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smacking
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3868561.stm
as you can read there has been a ban on hard smacks
all i wonder is that, all it'll do is stop actual normal parents givin reasonable chastisement to kids, whilst the parents who abuse their kids will continue doing so
surely it was more of a case of better enforcement of existing laws than to actually increase the legal confusion even more by keeping gentle slaps legal
as you can read there has been a ban on hard smacks
all i wonder is that, all it'll do is stop actual normal parents givin reasonable chastisement to kids, whilst the parents who abuse their kids will continue doing so
surely it was more of a case of better enforcement of existing laws than to actually increase the legal confusion even more by keeping gentle slaps legal
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I am allowed to smack my child if he or she does not behave, but if an adult does not behave as I want them to it would be a battery for me to do so.
Either I can smack anyone I want if they do not "behave", or I can't smack any.
Good parents don't need to smack.
Keep in mind that I'm far from being a parent (and so are you, remember this) so I'm only using my imagination and my reason here. Not experience with children.
So im a bad parent ?
I have smacked in the past and have had no qualms about doing it , we are talking 'smack' not beating.
My view is that people have children and they are NOT given any or very little advice as to how to be a parent. We all see these gorgeous babies and oh how cute they are.........but you dont see them when they are having a terrible two's tantrum. People dont see the stress that some parents can suffer and when you have told a child 20 times to stop doing something (that could be dangerous to themselves) it is as a last resort to smack.
Its ok people here saying smacking is wrong, come back and tell me the same in 10 years time when you have had children.............maybe your view will have changed.
Im a good parent, I teach her right from wrong. I make sure she does homework, I make sure she respects her elders, I make sure she uses manners etc etc.
A 2yr old in the street screaming and just kicking his legs in the air. Your stood there feeling very embarrased and no matter what you do they will not stop kicking their legs and screaming on the top of their voice. The child has been up since 6am and this is 2pm and he is very tired which means he is bound to be more stroppy and your very stressed out because they have been like this all day.
WHAT are you going to do ?
I don't think my view will have changed. My parents never smacked and their view remains unchanged.
Walk away. I've seen it work on so many occassions.
To be honest a lot of it depends what kind of child you actually have. If you have a 'little angel' I can understand that you probably wouldnt need to smack, but if you have a child who is very demanding and quite tempremental then you 'may' need to ocassionaly smack.
My view is that just because you smack a child does not mean your a 'bad' parent.
I personally believe that the 'type' of child you have depends on how you bring them up in the first place. A lot depends on environment.
easier said than done !!
Ive walked away myself and left our Becks screaming, she just layed there and didnt budge and the more she screamed the hyper she got.
Dont forget I stated the child had been like this all day, thats from the child getting up at 6am and now its 2pm. Your at breaking point, your stressed out and even when you walk away the child still remains screaming and kicking on the floor. Also another thing to think about is that you may have a doctors appointment for 2:15 and your getting more stressed because the child wont budge.
It sounds as though im exaggerating but this can happen, it has to myself and i know it really did stress me out....although I didnt smack because I was in the town and I wasnt going to show myself up anymore than Becks had already done. I could feel everyone staring at me and it was a nightmare.
The occasion im talking about i eventually got hold of her and literally got hold of her hand and walked off, not even looking or speaking to her.
Eventually she clamed down.
Sorry you just have to look at a family, they could have a well behaved 7 year old and has been the perfect child. The 7 yr old has slept every night since 6 weeks old and just been the most pleasurable child you could ask for. They go onto have another child who is a nightmare. Thats nothing to do with the parenting thats the childs received, they treat the child in the same way but this child wont sleep, is always tired gets very stroppy and is a general nightmare child.
Ive seen it with my own eyes, so really what you said does not always apply.
I dont believe you can.
I think it is REALLY hard dealing with that sort of situation, and I know what its like to reach the end of your tether and WANT to smack your child, but I still dont think it teaches them a good lesson, I dont think it works, and I dont think it is the best thing to do. I know about the frustration bit all too well though being as my son is only 3 and goes through all the normal toddler behaviour. I have actually recently started the `naughty chair` and I must say it seems to work better than smacking. Smacking just makes him scream more, adding to the frustration and stress of the situation - not solving it.
I didnt smack, I eventually got hold of her and just got away quickly. Smacking in that instance in my opinion wouldnt have worked. What I was trying to show people there was some of the issues which can happen with a toddler. Its to let people see how easy it is for parents to lose their rag and to actually smack. Some people seem to think everything is a bunch of roses and we all have very good children, children who never winge and moan all day etc. Sometimes when a child has been playing up all day it 'can' really get to a parent and like the child taking a temper tantrum in the town, then going home in a stroppy mood and decides he is going to throw his tea all over the floor etc (just an example), just shows you it is not as easy as it sounds.
