If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
looking into educational needs psychology assessment
shannonxg_
Posts: 257 The Mix Regular
i’m not sure who to talk to about this really so here i am:)
for so many years now i have been researching the likes of autism and adhd etc as i’ve always felt different. there’s so many things that i can remember doing / being like as a child and also many things ive been told about how i acted as a child that are all traits.
i did try to talk to my mum about it but she continually says how a teacher would have picked up on it when i was in school, 100% that CAN be the case, a teacher starts the process but that’s not always how it is, and there’s sooo many people who go undiagnosed until 18+ years old. i have really tried to get that point across and even gave like percentages of how many girls with autism go undiagnosed until 18+ years old for example (all info from charities for those with autism eg autism initiatives) and she still insists on a teacher would have picked up on it when i was in school.
i’ve never really spoken to any professional about it, just more or less kept it to myself. i had one counsellor who mentioned it once but nothing came from it as long story short she ended the sessions after a few weeks because “im a counsellor not a miracle worker” was her words, when i just said all i want is someone who is going to listen to me and not dismiss what i say which isn’t much to ask for really (especially from a counsellor who is meant to be listening anyways…?)
i then had a one off appointment with 2 youth workers from the education authority at the start of this month and it went really well, but they cannot offer ongoing support as the specific team in EA that they are from don’t currently have any workers in my area:( but it was honestly the most helpful appointment i’ve ever had!!
one of them had asked if i had ever been assessed for autism or adhd etc and i said no as i haven’t and she then said i should consider looking into it. both the youth workers agreed that i definitely should, so offered to write me a letter for my gp. she wrote that she is concerned that the symptoms i have displayed have been overlooked as they link closely to mental illness and they think that i potentially have additional learning needs, specifically adhd and that they would like me to be referred for an educational needs psychology assessment.
i only got the letter on wednesday, the same day i found out that cmht have discharged me and left me with no support. so much has happened since then and im not even sure about making a doctors appointment because as much as it would be helpful to know eventually as obviously the waitlists are soooo long for assessments n everything, i also am scared of it being a doctor i dont like, and also the whole mental health side of it too, i dont even want to speak about it to doctors again as it will just be another however many months going round in circles which is so so draining.
there is one gp who ive seen who has always been so so supportive and never once dismissed how i feel etc, but they always allocate me other gp’s, usually males which i dont even feel comfortable with:( i really struggle with phone calls and they aren’t at all accommodating with that, you can make an appointment on the website but its a fight between everyone and 5 appointments at 8:30am, they get taken so so quickly so i cant even get one that way. i’m over 16 so not that i have anyone who could help me, no one can do it on my behalf anyways as i haven’t signed forms to say anyone can.
i’m so scared about even asking even though i have the letter from the youth workers saying about it, as well as the fear over which gp it will be and also the phone call side of things. i would feel better about just going down and asking at reception for an appointment but they won’t even do that, they tell you that they can’t book it in advance so you just have to phone the next day at 8:30am. it’s so so frustrating, especially given the fact i make myself physically sick when it comes to phone calls.
i don’t even know why im posting this here, i guess to just ‘tell someone’ so to speak?
for so many years now i have been researching the likes of autism and adhd etc as i’ve always felt different. there’s so many things that i can remember doing / being like as a child and also many things ive been told about how i acted as a child that are all traits.
i did try to talk to my mum about it but she continually says how a teacher would have picked up on it when i was in school, 100% that CAN be the case, a teacher starts the process but that’s not always how it is, and there’s sooo many people who go undiagnosed until 18+ years old. i have really tried to get that point across and even gave like percentages of how many girls with autism go undiagnosed until 18+ years old for example (all info from charities for those with autism eg autism initiatives) and she still insists on a teacher would have picked up on it when i was in school.
i’ve never really spoken to any professional about it, just more or less kept it to myself. i had one counsellor who mentioned it once but nothing came from it as long story short she ended the sessions after a few weeks because “im a counsellor not a miracle worker” was her words, when i just said all i want is someone who is going to listen to me and not dismiss what i say which isn’t much to ask for really (especially from a counsellor who is meant to be listening anyways…?)
i then had a one off appointment with 2 youth workers from the education authority at the start of this month and it went really well, but they cannot offer ongoing support as the specific team in EA that they are from don’t currently have any workers in my area:( but it was honestly the most helpful appointment i’ve ever had!!
one of them had asked if i had ever been assessed for autism or adhd etc and i said no as i haven’t and she then said i should consider looking into it. both the youth workers agreed that i definitely should, so offered to write me a letter for my gp. she wrote that she is concerned that the symptoms i have displayed have been overlooked as they link closely to mental illness and they think that i potentially have additional learning needs, specifically adhd and that they would like me to be referred for an educational needs psychology assessment.
