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Pregnant

Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    I’m hearing that you are feeling that you are pregnant but someone has told you you are not. That sounds really difficult. Who was it that told you, you weren’t pregnant? How would you feel about going to your GP or someone and asking them if they can confirm and to go through your options with you?
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • JustVJustV Posts: 5,525 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Do you know how far along you are @Past User? Don't quote me on this but I think you can be pregnant at school (I had a classmate who was).

    Oh hold on, the NHS actually has some info on this:
    NHS wrote:
    Can I carry on with my education while I'm pregnant?

    Yes, you can stay at school up until the birth and then return to school afterwards.

    Taking time away from school to have a baby is treated like any other leave of absence. Schools are expected to act reasonably and grant a sufficient period of leave from school, taking into consideration the specific circumstances of each case.

    That link also has some more info you might find helpful to go through.

    I would really encourage you to consider your options though Morgan. :) If you want to keep the baby that's a valid choice you can make, but it might be worth talking to someone first to really figure out how you want to move forward and if you genuinely want to become a parent now. That's a massive commitment that would reset the course of your whole life.

    To answer your question, it shouldn't be too late to get an abortion if that's what you'd prefer to do (depending on how far long you are). You might know this already, but there's no shame in getting an abortion, and there is support you can get before, during, and after.

    If you want to chat to a specialist, Brook might be worth looking at. :)

    Practicalities aside, how do you feel emotionally? (also, who told you you're not pregnant?)
    Post edited by TheMix on
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 5,191 Part of The Furniture
    Hi Morgan :)

    I know before when you looked at a test you had looked after the recommended time , so I just wondered if you had done another test since then and looked at the results within the time frame they said ?

    Like mike has mentioned before you can still carry on education whilst being pregnant- My sister fell pregnant with her little girl whilst only 16 and college put things in place to ensure she was safe whilst there and meant she could still sit her exams :) So please don’t feel like you need to have an abortion on the basis of education, it’s actually more common than you think <3

    If termination is something you want to seriously consider then your best option is to visit a sexual health clinic or your Gp who can sign post you to the local sexual health clinic if your unsure where that is. They can talk to you through your options and provide you with the termination if you decide to go ahead with it.

    Everyone’s here to support you regardless of the choice you make :)
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 5,191 Part of The Furniture
    Unfortunately ultrasounds isn’t something that the Gp would have access to at their place of work , it would be something you would have to be sent over to your local community hospital/Maternity clinic for . In early stages of pregnancy it can be difficult to see anything.

    If you truly belive you are pregnant your next best step is to speak to your Gp again as they will need to refer you onto the midwifery team and/or people who can speak to you about terminations .

    A pro and cons list sounds good but remember it’s something a decision that you’ve got to come to and be comfortable with , forgetting what anyone else thinks.

    Your be surprised how many parents come around to the idea of having a grandchild . Yes in the beginning it’s a shock and there’s lots of emotions and that’s understandable so there may be some of those feelings in the beginning . Again with my sister there was those hurt feelings for the first few weeks and then slowly my parents came round to the idea and before you knew it they was baby clothes shopping together.
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    Just found your thread @Past User , thank you so much for directing me to it <3

    This sounds like such a deeply confusing situation for you to be right now, I can't even imagine how shocked you must have been to read the positive result and then all the more baffled when being told by doctors that you are not pregnant. It leaves you in this really uncertain space where you don't have clarity about what's going on in your body :(

    I think you should certainly try to see another doctor, regardless of the outcome of an ultrasound it is really important that you can feel reassured that you have the true answer of whether or not you are pregnant. Plus, it's certainly true that it's better to know sooner rather than later, as this way you will be able to have time to think before making any type of decision. xx

    It seems like you're pretty worried about how your family will react to this news, which is a huge burden to bear right now. Not only are you wrestling with the idea that you may be pregnant, but also thinking about how this will affect the people around you. Of course, this only reinforces your deep care and concern for others. Equally, this is a time when it is more than okay to think mostly about your own emotions and wants right now.

