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Help me.

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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2023
    Thank you @Gemma

    I did an online chat for survivors of that injury and even if I do have permanent nerve damage it doesn’t sound that bad so I feel a bit at ease now. I think it’s probably just this painful as yeah won’t go in detail but yeah just not normally this painful. Expect when I did it on my leg but that’s because it a was bigger area

    Anyway my arm smells and my manager knows about it as my hand has been swollen and I complain and was crying cause of being in pain lol and she said she can’t smell it and would tell me and that if it did that I’d only be able to smell it as I’m the closest.
    But I’ve found a way to cover up the smell a bit more and I’ve cut the end of a thick sock and I’ve put that on my arm which I thought was clever of me lmao and doesn’t smell through the sock. But maybe give it a few hours and probably will
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I’ve got my hospital appointment tomorrow. Which is good because I just tried to put the honey on it but it was stinging a lot mixed with painful even tho I took paracetamol an hour ago. so i don’t know what to put on it now so just covered it. I am really scared for my appointment for how painful going to be. I really hope I can have gas and air
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2023
    Had my appointment didn’t have gas and air and I am in so much pain right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but I still want to go round and look at some stuff lol. Said takes a few weeks to know if done anything permanent but I’m moving okay so should be okay. They did talk about doing another skins graft and wondering if it’s something I’m okay with if they did want to do it as some people who do it as self harm don’t want it but I said yeah I would.
    Not sure why wouldn’t heals faster and less scaring and less painful but they said they have a back log from Easter so it’s hard to tell
    But I am surprised as I didn’t think they’d even consider skin graft anymore because I kept doing it but yeah i also said I will do the dressing my self and just came to this one appointment to ask about how serve it is in permanent wise. But yeah after long chat I have agreed to not self discharge 🙄 so I guess I’m going to have to tell my family I’ve done it again
    & there’s me thinking I know all the stuff they put on it but have something different on it now
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2023
    I am okay to speak about my self harm on this level of depth or is it too much? @TheMix
    As Mind don’t even let me say about needing to go to hospital for self harm as consider triggering and invalidating , not sure how. All self harm is self harm no matter how serveve it’s the same thing, inflicting pain on yourself is painful no matter how you do it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Manager Posts: 319 The Mix Regular
    Siobhan wrote: »
    I am okay to speak about my self harm on this level of depth or is it too much? @TheMix
    As Mind don’t even let me say about needing to go to hospital for self harm as consider triggering and invalidating , not sure how. All self harm is self harm no matter how serveve it’s the same thing, inflicting pain on yourself is painful no matter how you do it

    Hey @Siobhan,

    You're doing really well to share all of this with us, and we really appreciate your honesty, openness and trust. We can hear that things are difficult at the moment, and those feelings are all completely valid.

    You're welcome to share your thoughts about self harm with us here in this space, as long as they're within our community guidelines. There's nothing that I see in these posts that are against those guidelines. Just remember to avoid discussing any specific or graphic details such as methods, locations or descriptions and we'll be grand.

    You mentioned in your post that you'll need to tell your family about your treatment and decision to not self discharge. How are you feeling about speaking with your family about this?

    You've been really brave to reach out for support Siobhan, and you absolutely deserve it.

    Take care,
    Harry
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,299 Part of The Furniture
    You are doing so well keeping us in the loop @Siobhan. How are you feeling about your manager’s response, the hospital, the injury and everything else at the moment?

    Hopefully, you have got access to the support you need and deserve. It sounds like a really difficult, and painful, time for you at the moment.

    Even if you do keep doing it, you still deserve the support – no matter what that support looks like. As Mike said, think of it as a symptom. We are all here for you Siobhan <3
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks guys. I just came on here to say today is first day I feel I can move my hand without feeling any weird stuff or it being painful so I am happy about that
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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