i only got the letter on wednesday, the same day i found out that cmht have discharged me and left me with no support. so much has happened since then and im not even sure about making a doctors appointment because as much as it would be helpful to know eventually as obviously the waitlists are soooo long for assessments n everything, i also am scared of it being a doctor i dont like, and also the whole mental health side of it too, i dont even want to speak about it to doctors again as it will just be another however many months going round in circles which is so so draining.
there is one gp who ive seen who has always been so so supportive and never once dismissed how i feel etc, but they always allocate me other gp’s, usually males which i dont even feel comfortable with:( i really struggle with phone calls and they aren’t at all accommodating with that, you can make an appointment on the website but its a fight between everyone and 5 appointments at 8:30am, they get taken so so quickly so i cant even get one that way. i’m over 16 so not that i have anyone who could help me, no one can do it on my behalf anyways as i haven’t signed forms to say anyone can.
i’m so scared about even asking even though i have the letter from the youth workers saying about it, as well as the fear over which gp it will be and also the phone call side of things. i would feel better about just going down and asking at reception for an appointment but they won’t even do that, they tell you that they can’t book it in advance so you just have to phone the next day at 8:30am. it’s so so frustrating, especially given the fact i make myself physically sick when it comes to phone calls.
i don’t even know why im posting this here, i guess to just ‘tell someone’ so to speak?
3
Comments
This means some people, especially autistic females, are diagnosed much later than other people. There are also neurodivergent females who are diagnosed in schools though (I was one of these!). It sounds really frustrating that all you want is to feel listened to - by professionals who should be listening - and yet you still do not feel heard.
Has anyone indicated a timeframe for the assessment at the moment? Could someone sit with you whilst you make the call - would that help at all? I am also aware that doodling whilst on the phone can help many of us whilst we are needing to make phone calls. I wish the world was more accommodating but we are just not there yet I am afraid.
Until the world is more accommodating though, there are always things which can help make difficult things more manageable!! These things are never too big or too small, whatever works best for us. Some also allow emails, rather than phone calls, is this something which might be possible or could one of the professionals who are recommending this call on your behalf / with you?
We are with you and feeling physically sick about phone calls is something I can certainly empathise with and continue to battle!! You aren't alone, even if this feels isolating with things not being set up the way you need (and deserve) them to be
it feels good to get it out!! i really did try to get that point across to my mum about how yes teachers can be the ones to start the process but not always, sometimes teachers won’t pick up on things leaving people going undiagnosed until 18+ years old.
i completely changed over night basically, nothing like major happened to cause me to struggle so much really (different things happened in my childhood like my dad abandoning me for example but no big major even as such when i really started struggling with suicidal thoughts etc) and my mum tells me all the time how something big did happen and i just don’t want to tell her - nothing happened, but she refuses to believe me. as a result of her feeling that something happened which caused me to change, she said about how sometimes people experience a traumatic event and then develop autism, i tried to explain autism is not something you can develop, if you have autism, you are born with it - even if you only get diagnoses at say 36 years old, you haven’t only had autism since around that time, you have ALWAYS had it, just not been diagnosed. of course though, i don’t know what i’m talking about i’m wrong.
the youth workers had just said how it would be highly likely waiting for years. i hear a lot of people talking about how long it takes too. and apparently waitlists in northern ireland are even longer than the rest of the uk too:(
i genuinely have nobody who could help me - the youth workers who have wrote the letter etc was just a one off thing as they don’t actually have any workers in my area currently for that specific team in EA.
a few times i have sent emails rather than phone calls and explain every single time how i have tried but cannot make a phone call hence why im emailing, they complain every single time. they used to have a messaging option on the website where you can make appointments (but there’s always maybe 5 appointments vs many people trying to book them so it’s impossible to get one) and order prescriptions etc but they then got rid of that which was really annoying because it was a way i could communicate without a phone call.
thank you for taking the time to read what i wrote and reply, i appreciate it laura🫶🏻
In the UK, there are less waiting lists for private assessments. Although these can be costly, there are also avenues for financial support to access these. Is there anything similiar where you are which might be possibilities?
The lack of support - at least ongoing support - sounds particularly difficult for you right now. Some resources you might find helpful are:
How do these sound? I know you don't have a diagnosis at the moment but they may still be able to support you through this process and, more generally, even without diagnosis. Quite a lot of services recognise there are barriers to diagnosis and are, therefore, still able to offer support.
