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i just would love a hug 💔 (potential trigger warning)

13

Comments

  • shannon_164shannon_164 Posts: 540 Incredible Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    need a hug 💔

    i know it’s not the same but sending you the biggest virtual hug ever rn eylah - im always here if you need🩷
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    aww thankyou @Riley_2001 @shannon_164 your replies rly made me smile thankyou both <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    Sounds like there's been a huge amount going on, @eylah and it's so valid that these appointments may feel emotionally-draining. Feels like you're doing your very best to be reaching out for help from different sources, which is amazing. I hope that after your final meeting today you can have some time this evening to decompress <3 We are all here rooting for you and wanting to listen!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Sounds like there's been a huge amount going on, @eylah and it's so valid that these appointments may feel emotionally-draining. Feels like you're doing your very best to be reaching out for help from different sources, which is amazing. I hope that after your final meeting today you can have some time this evening to decompress <3 We are all here rooting for you and wanting to listen!

    the meeting was yesterday not today but im seeing mh team tmr again probably bc its the weekend and they want me to be safe. but just had bloods done at the gp bc i hate the hospital & i trust my gp. but im still waiting for a psychiatric bed in my local mh hospital but im just drained rn im trying not to relapse bc i feel bad for when i do bc my dr finds out and i appreciate her to pieces and i feel rly bad when she gets a ppn or a letter from ambo it just hurts bc im causing her to be worried etc. im just sat here trying to stop crying but i cant. 💔 i give up rly 💔
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    idk why ppl think its ok to say shit abt my mum who passed . ( no one here) my so called mate :/ shes been utterly fucked up abt my mum and its pissing me off bc i am having a meltdown breakdown rn and i am finding it hard and having her messaging me shit it’s to much man :heartbreak: why cant everything just go back to fucking normal :cry:

    sry.. just need to vent lol i have no where else to cry.. sry :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    feeling like im gonna pass out :/. i hate panic attacks :/.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Posts: 540 Incredible Poster
    we’re here for you @eylah 🫶🏻🫶🏻
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    thankyou @shannon_164 it just hurts :/. i hate pain after a panic attack. was in shower trying to make myself feel better but started having a panic attack and now im in pain and feel rly faint :/.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Posts: 540 Incredible Poster
    @eylah i can’t imagine how hard that must feel for you:( sending so much love your way🩷
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    struggling again today i give up with feeling like this constantly :( im safe
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    We're here alongside you, @eylah , even if through this little corner of the Internet. I'm so sorry that you're struggling again today. You deserve so much relief from this and so much more lightness. Keep us posted, and please let us know if there's anything spefic we can be doing more of or less or to support you right now <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    just anxious rly especially abt tmr bc my mh nurse is coming tmr and i dont want to let her in bc she will ask how my weekend has been.. and im to scared to tell her anything abt my weekend bc then it wont be gd :( especially with what happened last time i told htt abt what happened. :( its shit bc I can’t cancel her bc she wont let me its just shit. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    it didnt go to plan :heartbreak: i didnt let her in bc i was scared :/. and now im sat here trying not to listen to the sh thoughts. i feel like a shitty person for not letting her in. i rly needed to talk to someone to and now im sat here alone bc i didn’t let her in this morning :(. why am i a fucking idiot :/ im safe im just scrolling tiktok to distract myself from sh thoughts.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • MaiaMaia Moderator Posts: 436 Listening Ear
    Big hugs being sent your way tonight @eylah <3

    It's okay to have felt scared, Eylah. Letting people in and showing them our most vulnerable self is so difficult, especially when you're worried about what they might say and ask. Is there another way to reach out to your MH nurse if you wanted to? Perhaps, if you did want to tell her about how you're feeling, it would feel easier to write it down?

    I'm hearing that those sh thoughts are really loud right now @eylah and while i'm really happy to hear that you're safe, I understand how difficult this must be feeling for you. I'm going to link some services in a spoiler below incase you need any extra support tonight
    CALM- There’s an organisation called CALM which offers help, information and advice to anyone. The CALM helpline is open everyday from 5pm-12am (midnight) on 0800 58 58 58. You can webchat with them via their website, and find out more about them at www.thecalmzone.net

    SHOUT - Our Crisis Messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, and are experiencing a personal crisis, are unable to cope and need support, you can text THEMIX to 85258. Their trained volunteer will introduce themselves, reflect on what you’ve said, and invite you to share at your own pace. You’ll text back and forth, only sharing what you feel comfortable with.

    DISTRACT - There's a free mobile app called distrACT, it's available on the App Store (Apple) and Google Play (Android). The app gives you easy, quick and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The content has been created by doctors and experts in self-harming and suicide prevention. You can find out more here.

