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is he being gay back?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
There is this guy i have liked for ages, im always asking to hangout and he seems fine with it, we do meet up very occasionally. Can't be more often because of him being at school...
I think about him all the time, every min of the day and am always thinking ahead to when it may be possible to meet up again. The problem is im not 100% sure if he knows why im always phoning him and want to hang out all the time, i think he has an idea but im not sure..
Anyway i had him over to watch a movie at mine, he'd already been drinking before he arrived and we had some drinks at mine too... i asked if i could sit next to him on the bed, he said yeh so i said move across... Anyway we shared bottles of beer etc keep passing them between us. I asked if he was cold, he said yes so i got a blanket over us... we were side by side pressed against each other and then i looked over and he had a full bottle of beer and started downing it, i laughed and followed his example soon after he moved his foot over mine and then moved his hand down to my pants and started to give me a handjob, i was frozen in amazement for a bit, but then started to do the same to him, then when i was doing it back he sat up and tried to undo my trousers... i thought he felt the same way and it was very exciting, i was huging him etc pretty soon later he passed out and i've asked him when he woke up and the next day about things other than this, over the course of the night, he says he can't remember things and im pretty sure he won't remember doing this...
The problem is do i keep it secret, or tell him what happened and hope he believes me, but if i tell him, whether he believes me or not, he might then not want to know me... im in desperate need of advice if someone could please...
I think about him all the time, every min of the day and am always thinking ahead to when it may be possible to meet up again. The problem is im not 100% sure if he knows why im always phoning him and want to hang out all the time, i think he has an idea but im not sure..
Anyway i had him over to watch a movie at mine, he'd already been drinking before he arrived and we had some drinks at mine too... i asked if i could sit next to him on the bed, he said yeh so i said move across... Anyway we shared bottles of beer etc keep passing them between us. I asked if he was cold, he said yes so i got a blanket over us... we were side by side pressed against each other and then i looked over and he had a full bottle of beer and started downing it, i laughed and followed his example soon after he moved his foot over mine and then moved his hand down to my pants and started to give me a handjob, i was frozen in amazement for a bit, but then started to do the same to him, then when i was doing it back he sat up and tried to undo my trousers... i thought he felt the same way and it was very exciting, i was huging him etc pretty soon later he passed out and i've asked him when he woke up and the next day about things other than this, over the course of the night, he says he can't remember things and im pretty sure he won't remember doing this...
The problem is do i keep it secret, or tell him what happened and hope he believes me, but if i tell him, whether he believes me or not, he might then not want to know me... im in desperate need of advice if someone could please...
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I'd suggest that you dont bring it up, you'll just embaress the bloke.
If he's into you then he will try again, just continue as you were.
Continue with your friendship and dont act any different around him. He must've trusted you to drink that much around you (i.e. knowing that he was unlikely to remember much if he drunk that much, and trusting you wouldnt say anything?)
If he likes you this may happen again, in which case, try to slow down the drinking, sober up abit and have a chat maybe!
SBG
I have totally understood your advice and im so pleased you responded so quickly as i may of acted unaccordingly without your guidance...
so basically i will go along as i have been... i think your right he must at least trust me...
I hope this happens again...
thank you very much for the advice you just gave...
he culda been drunk, and thats why, its called being friendly, we've all done it
however he may have issues with his sexuality
perhaps next time get less drunk, so he'll be tipsy but he wont be so sober that he'll clam up so you can get in a tipsy convo which are often quite good
The day after it happened i mentioned on the phone that i wanted to speak to him in private and he asked what about and i said it said i had to meet him, then i got your advice to act normal, so i wasn't any further persistant and didn't meet to bring it up... He hasn't however asked me what it was about since.. probably forgotten
And im still wondering, hoping this long afterwards. We've still not had a chance to hang out again since, he is always doing something else...
I hope to sort this next time get some time together. Whenever that is..
Further words of advice would be appreciated...
It is pretty obvious to me he has gay tendancies and is most likely confused by it all. I can't see anyone who is 100% straight wanking a lad off just because they were pissed.
So I think he has a thing for you and is maybe slightly embarrased by it and the drink just opened him up. I also believe with what bongbudda said that him not remembering is probably a lie and he ii maybe just a little bit confused by it all.
Hope it goes well.
I'd guess he's probably really embarrassed and confused, is denying it until he sorts himself out or maybe until he next gets the chance to relax. Maybe he has a hard job of dealing with his sexuality to the point where he can only really relax and forget it by having a drink?
But i need some help again.. *sad*
another problem is, i feel , depressed whenever i hang out with my friends, or i want to hurry it up and them to go away just so i can phone him and ask whether he's free to hang out..
Dont phone him so often, its hard but you may well end up annoying him if you phone too often.
Good luck.
:yes:
Its tough but I'd not phone him, not contact him, just basically leave the situation for a week or so, see how things pan out.
Its grim I know, when you fancy someone its hard to be rational.
It has the potential to get a lot uglier, so you're best to cut and run for a bit.
Good luck.
Especially if that person isnt all that nice because it gives them a lot of power.
I hate the way he ignores me though when in the presence of this other guy. We've hung out sober before and been friends and talking to each other, however this was before the incident..
What can you read from this?
When he was drunk his defences were down and he was only with you, therefore he can act them out.
Now he knows that he has acted on them, he feels like he wants to put the genie back in the bottle, to take back what he did because he sees it as wrong (which it isnt).
But, he cant, same as he probably cant supress forever his urges and therefore he is taking it out on you, the easiest target rather than actually looking at himself.
If he can blame you he doesnt have to accept his part in the situation.
If I were you I'd cut my losses and not persue it. Your not going to forget his actions towards you now and even if you go get together they will haunt the relationship.
But thats just my view.
I keep asking him "are we still friends?" and he says yes... To be honest i think he's scared of me becuase i come across serious about this whole thing.. my other friend who he was talking to loads is very loud and open and done some things, but has had quite a few girlfriends..
I want to at least be friends if i can...
speaking as someone who struggled for years with gay urges it sounds to me that he's feeling so confused about himself he almost sees you as a threat as your the person he can act out the urges he is scared of with
hope that makes sense
Phoenix
Anyway i was talking to my friend (lets call him him Bob), and we drank quite a bit and i was sat next to him on the sofa and he started to kiss me, what the fuck? this guy has a girlfriend, and i liked it, we did it quite a few times. But i think he started it, but anyway he asked me whether i was into boys or girls, and then was like "it's cool if you like boys, its cool...", i didn't answer i just kept listening and i doubt anyone heard anything becuase we were completely close together, and you know what partys are like with music and stuff. But then he was like saying he was half gay and stuff.. Anyway he kissed me again, and then he asked me whether i liked the guy, i didn't answer.. but it brings some more interesting thoughts to mind... he's obviously talked to "him" about me, i would guess...
This is so weird, but cool... any thoughts...??
I can't possibly know the full situation, but this sounds very dodgy. I'd tread carefully.
As hunnypot said it sounds dodgy
Phoenix
Anyways sounds like a tought situation to be in and i hope it goes well
.matt
When someone cuts off your call, it is VERY likely that they don't want to speak to you. Which also suggests that he definitely doesn't want to see you in a relationship way and it looks like it may be going badly for your friendship status.
Leave it, and move on.
queenmab_roo im feeling that may be the case, but i want to be friends at least..
But I think unless you hold off the calls, the texts everything for a while then you stand the risk of loosing his friendship altogether.
hugs
Phoenix
for a while anyway...