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I take offence at that, i have a almost 5 month old baby, he ALREADY has a very bad temper on him. Are you saying that he has this because of me?! I would like to know how i would have made him into a very bad tempered little boy (only on occasions) in such a short time?!
I disagree with that comment, when James is older if i see fit for him to get a smack will help him learn that what he did was wrong then i will, obviously only in certain circumstances.
I don't think that makes me a bad parent at all.
I was smacked as a child also, i am in no way violent to anyone infact i am very much the opposite.
i spent all day on this forum yesterday arguing, how sad!
you are in no way to blame, he is an individual. We have cheeky babies, we have cute babies, we have babies who cry lots of the time and we have babies that sleep etc.
Babies come with their own personality and if James has a bad temper then he must take after his Dad
wheremyplacebo, you didnt argue...........debated sounds better
Yes yus thats it
strange that is
i totally agree with you becky. in reading this thread i kept thinking and getting annoyed with various arguments from other posters and then a bit further down there would be a reply from you saying exactly what i was thinking!
paranoia.
I am saying that if youve been brought up being smacked, then sometimes you just do what your parents did without thinking because thats what comes naturally. Sometimes it might be harder for these parents to adjust and it will need support to make the transition to other forms of discipline and guidance - I was actually acknowleging that its not a case of bad parenting as such, but more like just a culture that continues and it wont be all that easy to just stop for some people. Parenting classes may or may not help, but they should be available for those that feel they cant cope without being able to smack.
Can but hope. Apparently the star sign doesnt help, strong minded an all.
I think your point about different children having different skin sensitivities, and thats an excellent valid point. I must say that I see that as a reason for banning it outright rather than leaving a halfway mark that might work for sensitive skinned white children, but youre not going to see a thing on a black child.
I agree with you that it would be terrible to prosecute parents for an occasional slap. Im sure most parents have done it, and it would be completely outrageous for them to be criminalised. I have argued the same point myself in the past, but all evidence from the other countries where they have banned smacking has shown that there isnt an increase in prosecutions, noone actually gets prosecuted for one off incidents. None of the worries that people had have actually materialised. Child abuse rates have gone down because it gives a clear message to what is and what isnt acceptable. People arent given half hearted messages like here saying oh its OK as long as it doesnt leave a mark.
The reason why its hard to enforce the child abuse laws as they stand is because there is always the defence of `reasonable chastisement`. If they ban smacking or regulate the boundaries, then there isnt that defence anymore. Child abusers cant get away with saying I did it because he was naughty.
I actually argued a lot of the same points as you did on a seperate forum recently, but Ive had my mind changed. Im not against people who do give an occasional smack. Its the action I dont like, not the people.
creative, musical funny and a bit eccentric :cool:
sorry, i misinterpreted what you said but it has been implied by some people in this debate.
James is an Aquarius, if hes anything like my sister eek! hehe
Children who grow up in an environment where smacking is the norm grow up to be parents who see nothing wrong with smacking. Children who grow up in an environment where there is no smacking are appalled at the thought of it when they are parents. It's why corporal punishment will be seen as a heinous and barbaric primeval act within a generation.
Young children and toddlers are a law unto themselves, but when children mature generally their behaviour is learned from parents and other role models. Hence why chauvinists breed chauvinists.
I agree with rainbow brite- it is the action that is distasteful, not the person doing it. Using violence, however slight, to control another person is wrong on so many levels, and no amount of "it never did me any harm" arguments will change that. The cane never did most people any harm, but it is still barbaric, cruel, and outdated in a modern society.
There are ways of controlling children without hitting them.
I still see nothing wrong with it in the right circumstances.
kermit i do agree with your own perspective, but just because i was brought up with a very smack, doesnt make me any less right than you...
being hit by a cane is very different to an occasional, not even that, a rare smack
and a smack isnt there to injure or cause abuse as shown below from the merriam webster dictionary site, and either of those is illegal anyway these days under child abuse, as it isnt reasonable chastisement
Main Entry: vi·o·lence
Pronunciation: 'vI-l&n(t)s, 'vI-&-
Function: noun
1 a : exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse (as in effecting illegal entry into a house) b : an instance of violent treatment or procedure
2 : injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation : OUTRAGE
There is no definitive answer. Some people believe it is acceptable for a parent to hit a child who is not "behaving", some people believe it is not.
However the facts are that if I "tapped" an adult on the bottom for not "behaving" I would be liable for battery. Children should be treated as mini adults, and as such should be protected from battery for whatever reason, just as adults are.