At 3 he is at a better age because he 'does' understand what the naughty chair is, but if you do that say to a 12 month old baby then they dont. So you may tap their hand for going to touch the cooker or something like that. As ive said here many times I now dont 'need' to smack, she is old enough to understand but when she was younger she didnt.
like how much redness is it until its bad etc
i was smacked rarely as a child but when i was it was with a purpose - to show me what i had done was completly stupid/dangerous
Nobody is likely to get prosecuted for an isolated slap, but here they are saying that smacking is wrong, its a strong message.
ANY redness or marking of the skin means it was too hard.
Are you saying that anything else is NOT abuse then? or is that just a warped sense of humour emerging?
they have an entirely different culture you cant compare one factor and one result fairly
what about black kids, itd take more power to make skin red :rolleyes:
AND its just that its a stupid law too, theres laws to prevent child abuse as it stands already, different people can take different amounts of injury before showing marks, its such a subjective law its unfair as ive said before - parents who are abusing their kids, will continue doing so! how would you suggest they police it? surely better enforcement of existing laws is a better idea!?
and if smacking causes emotional and mental problems, then surely the degree of physical assualt shouldnt matter!
theres so many ways of putting this i cant phrase it, my best one personally is
when the child is suffering over exagerated punishments for little to no reason
ie unreasonable chastisement for trivial situations
i was smacked very rarely as a child, but when done, it was done with a reason, and im quite sure it left a red mark, but it tauht me to never do that behaviour, at 5/6/7 i wouldnt have listened to reason so i think it was fair of my mum
and im a fairly unviolent respecting adult, dont even get violent drunk, i just get happier so cant be bad - takes a lot to make me angry
Parent: Junior you naughty boy you shouldn't hit! *smack*
A tad hypocritical and what is this teaching the child?
I think smacking only encourages violence.
Like someone said before a good parent shouldn't need to smack.
if people didnt resort to individual cases and sob stories, itd be so much easier to debate
but anyway in response
thats just a bad parent! if that was systematic it would be classified as abuse im sure
and having smacking illegal, theyd still probably do it, and more tactically done too, like those wife beater who know how and where to hit and hurt and as not to leave a single mark
most of the time bringing up a child is about judgement, as every situation is different so at one point theres going to be a time when smacking wil lpossibly be the most effective option for stopping that form of bad behaviour
think about it.
Its actually only a fairly recent thing that it IS illegal for a man to hit his wife, and all the reasons people give now for hitting children are the same reasons people used to give for hitting their wives. Wives were seen as the property of the husband. its literally only in the last few decades (if that) that it was perfectly legal for a man to hit his wife (reasonable chastisement) and rape her (shes his property so he can do what he likes) If another man raped a woman it was seen as a crime against the womans husband (for violating his property) or her father (if she was unmarried).
I find it interesting that the people who were smacked as children here often say `well I asked for it`. And also a lot of victims of domestic violence say the same thing (and really believe it) `oh well its my fault, I was winding him up`. People have a way of trying to protect the ones they love. Nobody wants to believe their parents did the wrong thing, I know I wouldnt if it was me.
you cant compare apples and orange though
honestly though, with the wife beating situation, NO-ONE benefitted from it WHATSOEVER! there was also no reason to hit your wife in first place
with the smacking of a child very rarely its a necessery evil, i dont like seeing parents hit their kids constant and shout abuse at them, as that is setting a terrible example
but there are times when bringing up a child when a gentle/medium smack is needed... if a parents reckons they going to bring a child smack free good for them, but a very occasional smack for a good reason is sometimes whats needed IMO
there used to be no laws to protect wives from their husbands, with children, there is a such thing as child abuse laws which in my opinion should be more enforced
i was smacked VERY rarely as a child and it was for good reasons, my mum never hit me for trivial reasons, she only smacked me when a shock punishment was required for something i actually done wrong, all in all about 6/7 times she smacked me i think - im not aggressive towards anyone, only if someones overtly agressive to me
and im quite happy to tell my mum if shes in the wrong and to explain why, she doesnt like it, but she jus gets pissed off like anyone does if you prove them wrong
if causing mild physical harm is so bad, not giving them evening dinner or snacks as a punishment can give them a stomach ache, and that can be worse than the short shock of getting a smack!!!
I would argue that noone benefits from hitting children, certainly not the child, I cant think of any real benefit. It is a method of chastisement certainly, but its a violent method, and there are other better methods that dont involve physical violence - why smack?
and since when did not letting a child have snacks cause stomach aches?