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difficult night / episode of depression

This discussion was created from comments split from: I need a hug (v2.0) 💚.
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I don't know if I should go to a and e for my mental health or just play at my music concert instead
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    Really really unwell
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm in a really bad state
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    It's like the first "episode" of depression I had
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I don't understand
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 983 Part of The Mix Family
    Please keep safe @IainJammyboy you can get through this, you’ve done it before. ❤️
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    @AnonymousToe it's exactly like it was before and it lasted for a couple months - I can't remember it but it's not depressed but just so active??????????? That everything becomes so unbearable I don't understand what it is or what to do - it's definitely a mental health episode it was exactly like this before I need help
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    Maybe it is something like bipolar like my cpn said udk
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I don't understand
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel much much better
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm not depressed
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I don't understand
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    Sorry
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    You've no need to apologise @IainJammyboy, sounds like you were in the trenches a bit last night and it's good to see you were reaching out. Did you get much sleep in the end?

    I also want to reflect that - although it might not help when you're in the midst of it - it is really positive that you could identify those feelings as an 'episode' as you said and relate them back to previous expeirences you've had. It's healthy to be doing that. :)

    How you feeling today?

    Mod note: I did get Billie to split these posts off from the main hugs thread, because I got the sense things were feeling really heavy and this was a stream of concsciousness for you, so I thought it would make more sense for you to have it in your own thread.
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    @JustV cheers - idk it's weird, I think I'm better today????? Got like 2 hours sleep but that's honestly more than enough lol. When I was in this state I really felt like I was at much more risk than just feeling really depressed on its own so I'm going to try contact NHS 24 today but I am sure if they don't help it's not going to end well - not in a threat or anything but just generally
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    Also thank you @BillieTheBot our favourite bot
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    @JustV cheers - idk it's weird, I think I'm better today????? Got like 2 hours sleep but that's honestly more than enough lol. When I was in this state I really felt like I was at much more risk than just feeling really depressed on its own so I'm going to try contact NHS 24 today but I am sure if they don't help it's not going to end well - not in a threat or anything but just generally
    That's good! Nice @IainJammyboy - glad you're feeling better. It's easy to forget what a new day can do for your mind and your emotional state.

    Contacting NHS 24 sounds like a smart idea. :) Have you been able to reach them?

    I wonder if it's also worth making a mini plan for what you could do if they don't help? Particularly if (as you said) you know it won't end well. Even if it's just small things that keep you that little bit safer, or make things that little bit less dark. Whether that's watching a movie, doing something physical or fidgety, being out the house, etc. Watever that means for you.
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    Also thank you @BillieTheBot our favourite bot
    Good bot.
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,963 Community Veteran
    @AnonymousToe it's exactly like it was before and it lasted for a couple months - I can't remember it but it's not depressed but just so active??????????? That everything becomes so unbearable I don't understand what it is or what to do - it's definitely a mental health episode it was exactly like this before I need help

    Does it feel like everything is super overwhelming right now, like your surroundings suddenly become louder and your thoughts also become louder and it feels like everything is too much at the same time?. Hoping you are okay though <3. Hugs.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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    Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,963 Community Veteran
    JustV wrote: »
    Also thank you @BillieTheBot our favourite bot
    Good bot.

    Billie the bot deserves an award <3.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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    ameliaJayneameliaJayne Moderator Posts: 52 Boards Initiate
    @IainJammyboy did you manage to contact NHS 24 today?
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    @JustV @ameliaJayne my crisis team said they couldn't help but instead told me to tak to my cmht tomorrow, phoned NHS 24 twice and they done fuck all - just told me to talk to my mental health team and told me to try antidepressants again which do nothing but make my symptoms worse
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    After police came to my house and everything, got a phone call from my community mental health team who done absolutely fucking nothing and told me to wait for my next appointment
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    MaisyMaisy Moderator Posts: 627 Incredible Poster
    That sounds really frustrating that you reached out for help only to get told to wait for your next appointment.

    How are you feeling now? I noticed that you mentioned having 2 hours sleep and I'm wondering do you often struggle with sleep? I think sometimes a lack of sleep can make mental health a lot worse. If this might be the case for you, then it might be worthwhile thinking about how you can try to get better sleep, in the hopes of trying to improve your mental health a bit, while you wait for your next appointment.
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel amazing
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    Crisis team told me because I've waited this episode out before I can do it again - I can't do it again
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    In tears again
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    My mum took away all my paracetamol and vodka
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 983 Part of The Mix Family
    Keep safe @IainJammyboy youre doing really well going through all this
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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 924 Part of The Mix Family
    My mum's doing searches whenever I go out and come back in and I have no privacy anymore
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