Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 01.12.25

Leyla

This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.

Leyla

From @Cutelivejazz before the last thread closed:
TW Body Dysmorphia:

I feel like shit. I hate my body and everything abt it i look at all the other girls and theyre so pretty and elegant and im jusy fucking not. I hate my body i keeo telling myself im gonna excerise i do it once or twice then give up or do extreme excersie sessions where my body cramps rly bad the day after and then i give up thinking that 1 excirase is gonna fix everything well its fycking not and in tires of hearing ppl say "oh but you shoud just love yourself 🤭🎀" well its easy for you to say when your not the one who is fucking disgusted by yourself

Cutelivejazz

Sorry abt the post

Nemuritai

Cutelivejazz wrote: »

Sorry abt the post

@Cutelivejazz there's no need to apologise for sharing, you're more than welcome to whenever you'd like and your feelings matter just as much as anyone else's. I must admit I'm not the best person to give any advice since I struggle to some degree with body dysmorphia as well, but I totally hear you, and I'm sorry you feel that way.

I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to remember that your personality or skills can be just as beautiful as physical appearance, if not more so. I've heard that it can be useful also to think about all the things the human body is able to do, like playing sports etc, to help take your mind off of worrying about looks or appearance. Like I said, I do understand that it's easier said than done, and I know comparison is really difficult, but I hope this could help even a little. Please take care of yourself, you really do deserve it

Nemuritai

I'm just feeling kind of overwhelmed lately because I've been trying to tell my parents about having suicidal thoughts but their reaction is always to minimise it and say I should 'just spend more time with them' even though that's pretty triggering to be honest and usually makes me feel a lot worse. I'm grateful I can share my feelings here - it's just hard since I wish my own parents would listen, but it seems they're not very good at acknowledging emotions. My family isn't the kind of family that ever really talks about emotions, which is hard when I just want to tell them how much I'm struggling. I don't usually feel like I'd ever act on those thoughts, but nonetheless it sucks them being there at all, and it can be overwhelming. I guess the evening is the worse time - it's also just a lot harder around Christmas and everything, since this is the season for fun and happy families, and I feel like my situation has been so different that it feels a bit alienating this time of year. I apologise for the long rant.

Verity

Hey @Nemuritai I hear you, it must be really difficult trying to communicate this and feeling like there is a barrier or misunderstanding, but it is great that you tried/are trying. Discussing emotions isn't always easy with everyone unfortunately, but it's really great to hear that you feel comfortable sharing your emotions here, you deserve to be heard and understood. I'm sorry to hear you feel alienated, that can't be a nice feeling for anyone especially at this time of the year. We will have Support and General chat's running throughout the christmas period and it would be great to see you there if you can.

Just so I understand better and please don't feel obliged to answer if you don't feel comfortable, woul you say you have these thoughts you mentioned often, or would you say it is more occasionally?

I hope you are feeling better since yesterday and remember to use the community for support, we are here to listen.

Nemuritai

Hey there @Verity, thank you for the reply. I really appreciate being heard. It's difficult to explain but I've had thoughts about not wanting to be here anymore since I was a lot younger, they've kind of been on and off though. Sometimes the thoughts aren't really there or just kind of in the background, but other times like recently they feel louder and more overwhelming. I don't really know why they're there exactly, I suppose things at home have been quite difficult in the past, though I'd rather not go into detail about that right now.

I would absolutely go to the support and general chats if it were possible, however due to having parental controls on my device I'm not able to. I will however try to use the support threads here when I can, and being able to chat on the boards has been so helpful as well.