i just would love a hug 💔 (potential trigger warning)

eylah

i mean that was ages ago that msg 🤣 and im still in hospital until next monday. but i had a rough day yesterday bc i got rly unwell but im okay now but was scary tbh that two meds could do such a thing. but the duty doctor was rly kind and helpful.

sinead276

in case you needed on today: here's a hug

eylah

day leave went rly horribly wrong. back at my flat now but it went wrong. glad ive been discharged though.

eylah

having a rly hard day keep putting of texting shout bc i am trying my best to keep going and im scared if i msg shout then they might call someone but i know their policy is stricter now so im trying to think positive abt them. but my mind is fuzzled and is a lot to handle . im suicidal but im safe and am just walking along the beach as its calm .

Katie

@eylah sending you hugs today

Shout are there for you if you do decide to reach out to them, and you might find that talking to someone right now might help a little? It sounds like you might be feeling quite overwhelmed and please know you don't have to feel this on your own. In terms of their policy, it's to make sure you're safe and to prevent you from being at immediate risk of harm. If they did take any action, it's because they have a duty of care and don't want anything happening to you. The community are also here for you Eylah!

Thank you for letting us know you are safe right now, but I hear that you are have suicidal thoughts.
If your thoughts do change Eylah and you start to feel like you can't keep yourself safe, like if you start thinking about plans or intentions, I've popped a few signposts down below for you:

If you did feel at any point that you were going to act on thoughts of suicide, then we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you.

If you're unable to call emergency services, you can Text 999. You first need to register your mobile by texting "register" to 999. Once registered, you can text the service whenever you need urgent help. You should then get a reply within two minutes either stating that help is on its way or that they need more information. If you don't hear back within 3 minutes, try again.

Papyrus have a HOPELINE247 which is a confidential support and advice service for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide or for anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide. You can call them on 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. Their webchat service is available when there is a chat bubble available on their website, this indicates that an adviser is available to talk to on webchat. They are available 24/7 and their suicide prevention advisers are ready to support you. For more details, visit https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-hopeline247/

I also find that walking along the beach can be really calming, especially when you can hear the sounds of the water and the birds up above. I wonder if being by the beach might feel a little bit grounding for you as you navigate your mind feeling fuzzled?

I'm so glad you're here with us Eylah Please do keep reaching out

eylah

thank you @Katie i spoke to a helpline i never used before and they were rly kind and non judgmental. im just walking home now but rly appreciate everything you’ve said to me. i got a pic or the sunset it looks rly pretty

Orchid059

How beautiful @eylah

eylah

i texted shout and the person was so unhelpful and did not listen or even seem to care. idk why shout hire ppl like that im never using them again bc its same with papryus other night being told horrible stuff by a worker all bc i dont want to call 999 is horrible. i hate these helplines.

* i don’t need 999 now i just woke up and feel angry at shout. im safe *

Lottie5433

I'm sorry to hear that @eylah, always here if you need ❤️
I've had the same issues with shout and papyrus 😕
Glad your feeling safe though ❤️

TheNightmare

eylah wrote: »

i texted shout and the person was so unhelpful and did not listen or even seem to care. idk why shout hire ppl like that im never using them again bc its same with papryus other night being told horrible stuff by a worker all bc i dont want to call 999 is horrible. i hate these helplines.

* i don’t need 999 now i just woke up and feel angry at shout. im safe *

@eylah That’s really sad to hear you were treated like that by Shout and Papyrus. You deserve support that actually helps, not makes things worse. I’m always here for you if you ever want to talk. I'm glad you're safe. Take it easy today.

eylah

thank you both im just angry more at shout bc they’re supposed to support ppl but actually do the opposite. i have had one person be to kind but the rest are just awful and i wish they made another text service bc this is just ridiculous by the helplines failing ppl. might sound harsh but its the truth.

TheNightmare

eylah wrote: »

thank you both im just angry more at shout bc they’re supposed to support ppl but actually do the opposite. i have had one person be to kind but the rest are just awful and i wish they made another text service bc this is just ridiculous by the helplines failing ppl. might sound harsh but its the truth.

I agree, it is ridiculous from these helplines that are meant to support people make people feel worse. They shouldn't take on people who are awful and you don't sound too harsh, what you're saying is true.

Lottie5433

I echo that.
I know alot of people find samaritains to be hit or miss with how supportive they are, but currently I prefer them as a support option as I know they can't do anything due to the anonymity.
Hope you get some much needed support, sending hugs 🫂

eylah

i tried samaritans a few times and recent time the women was quite rude and i hate them now so i have noone to talk to rly and i don’t like papryus as they just tell you to call 999 like shout does so i just keep everything to myself.

