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People always act as if I'm a complete weirdo??

spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,154 Wise Owl
It's been like this since I was a kid, don't really have much friends because I used to constantly get called weird in school and anytime I would try to talk to someone anytime they would get to know me they would back away because of the way I act - I don't know if it's me or what, it's kinda depressing. I don't know if it's because of how hyperactive I constantly am, I just feel like I'm constantly talked down to like primary school kid. I understand what's going on, I don't need people guiding me through life as if I can't do it on my own although I can be a wee bit slow at times. I just feel like because of my outside demeanor that I get treated like this, I really don't know

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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,238 Part of The Furniture
    edited July 2023
    You have done so well in sharing your experiences here with each other @IainJammyboy and @CaniceQ. It sounds really difficult to be judged by other people and made to feel "odd" or "weird". I can hear how it is making you both question things about yourself at the moment. We are all here for each other here.

    I thank you @CaniceQ for responding so openly and supportively to @IainJammyboy. Did you find the counselling support helpful in what they said - would you like to share more with us about this? Is there anything you usually find helpful @IainJammyboy in managing these thoughts and feelings? :)
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  • spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,154 Wise Owl
    @CaniceQ OH MY GOD THAT IS EXACTLY ME - yea, it's just so hard to find the right people, my mum also likes to call the jokes I make very unusual but she loves them. I just want to have fun with my life but everyone I talk to is just so filled with negativity and hate - especially most of the boys that were in my school year, they all listened to Andrew Tate and so they watch a few YouTube videos and decide based off of his world view that the world is a miserable place and everything is terrible, so they have to become rich and famous to survive is this "brutal" world - I mean it's not that bad lmao. That's why I prefer to have girl friends, from what I've found there not nearly as judgemental or serious, and they put up with my humour lol
  • spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,154 Wise Owl
    I honestly think that's why I can't find a girlfriend either, I just always get looked down upon like some weirdo
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,593 The Mix Elder
    @IainJammyboy and @CaniceQ I can imagine how hard that must be like to go through especially around peers and other people. I too often felt like the odd one out at times as well especially in my friend group, they were nice people but I found myself to be on the outside edges of the group rather than inside it. Even though others may see you as different or 'weird' I'd say that it's just you being your most authentic self as I got to agree that a lot of people tend to be the same and don't often accept people who are different. I often found my humour dark at times as well and sometimes I found that most people never took me very well. But I know how you feel <3 always here if you need someone to talk to <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member muda muda East MidlandsPosts: 122 The Mix Convert
    @IainJammyboy
    Oh no no no no, not him, not Andrew Tate :# Omg, well, that's...omg, no wonder. His toxic mindset certainly will promote that mindset to many people, especially boys. That's probably why it is easier for you to befriend girls and it's probably because of the gender sphere, where it is fine for women to express more emotions than the restricted and more hateful emotions promoted in the men's sphere.

    Though I do find it quite depressing and invalidating when people reject me, I rather be rejected for being myself than being something else to be loved. Being myself makes me feel like a whole person than just a person, and I believe this is the most satisfying thing to be and achieve in life.

    When people do reject me, I typically react with "Oh well, that's expected. It's a good thing that I avoid a false friendship that will exhaust me", then I would give myself some 'me' time so to allow my dejection to heal (for me I do this by doing my hobbies, watching shows/playing games that are close to my heart or give me hope in forming connections, and just doing simply fun activities), then I try to reenter society. What I have said makes this sound so simple but in actuality, it is quite a struggle. The main thing I keep in mind, which helps me feel less bad, is to know that if I exist that there are others like me and you who exist and feels the same way. As my counsellor said, you're probably not surrounded by the right people but that doesn't mean you cannot find someone to connect with; that someone is one you'll meet later in your life journey. The only thing you can do is to wait for the person but also seek them by seeking opportunities which can help you and your potential friends to encounter each other.

    Perhaps it may be a bit easier for me to deal with loneliness because I do really enjoy being left alone for long periods of time, it feels quite relaxing and energizing. Though, I do need to talk to someone sometimes since I believe humans are social beings (not in terms of being 'social' but requiring human contact at times).
    Anyways, I'm glad that I do have a space to be in just in case I really do need someone to talk to, so thank you @Amy22 and @Laura_tigger82 :3
  • AzzimanAzziman Posts: 2,005 Boards Champion
    @CaniceQ It sounds like you have quite a healthy approach to handling rejection. I agree with you - being yourself is more in line with intrinsic values, and that helps us to feel more satisfied in life. That being said, it's okay to feel the hurt when we experience rejection. How do you feel you process your emotions when it happens?

    I can hear that it is a struggle to try and re-enter society - could you explain a bit more about how you feel during that process? I can understand that it's not easy, but I'm glad to hear that you keep trying in connecting with people. I do hope you can find "your people" in time that you can click with! :)
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  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Hey, I relate a lot too!! Though instead of the word 'weird' I prefer the word 'different' or even 'unique', 'weird' makes it seem like there is something wrong with us. I will share some of my story, maybe that way some of you won't feel as bad.