Is talking to them about your communication needs/preferences/differences a possibility? I would hope this would be an option but I do recognise not everyone is there yet in terms of being this open I am afraid
at the moment i’m not working - i left my job as a result of my mental health. i’m not eligible for universal credit anymore as i went back into education. i can’t get any student support as you need to upload evidence of your household income, which my mum says she isn’t doing so that makes me unable to apply. i did speak to the student funding officers and they’ve said there is no way around it unless i do my course part time rather than full time, but then you’ve to pay for the fees to do the course so basically i can’t do my course part time (and i don’t even think my college offer the course as part time anyways). i am in the process of applying for PIP, especially as i now found out i have got a few diagnosis’s but i don’t know how it’s going to go. im really struggling with filling in the form and the only way to get help with that is to phone a place and make an appointment (which is done over the phone) - i hate how much my struggles with phone calls affect things.
i will have a look at them all and see, thank you🫶🏻
i have REALLY tried to communicate this with them, i have explained at appointments, at times when i have managed to phone, at times in prevention and also over emails. i literally just get ignored.
i even contacted simon community on friday night as i am on the verge of being homeless. the person kept coming back to me in emails (i specifically choose the email option rather than a phone call) saying to phone all these other places. i explained in EVERY email my issues around phone calls. eventually i just replied saying “i mean this in as nice a way as possible but if you are going to continue advising me to phone places when i have made it very clear that i struggle a lot with phone calls, to the point i make myself physically sick, then please do not respond to my emails” and yeah i never heard back from them since - i really want to email them and just ask does it mean i cannot access support then if i can’t make a phone call which isn’t very inclusive, especially given how they have an option of an online form / email but as always i just feel like the issue.
thank you so much for reading what i wrote and taking the time to reply to me, i appreciate it laura🫶🏻
I really hear you here Shannon and this is so true. Please don't test me on the statistic but I know there's a good chunk of people who don't receive a neurodiversity diagnosis until they're in adulthood, including a few of my friends. I think particularly with people masking and maybe not showing as noticeable symptoms, or coming under the term as "high functioning". We do know that neurodiversity is a spectrum, and how one person acts will not be the exact same as someone else. I also think it's particularly hard to change the mindset of people that think it's black or white. Just because you weren't diagnosed as a child doesn't make how you are feeling any less valid. Not everyone can get a diagnosis as a child, which doesn't make how you are feeling any less real for you. I'm sure you know more than me based on your own research you've been doing, but I just wanted to say I hear you loud and clear
This sounds really frustrating and so much to deal with. How are you holding up? I also wanted to ask if you feel comfortable sharing why your mum doesn't want to upload evidence of the household income? This is genuinely the standard practice for getting student loans as it just determines how much they can offer you based on the household income. You can find more information about the processes on the Government's website that might be able to answer any concerns or questions your mum has.
I'm also sorry to hear you're on the verge of being homeless Shannon. Do you have any support around you? You were so brave to reach out for support so I can only imagine how frustrating it was when they weren't listening to you. There are some other organisations that offer information online and some even have webchat options. I've popped a few down below for you to take a look at. Let me know what you think
Shelter offer advice and information on all aspects of housing or homelessness in the UK. They also have a webchat https://www.shelter.org.uk/
Housing Rights NI also offer advice and information, and they have a webchat https://www.housingrights.org.uk/
i have really tried to get the point across but i might as well talk to a wall in all honesty. she acts as if i noticed one thing about me that can be a sign but i dont experience any others, but that isn’t the case there is so many that i can relate to, like SO many. the only reason im even going somewhere with it now is purely because the youth workers were high the ones to mention it, they brought it up not me, so now a professional has picked up on it i feel a bit more valid? i was going to try to phone the doctors today (i hate phone calls sooo much) but they’re operating for urgent triage / appointments only until further notice with doctors being of on annual leave and now unexpectedly off sick. even if i was taking my final breath i would still say it’s not urgent lol so im gonna have to wait even longer now to even get an appointment.
as for student funding, i really have tried to explain how it works and how it’s based on household income due to it being a full time course. she just keeps telling me that it is no one else’s business what she earns. i have sent her different links etc to read all about it and find answers to any questions. i even told her that they have the option where i can apply and they will email her directly for the evidence so i will not have any idea of what she earns if that’s the issue. she just keeps telling me it’s no one else’s business what she earns. i am in the process of applying for pip however really struggling with filling in the form and have no one who could help me, the service that can help have to be contacted by phone to make a phone call appointment so that’s another barrier for me as i make myself physically sick at the thought of phone calls. as for working again, i can’t get a job until at least the end of february 2025 as i am doing a qualification through a youth start programme so you can’t be in employment, and i am also unsure of how i would even cope with working again as i have really spiralled and became so much more anxious about leaving the house. the programme through youth start, i have the support to complete it from the youth workers and then at college i have a learning support plan and getting a mentor etc to help me manage and organise my work - i can’t do any of it by myself. so yeah im not even sure how i will cope with working again.
