Yes/No? i was scared.
Would she tell her friends? (laugh at me and make my life horrible) if yes would her friends still laught at me and her?
This was making it feel pointless.
So should i ask her out? what should i do? what should i say? where?
Plese Help!!!! Its tearing me up inside!!!
joshmeister
(I have never told anyone about this - 3 and 1/2 years of silence)
0
Comments
Ask her out.
Woh slow down their cowboy:eek:
Send/give her a Christmas card with something like 'there's something I've been wanting to ask you' then she'll be intrigued & will probably ask you what you've got to say to her. Which gives you a prime opportunity to ask her out:)
Hold back on the heavy stuff like you've fancied her for years & what's in your quote above as bringing this to her attention may scare her away & then she might think you're weird.
I know it's hard when you're young to say "sock it to everyone else", but it's an important lesson to learn - if there's something important that you feel you need to do for yourself, then you should do it, regardless of how you feel your friends may react. Some people are incredibly childish in situations like this, especially school kids, and they're the type to laugh in the face of people who get rejected... but they wont laugh at you forever. Trust me, next week they'll be too damn excited about the little toys they got from Father sodding Christmas. In the swing of things, sweetness, those people aren't even worth your breath.
I think you should just go for it - tell her how you feel (within reason - I agree with the above post... it's not a wise idea to be proposing marriage and babies anytime soon, but what harm could it do asking her out?). If the worst comes to the worst, she'll say no. And then what? In all likelihood you'll eventually be able to revert back to being friends, almost as if nothing had happened... if you've been friends for a long time, I don't think she'd just bugger off out of your life after something like this. She sounds like a nice girl...
Good luck! I can empathise with how difficult this is for you.
*Whispers* Go for it!
The sad news are: Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. I made the same mistake a couple of times... falling in love with a girl, holding it back in myself for long enough to make it uncomfortable for me to even look at her. Then i waited for another year, gathering courage, and then i told her. So when she said no, i was kind of devastated, because i lost 2 years to her. And it was actually my fault. Now i have a different problem: i can't fall in love... I realised, as soon as you start liking a girl, go and ask her out. Else you'll probably become friends. Anyone, if i'm wrong, correct me, but that's just the way i percieve things.
So, my suggestion is that you ask her out. If she says yes to it all, that's great, you'll be the happiest guy in the world. If she says no, you'll probably stay friends.
If she said 'yes' and i have never been to in a relationship..
• Where would i take her on a date?
• When should i take her out? (as it is like Xmas/B'day now)
• Prezzies?
• How do ya kiss?
• Nowt else i need to know?
Kissing is natural, you already know how to do it. Don't try and lick her tonsils, don't go at it like a washing machine, and remember to breathe through your nose.
Then i was all plucking up my courage to ask her out at 7, then i waited, she didnt come, i couldnt ask her, she went home an hour earlier.... f00k!!!
what shall i do now? ask her on MSN??
p.s if this is for real you sound obsessed. maybe best if you drop the whole thing
Love and lust are totally different, but it's easy to confuse them. So how do you tell?
•Lust: If all you want to do is grab her and snog until dark, skipping all the chitchat and stuff about her day, it's probably lust.
•Love: When you're in love you still wanna snog her like there's no tomorrow, but it's the stuff she says that's really burning up your pants.
Definatly the Love
I get to see her and we r both quiet aroud together...
I was comfortable yesterday but she went home early, as i said, i am shy, really shy.. when i was in secondary i must spoke like two words the whole day.
Oh and if i speak to people i say one word etc. when i am on MSn i cant stop speaking,...
If I were to be asked out over the Internet, I can't say I'd be too impressed. But that's just me. She might not mind it - who knows? - the only way you can find out is to do it. Whether you ask her online or offline, you wont know until you do.
I'll say it one more time - I don't think doing it over the Internet is the best way to ask a girl out... I understand that you're shy and that this is all very new to you, but I think in the long run it'd work in your favour to ask her in person. So what that it's Christmas - if you've waited three years I'm sure you can wait a few more days - maybe you should try to get to know her a bit better? Find out what makes her tick, find out what she likes... all these little things could help you find some common ground between the both of you, which might make it easier to approach her?
Have you read the thread on this site entitled 'Breaking Up'? Some poor girl has been dumped by her partner over MSN, and many of the responses to that suggest that she deserved a lot more respect (and she did) and that the guy should have at least had the decency to talk to her face-to-face. I know being dumped and being asked out are two extremely different things, but when you look at it in this context, I think the same values can be applied - being asked out in person is so much nicer than being asked through a computer screen, and will earn you a lot more respect. It also shows confidence (even though you may not feel particularly confident at the time!) and girls always like that.
However you do it, deary, I wish you the best of luck and hope that it all runs smoothly.
I will see when she is next working and do some overtime and see what happens. ta.
All the best.
Just ask her out and see how things go.
.matt
You may think you are prepared for the consequences. But imagining it. is nothing compared to truely experiencing a broken heart.
Ok, you truly care for the girl, etc, etc. But you seriously need to pull yourself together and stop becoming all obsessed with this lass - thinking you'll live happily ever after with her. *Snap out of it*
Just play it day by day. Ask out her out asap. As the sooner you know the better it is for you; as you'll finally know where you stand.
Good Luck!!
guess it gives me good time to go to the gym
Still really like her, just dont think i am the 'one' and again, plucking up the courage is a real big issue for me.
Allthough there was some rumors going around at work about her and a 26y/o man, and i actually sat with him, saying they are not talking, saying she was a C(_)nt etc. made me upset, and was going to ask him why but didnt in the end.
Sucks
Just find a moment when you two are alone, and ask, don't think about it, don't think you you aren't the 'one', just focus on the fact that you MUST ask her out.
It might not be a great idea to fret about the wording or what you are going to do together, it'll come out naturally if you stop worrying, and if it doesn't, then make fun out of yourself. Women like funny and confident guys, and the more confident you seem, and the more you look on the bright side of things, chances are more likely she'll be to say 'yes'.
Luck to ye!
Changed my working times, 10-7, so i thought i could walk down/up with her (the times she works). But no she was doing 11-7
Then at lunch she was talking to people all around me, then i was watching a pool match, was right next to me, didnt say hi or nothing. and said hi to the bloke next to me.
At 7 was walking home, she never showed
What this mean? she dont like me?... :banghead:
Next time you see her, you've both got free time, be firm with yourself. If you just keep stopping at the last minute, thats all you'll ever do. Make a target - next time you see her, ask her out. No excuses, you'll probably never get the perfect situation.
The main thing to remember is that there is two possible outcomes:
1) She says "thats sweet but lets just be friends..." etc. Ah well? Least you tried.
2) She says yes, you end up going out and live happily ever after.
Stop being a wuss and ask her out.