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Pregnancy - TW details of sexual violence
hastings1066
Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
I am pregnant. I haven’t had a period for three weeks and I was sick in school. Today I did a test it was positive there is going to be a baby soon.
Post edited by Stephanie on
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The Mix has an article on your options and considerations that you might find helpful: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/abortion/im-pregnant-now-what-4468.html
How do you feel about the situation at the moment?
I don’t know what to do, I am half tempted to go through with the pregnancy but I don’t know.
Thank you for sharing this with us, I understand moments like these can be full of conflicting and overwhelming emotions. Making decisions about pregnancy can be really difficult, we are here with you, to work through this together. May I ask whether you've been able to share this news with anyone else? You are worthy of having someone by your side throughout this journey.
Would you also be able to share what about visiting the doctor is particularly nerve-wracking for you? You are deserving of receiving support and care, especially in a time like this.
There are lots of factors to consider in this moment. Give yourself some grace and time to reflect, news like this can take a while to sink in. Have you been able to read through the article by The Mix? If so, please don't hesitate to share your thoughts if you'd find this helpful.
Take care.
You've been really brave to share this with us so thank you for that. It's a completely personal and sensitive subject and one I have never been through so I can't really give you advice. All I can say is that we on The Mix are here for you, if you have any questions there will be someone that can help, if you need to just say what's on your mind, this is a safe space to do so.
We got you
I told my foster mother the other day that I was having the baby she isn't pleased and she doesn't want me and the baby in the house so i am about to be rehomed. Social services have been told and they have said that for the time being I have to continue living with my foster family.
It's very positive that you're using the discussion boards to talk about your experiences in such an open way. We're here to give you support and whatever may happen it's important to keep in mind that your decision about this pregnancy is what's most important and should have the most bearing in this situation.
I'm sorry your foster mother has been so dismissive, that must have been very overwhelming. Would you feel comfortable talking a little bit about how that made you feel?
How do you feel about having to live with your foster family for the time being?
I know that going to the doctor was very scary for you and I think it's very brave that you managed to open up to people about this situation and that you are taking steps to ensure you and the baby are healthy.
Sending hugs, let us know how things go
I really didn’t have to stay with my foster family. The atmosphere is awful my foster mum is really suspicious, I get the feeling that I persuaded her son into having sex with me and getting me pregnant. She doesn’t believe that he would have done this willingly. She said yesterday you will get laughed at in school once you get a baby bump as everyone will know that you have a bun in the oven.
I can see that the lack of support from your foster mum has been really challenging, her dismissal of your truth must feel very frustrating and disappointing. We are here with you, to listen throughout this journey. You aren't alone.
I am so pleased to see that you were able to attend your medical appointment, it takes great strength to face our fears and the unknown. Your determination is visible.
How are you feeling about the pregnancy and your options at the moment? If you'd like to explore these any further, we can navigate through this together. There can be a lot of uncertainties, confusion and sense of overwhelm in times like these. Feeling informed can help you to gain some more stability and security.
I see that you previously expressed that you don't feel ready for a child, please know that this is a valid and acceptable feeling. Motherhood is a life-changing and lifelong commitment and dedication. It's understandable that this might feel like too much to take on. Whichever decision you take, we can support you through this and look at ways to make this more manageable. We are by your side.
May I also ask how you are feeling about the father of the baby? I understand this might be quite a sensitive and difficult situation. If you'd like to share, we will be here.
Take care.
I am suffering with morning sickness at least twice a day sometimes more. I am intending to continue with the pregnancy as I can’t see me going through with an abortion. I am really worried about the fact that in nine months time I am going to go into labour and become a mum. I don’t feel ready to become a mum but as I am not going to have an abortion I going to have to accept the fact that I am going to become at the age of 13.
At the moment I feel like I could strangle him. Thanks to him I am going to have his baby. I really don’t feel ready to give birth but that is what is going to happen. He has no idea that I am pregnant.
it's completely understandable to be overwhelmed in this situation, and you've mentioned the fact that you don't feel ready to be a mum or to have an abortion yet. Being pregnant can be very nerve-wrecking and it's normal sometimes to have conflicting feelings about your future role as a mother.
I just want to make sure that you're aware of all your options so here is a link to an article about different routes you could take at this point: https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/abortion/im-pregnant-now-what-4468.html.
One of the option detailed there is adoption, you've mentioned thinking about being a mother and about whether or not you'd want to go through with an abortion but is giving your child up for adoption something you're willing to consider?
You're doing such a good job taking care of everything on your own and with minimal support from your foster family. Is there a reason why their son doesn't know he's the father of the baby? Is not telling him a decision that came from you or from your foster parents? and if it wasn't your decision to not tell him yet, how do you feel about it?
Let us know how you've been doing, we're all here for you
something I would consider as a baby at the age of 13 was something I wasn’t expecting. The baby’s father doesn’t know because I haven’t told him but his parents don’t want him to worry about the fact that he got a girl I.e me pregnant. I hadn’t told him yet only because I hadn’t quite figured out what to say. I am not that happy that my foster family don’t want there son to know as I am having his baby. I find the fact that they don’t want him to know quite upsetting and scary. I have a feeling that if I do decide to keep the baby that I am going to be a single mum and I am going to need to use my spare time to work.
I can imagine that your foster family's encouragement of your silence regarding the pregnancy must feel quite isolating. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. May I ask what sort of support you are receiving for your pregnancy outside of The Mix? You deserve to have a support network by your side.
I am going to attach a link which you might find helpful:
https://lifecharity.org.uk/teenage-pregnancy/
Let us know if you're able to take a look through this. Take care.
I was wondering if putting up with emotional abuse by my dad would be better to contend with instead of the silence with regards to my pregnancy that I have to contend with by my foster parents.
hope the morning sickness is getting better
I haven’t thought anymore about telling there son that I am pregnant with his baby. I am really nervous about giving birth.
Is there anything in particular that makes you nervous about going to see the midwife today? Feel free to let us know how you get on at your appointment.
I hear how frightening it must be to think that you may not have the support in place with your foster parents to get you to the hospital during labour. This is definitely something you can discuss with your midwife, in terms of the support available for you during and after your pregnancy, and making plans about getting to the hospital. How would you feel about talking to your midwife about this and creating a plan?
Please don't be hard on yourself for being anxious and nervous about giving birth. Childbirth is a major event and it is so common to feel nervous. Remember that you’re not going to be facing this alone. You'll have a midwife who will be there to support you and look after you. They have lots of experience of helping people through labour and birth and can also offer you pain relief in small or larger doses, depending on how you feel. You might find it helpful to tell your midwife how you feel as they might be able to reassure you.
You mentioned that social services are supporting you but that they are not in a hurry to rehome you - how would you feel about telling them that the baby's father is the foster family's son?
It is really great to hear that your school has links to counselling services and that you hope to access them when you're back at school. How do you feel about telling the support services at school that you're pregnant and your fears?
I'm sorry to hear things have been so tough for you lately. You're being so brave
take care hastings1066
The midwife asked if social services knew that the baby’s father is your foster brother I said no she said they need to know. Social services won’t be pleased. After we talked the midwife did blood tests, checked my blood pressure and checked my urine sample for protein. She also checked the baby’s heartbeat which was fine.
The midwife booked me in for a ultrasound in two weeks time. Normally she said you would see your doctor at 12 weeks as well as having the ultrasound but I will see you instead. She also said she is going to talk to social services as she is not happy with there response to my pregnancy. The midwife said that she is also going to talk to them about school.