    I kind of always knew I'm weird by the way people treat me. Back in secondary school I heard way too many people talk about me being this and that and how weird I am. There was literally a running joke among them where they thought I was constantly plotting against them xD
    I tried my best to fit in but I didn't know how. I generally spent most of my time watching everyone, just looking at how everyone interacts with each other and are all having fun without me. I don't think people knew how much I liked them just by being there, they must have thought I secretly hated everyone or just didn't care, but many were nice to me regardless.
    Then came prom, the day I truly saw how much I didn't fit in. I just watched as everyone had so much fun, no one really talked to me or cared that I was really there. It was really not a place for me. (I have a slightly embarrassing story from prom but I'm not sure if I feel like sharing it now lol). I hated prom... would totally go again. And as everyone finally separated, and I got home, I literally cried that evening. I promised myself that I will change, open up to people and try to talk with them more. But then college has passed, where I still didn't get along with anyone (beside the one friend that I knew beforehand, but he didn't care much about me either). Now I'm 2 years into uni, and I'm starting to believe that I will never have real friends, I am just too 'different' and not good with people at all.

    That's why I spend so much time on the mix, I love being here because its a place I feel like I fit in (even though I have a feeling some of you still think I'm weird haha, even if you say otherwise), at least I can't get judged on my voice or appearance.
    I just feel like I'm constantly talked down to like primary school kid. I understand what's going on, I don't need people guiding me through life as if I can't do it on my own
    I feel like I'm the opposite here, I feel like people talk to me expecting me to be very knowledgeable, but I actually do need someone to guide me through this life. Its something I've realised recently as I've always been rejecting any help while thinking "I don't need people guiding me through life as if I can't do it on my own". Btw I'm not saying you @IainJammyboy actually need help, I'm saying that help is something I know I've always needed.
    CaniceQ wrote: »
    I'm often seen by many as odd, even by my family. I have a serious, quiet, seemingly judgemental presence and when I speak, my language is atypical so this really puts people off from communicating with me.
    Yes, I'm exactly the same! Though your 'atypical' language, @CaniceQ, is probably very different to my 'atypical' language haha.
    Usually when I try to say something most people will ignore me or not even show any sign that they're listening. When I do finally get a chance to speak, people will often just interrupt me and not care one bit that I'm not done talking. Though in the rare situations where they do listen to what I have to say, they will often tell me stuff like "omg you're so wise" or "omg you're so funny" (when I say a joke for example) and I just think to myself "well what is the point of me being so wise when no one ever listens to me?"
    This applies to everyone; family, friends and even strangers. What is it about me that this is how I get treated?
    I just want to have fun with my life but everyone I talk to is just so filled with negativity and hate
    This, its so true. It seems like everyone I meet is so selfish and rude for absolutely no apparent reason.
    That's why I prefer to have girl friends, from what I've found there not nearly as judgemental or serious, and they put up with my humour lol
    I was thinking about this a lot, girls seem to be so much kinder and accepting compared to guys. And even though I haven't really talked to much girls irl (I'm always either too nervous of shy for some reason lol) I seem to get along with them much more. That could play a part in why I like talking here so much, this place is very female-dominated after all. I always knew I was a girl at heart xD
    I honestly think that's why I can't find a girlfriend either, I just always get looked down upon like some weirdo
    If it makes you feel any better, I still haven't been in a single relationship in my life... You're not alone. "Love will find you one day" they say... the only thing that's finding me is the spider that's been sitting in the corner of my room for like a week now -_-

    Anyways, I'm done rambling, sorry for writing so much as usual. Sending hugs to you all <3 Just be yourself! =)
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    I really do not have much to add as you guys are doing a brillant job. Also, I would like to mention that this thread has been really insightful and intriguing to say the least.
  • Former MemberFormer Member muda muda East MidlandsPosts: 122 The Mix Convert
    @Azziman Trying to re-enter society, in terms of entering a space with a lot of people, is not so difficult but that's because I dissociate and observe from a distance. Re-entering society in terms of interacting with others is always difficult, as I always lack the energy to communicate and I'm bad at the initial small talk. I typically feel indifferent in this process. Sometimes I feel disgusted and quite mad but that's when I continuously push myself to reenter society. For me, I don't think this is so bad. As my counsellor said, I really don't seem too interested in forming relationships and I do agree with this. It's probably because I mostly live in my head. I think I prefer having dependable acquaintances with who I feel comfortable sharing things but not friends. That may be one of the reasons why it's difficult to acquire this type of relationship since others are looking for a different kind of relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Believer in Pluto Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
    @IainJammyboy,
    Being "normal" or "seemingly put together" is overrated. Everyone wants to be unique or different which then in turn is being like everyone else. But not to sound like a quote from a grandmothers stitch work, but being yourself regardless of others is the best thing you can do. Finding that sense of community of people who support and cherish you for who you are is so rewarding and you'll find that community eventually. From simply reading this thread, I've learned that you've got something worthwhile to you, don't let it be labled as "weird", honestly let it shine and say fuck em!
  • Former MemberFormer Member BathPosts: 271 The Mix Regular
    @IainJammyboy I'm sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences and feel misunderstood by others. It can be disheartening when people judge or label us based on external appearances or behaviors. Remember, you are not defined solely by how others perceive you.

    It's important to surround yourself with people who accept and appreciate you for who you are. While it may take time to find genuine connections, there are understanding and empathetic individuals out there who will appreciate your unique qualities.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,294 Wise Owl
    I relate to everything here so much. My therapist has banned the word 'weird' or 'weirdo' lol because apparently I call myself that too often xD
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