    Sometimes, it can be useful to think about what the pros and cons are of any of the choices in a pregnancy. I know that probably sounds like I'm reducing this huge moment in your life down to a list, but sometimes simplifying things in this way can make it less daunting when you come to a decision.

    Would you like to talk about your options a little bit?

    Huge hugs, and we will be here for you no matter what! xxx
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    You are right @Past User, you need to do what is right for you - no matter what other people may say or think. Ultimately, this is a decision where you need to put yourself first.

    You are so brave for wanting to tell the truth and getting help and support for it. How are you feeling about everything at the moment?

    Sending you hugs. We are all here for you <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I can hear you are feeling scared at the moment @Past User. Is there a particular part you are feeling the most scared about? Here for you, if you would like to share more. It sounds like a really difficult time for you <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I hear you @Past User. Is there something, in particular, you are scared the police might do? Sending you hugs <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I hear you, it sounds particularly scary that you have to relive what happened @Past User. Is there anything, in particular, that might help this to feel more manageable for you at the moment? <3
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    I think you're beyond right @Past User , really this is your decision, and as you say, we can of course give you support and information about your choices, but knowing that you don't want to keep the pregnancy is really important too because you have been able to decide what you want and need right now. Well done for doing this <3

    In terms of the police, that does sound very scary, especially because you're left in this uncertain state, wondering what will they say/do when you speak to them. It's no wonder it's left you feeling so anxious and nervous :(

    Maybe it could help to talk about what kinds of questions they may ask you?

    Huge hugs as always <3 xx
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    No worries at all :) You're always such a delight to talk to!

    So, maybe we start with the kinds of topics you're worried the police are going to bring up when you speak to them? x
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I can hear how these questions are worrying for you at the moment @Past User. Would anything, in particular, help? Other than not having to relive it, of course <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I can sense a tiny bit of hope @Past User but maybe you don't know what that would look like for you at the moment. Am I sensing right? <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Keep holding onto that hope and putting one foot in front of the other @Past User. Also, ask yourself "what do I need right now?". We are here with you through this <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    What's that @Past User? If it's a hug, we are sending you lots of hugs <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Sending you millions and trillions of hugs @Past User!! <3 As my fave is Disney, you can have this photo of Disney hugs :p

    5scptyv1gyti.png


    Post edited by TheMix on
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    You are welcome @Past User, we are all here for you. I have annual leave before August, yet August is the annual leave I am counting down to because it is when I see Winnie the Pooh the musical!! <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Paid time off work @Past User :p
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    Ah, @Past User , of course, so silly of me, it's understandable that the police would be asking those types of questions, and wondering how you're going to answer them is certainly nerve-wracking for you :( Even when you have a plan and know what you need right now, being able to talk bluntly and openly with random police officers about such an intimate aspect of your life is pretty terrifying, right?

    Regardless, you are free to take as much time as you need to talk to them and if you feel uncomfortable, 9 times out of 10, it's better to bluntly say this to them. You deserve to feel safe and comforted at a time like this, that should always be the priority!!

    Now, in terms of their questions, do you feel like you could answer them, or would you prefer not to?

    Huge big hugs for you of course <3

    To bring some softness, here is a picture of my favourite toy I have (don't have an actual picture of my one, but here is the generic shop photo instead!!)

    flzmh6jmdvzf.png
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    I'm sending you hugs too @Past User. How have you been this week? <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Oh no @Past User. How safe are you feeling today? You have been really brave in sharing that with us. Would you like to talk to us more about last night and any triggers? <3
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  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,267 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 18
    Glad to hear you are feeling safer and not suicidal today @Past User. It sounds really difficult that you are feeling very depressed though. We are here for you if you would like to talk to us about this or if there's anything else we can do that might be helpful <3
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    edited September 18
    Not a bother at all <3 Hearing from you is very important @Past User !

    It's no wonder this whole process and experience has triggered such a dip in your mental health, it's simply far too much for any one person to balance alone and it was always going to impact you. Of course, now you're left in this painful space that nothing seems to be healing. Either way, you have my hugs also xx
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