Lottie5433

i completely understand where your coming from - some samaritains can be rude and not much help. i also hear what you say about papayrus, as sometimes we dont need 999, we just need someone who can just bring the level of intensity down. You shouldnt have to feel like you need to keep everything to yourself

eylah

yeah last time the women was rude telling me i was being stubborn and reluctant apparently all bc i was refusing to call 999 on myself bc i didnt need 999 i just needed someone to listen to me. so i don’t use papryus anymore.

TheNightmare

eylah wrote: »

i tried samaritans a few times and recent time the women was quite rude and i hate them now so i have noone to talk to rly and i don’t like papryus as they just tell you to call 999 like shout does so i just keep everything to myself.

Im here you need someone to talk to and if that helps but up to you, I know sometimes it might be easier with a specific person ❤️. I'm sorry that woman was rude to you though.

shannon_164

hey @eylah 🙂

i’m so sorry you’ve had such negative experiences with helplines - you didn’t deserve to be treated that way! i know negative experiences can be super off putting, and i’m not at all trying to dismiss what you feel in any way as how you feel is so so valid though maybe it would be a good idea, whenever you feel ready to, to try those helplines again? ofc it’s your decision, and whatever you decide is right for you is ok, though i know from experience whenever i said i would never ever use samaritans again after how a call went and i then did one night and the girl i spoke to was the most loveliest person ive ever came across, she genuinely was so supportive and i still remember that call months later - they’re not all bad for sure, but they’re definitely not all helpful either!

remember, im always always always here for you if you ever want to talk about anything! you’re doing so amazingly eylah and i really am so so proud of you - you’ve got this, i believe in you

eylah

i have tried multiple times with shout & papryus and it just is the same each time especially with shout when you refuse to call 999 on yourself they get annoyed at that and end the chat so re trying isn’t a option.

rly need somewhere to reach out to today but obviously there isn’t anywhere bc they dont listen .

TheNightmare

eylah wrote: »

i have tried multiple times with shout & papryus and it just is the same each time especially with shout when you refuse to call 999 on yourself they get annoyed at that and end the chat so re trying isn’t a option.

rly need somewhere to reach out to today but obviously there isn’t anywhere bc they dont listen .

Im sorry to hear this stuff what you're experiencing, the support groups are back on at 8pm tonight hopefully but also here's some other places.

This one don't open to 7pm sadly
https://www.myblackdog.co/

This one don't open till 5pm unfortunately but it's open every day from then until midnight
https://www.thecalmzone.net/

There's Kooth here too which open at 12pm so about 2 hours when posting this
https://www.kooth.com/

shannon_164

i hear you @eylah and how you feel is so so valid

i’ve just added a few helplines here in case they are helpful for you:

kelly’s heroes: 6pm-10pm

kooth: 12pm-10pm

calm: 5pm-midnight

suicide prevention uk: 6pm midnight

sos: 8pm-midnight

knus: 24/7

always here for you

eylah

im trying shout one more time bc ive tried every helpline possible. also kooth is for under 19s so im to old . but shout is saying ive been msging to much i texted on sunday so im not.. im hoping it actually is beneficial this chat as i cant cope with someone who is rude.

shannon_164

@eylah kooth is actually for anyone aged 11-25 so you should be able to access kooth still?

i really hope that you have a positive experience with shout - you’re so so deserving of support

TheNightmare

@eylah echoing what @shannon_164 said, I use kooth and I'm 20s so you will probably he welcome to use that if you need. Good luck with shout.

eylah

sign up says 2006 under.. so im 2005 so wont let me ill have another look but will see

eylah

sign up for kooth is 2006 under just had a look

shannon_164

thats strange? i just checked now and it shows right up to 1999 as they’re an 11-25 year old service

eylah

it showed it now for me to. but i used them when i was younger so i cant use them again plus i dont have that account anymore. or can i?

shout was pretty meh to so im alone with my thoughts.

shannon_164

you can use them still - i know if you have structured support with them (have an allocated worker) then you are unable to use that’s for 3 months but can still use the messaging service, if you just do drop in chats then you can use them for as long as needed.

i’m only a message away if you want to talk about anything

Lottie5433

Hi,
Just a follow on from the information about Kooth, there is a sister platform called Qwell that is aimed at those who out grow Kooth or do not fit in the support area of Kooth.
Just wanted to put that put there
Hope you get the help you need