i literally don’t have any support really. cmht discharged me last week and left me with no actual support after telling me i do all this for attention n everything…
i have 7 sessions left of counselling with the mix - i am so scared of opening up to her in case it ends in police, she is so lovely and i had sessions with her before but so many times she suggested contacting someone as she wasn’t convinced i could keep myself safe. the qualification im completing and have support from youth workers, i dont know how to approach them for support - i kinda tried to tell her today when doing catch up work with her because i missed last weeks session and said how im really sad i did miss it as i needed outta the house as everything spiralled but she didn’t really respond:( they’re all so flat out though and i don’t wanna bother them. i went on a residential back in june and she was one of the youth workers at it and she spent a good 5 hours just listening to me altogether over the 4 days and she was amazing, but i’ve convinced myself she hates me - they also take safeguarding so seriously (which is obviously good) but it scares me as i don’t need my mum to know / police involved. at college i have been meeting with a wellbeing officer (it’s meant to be one off appointments but ill have had 3 by the end of next month) and she is super lovely but once again i’m so scared to talk to her about it, and again, i hate the fear of police being involved.
thank you so so much for those organisations, ill take a look at them!!
thank you so much for reading what i wrote and replying to me i appreciate you a lot🩷
I was going to mention that your mum can fill it in without you knowing what the amount is but it sounds like you've exhausted all of the options. Is there anyone at college who might be able to help you with filling in the PIP? Citizen's Advice have useful information on filling it in too I've popped the link in here
I'm also wondering why you think you don't have any support Shannon, because from the sounds of things I think there are people who genuinely care about you and are there for you to lean on
I think you've already taking a huge step by joining us here at The Mix and sharing with us what you're going through. You have been so brave being open with us. Maybe this will help you to feel more comfortable opening up to your counsellor, youth workers or wellbeing officer. What do you think?
i’m so sorry it’s taken me a few days to reply but i just needed a break altogether as everything’s been a bit much, im so sorry!!
i did manage to phone but they were only taking urgent matters only until further notice due to doctors being off sick and on annual leave:( it’s so frustrating how inaccessible the world is still. i think what annoyed me most with the whole simon community thing is the fact that they actually on their contact us section a phone number and an online from which will be responded to via email, i thought at least they have the option of the online form but all they do is advise you to then just phone so like what is the point in it?
the only person that i would maybe even consider asking is the student wellbeing officer but i don’t see her until the 26th november and i have to have the form posted by the 10th november so that wont work:( i did have a look at the link but its specific to england so some of the questions are completely different to the northern ireland form sadly, i did get a bit further with some questions as they’re the same/similar but some are so different. i appreciate you sending me through that link though as it was helpful for some of the questions!
the wellbeing officer i have 1 more appointment with then that’s the support over. i only have 6 more sessions with the mix counselling. the youth workers that have been the ones to suggest the assessment offered me a one off appointment, im probably never even going to hear from them again but i definitely won’t see them again for sure.
i do understand the whole safeguarding side of things but its just that it makes everything at home so much worse then. that is my issue:(
i was debating on emailing the wellbeing officer but i feel like my email is just so dramatic and its all silly and that im just annoying her so i dont think i am going to bother. as for the youth workers, they aren’t an option with it being a one off appointment and the counsellor, i just have the biggest fear of her telling someone (which i get she does legally have to report any concerns but its scary).
i really am so sorry for just not responding for a few days but everything has been so overwhelming and i just wasn’t in the right headspace to write a reply but thank you so much for taking the time to read what i wrote and reply to me katie🩷
I completely hear you on this it must've felt so relieving to see you could email them but how disappointing they don't actually offer support through the email. I feel like that should definitely be made clear on their website! Feeling annoyed about this is completely valid and I'm here with you on that one.
I'm glad to hear that link helped you a little bit! Apologies I didn't even clock you're in Northern Ireland - online it does say someone could call on your behalf but you'd have to be with them. Does this sound like a possible option for you or not? Also, do you think you could contact your student wellbeing officer to see if she could meet with you sooner as the form is due in soon? With it being time sensitive she might be able to squeeze you in a bit sooner to make sure you have that support you need to get it filled in. It's super important you do fill it in and send it off soon as I'm sure this benefit would make a huge difference for you
It sounds really daunting that your support is coming to an end Shannon. I'm sure this has left you with all sorts of feelings and questions. I'm sending you hugs as you navigate this next chapter
Ah I've got you Shannon that makes sense for you to be scared about them getting involved if it makes it worse for you. You do deserve the support though and it's important you know that.
I don't think an email would be dramatic Shannon - I think this is a really good next step. She's there to help look after your wellbeing so you wouldn't be annoying her. You could also ask about support for the PIP form, even if she just sends an email with some advice for filling it out. How does that sound?
I realise I've asked quite a lot of questions and there's no pressure for you to answer them all! I just think they're worth considering as you decide what to do next. Just know we're here for you Shannon and I'm glad you were able to take that break. It's really important you look after yourself and listen to what your mind and body needs as it sounds like you've got a lot on your shoulders at the moment