    METOO - There is a free mobile app called MeeToo, you can get it on the App Store (Apple) or Google Play (Android). The MeeToo app provides a safe and secure forum for 11-25 year olds wanting to discuss any issue affecting their lives. You can anonymously get advice from experts or other teenagers going through similar experiences in areas such as mental health, self-harming, relationships and friendships. You can find out more here: www.https://www.meetoo.help/.

    SELF INJURY SUPPORT - There’s an organisation called Self-Injury Support which provides emotional support and information for women and girls in distress, especially those who self-harm. You can call them for free on 0808 800 8088 or text them on 07537 432444 - the helpline is open Tuesday to Thursday from 7pm to 9:30pm. You can email them via their website at www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk. Through the website you can access a range of resources.


    We're here for you through this. Sending strength <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    @Maia thankyou <3 i can msg her but they arent sending :( but idk how to explain how i feel bc i dont know what i feel but im feeling rly strong shit and it is impacting me :(. but thankyou so much it means so much to me it does <3 ill do some art soon im just needing to get some sleep tonight and hopefully 🤞🏼 tmr i see my mh nurse tmr bc im rly struggling rn and i am wanting to know abt how the psych bed wait is to bc im getting tired waiting. thankyou so much again maia your the best <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    she just rang me and it wasnt gd :(. told her what happened over weekend abt what happened to me. ( idk if i can say bc of guidelines) but she was like do you wish that could happen again? i was like yes i do. shes now going to go talk to my psychiatrist and the other lead mh nurse abt me bc i dont want to go into hospital but she saying i need to. :/ i said i dont want to go in bc of stuff but shes saying i do bc they want to keep me safe :(. im getting a call from her later today but im just on edge now bc i said i dont want to go to hospital. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    edited January 15
    im at the psych ward. :/ im rly anxious my mh nurse managed to get a bed privately in a hospital out of county though in middle of nowhere. idk how to feel rn.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • Matthew_04Matthew_04 Moderator Posts: 227 Trailblazer
    Sending you big hugs right now Eylah <3
    How are you feeling now?
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    last night was so hard im finding it rly difficult here idk if i want to be here tbh. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,536 Boards Guru
    Sending hugs @eylah youre doing so well. We’re here for you 🫂🩷
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    edited January 16
    We're all here for you, @eylah. I can imagine being in a new space and on the psych ward might feel really daunting, and hard to feel in the middle of nowhere too. How are you finding staff there so far? <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    thankyou @AnonymousToe <3

    @Sian321 just spoke to this guy he was the consultant for the hospital im in rn and he’s putting me back on my antipsychotic medication that helped me before. he is saying ill be here for a few weeks which is gd bc thats what i was hoping for. i am now going to start a few sessions with a psychologist to which idk hopefully is gd then i am seeing a occupational therapist to so he was rly kind & sweet <3. idk last night was just rly hard probably bc first night in a environment im not used to but when i came in here there were horses in the grounds near me. ( im in a forest with lots of green ( so glad). but im hoping i come out of this stay safer then i was before bc i rly wanna try get better. <3 it feels like a weight of me bc i was trying to do so much but now its out of my hands. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    going for a walk in a few hours with a staff member here they’re all so nice. i think being here is gonna help me i don’t like hospitals but i think my mh team made the right decision. :) sry for posting again lol its just helping me <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    just had my antipsychotic meds for first time in a very while. hoping it makes me sleepy 😴.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    been put on a section 5.2 fml :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    Hey @eylah , it's so lovely to be able to read your posts and learn how you're getting on in your new placement. Sounds like a lot to be processing and lots of new people to meet too <3 I'm glad that staff are really kind. That's wonderful.

    How're you feeling about the section 5.2?
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    been a better day i think today? just took my last set of meds but hopefully tmr is a gd day
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Posts: 540 Incredible Poster
    @eylah i haven’t been on here much in the past week but i have been checking this thread to see how everything is for you!

    i’m really glad to hear that you’re getting support and that the staff seem to be kind to you - you really deserve that so so much eylah🩷

    i hope that things can start feeling better for you soon - pls don’t apologise for posting on here if it helps you!! we care about you🫶🏻

    always here for you x
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,826 Part of The Furniture
    aw thankyou beautiful @shannon_164 im just rly glad that my mh team decided me going into hospital for few weeks is a gd idea bc ive been sleeping well ive been eating well and finally able to have my meds i wasnt allowed in community bc of risk. thankyou so much im here for you to x
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp made by @Chloe234 ❤️
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