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Taking therapy
JJLemon18
Community Champion Posts: 2,061 Boards Champion
Hi guys. I will be having talking therapy/counselling sessions at university and its my first time so I have a few questions.
I have no idea what they will be like so I'm not too sure how to prepare. So I just talk about my feelings or does it have to be about something in particular? How much do I prepare or do I just go and hope for the best? I'm just worried that without preparation I might not to know what to say or worse I'll say something stupid.
Any advice is highly appreciated as I really don't know what to expect.
Sending hugs
I have no idea what they will be like so I'm not too sure how to prepare. So I just talk about my feelings or does it have to be about something in particular? How much do I prepare or do I just go and hope for the best? I'm just worried that without preparation I might not to know what to say or worse I'll say something stupid.
Any advice is highly appreciated as I really don't know what to expect.
Sending hugs
Believe in me - who believes in you
4
Comments
Firstly it's a positive and brave step to reach out for support.
It's understandable to be unsure of what to expect.
I think it's about giving you a safe space to be able to talk about things.
Something that might help is writing things down if you feel able to do this, as it could help you during the session to take some of the pressure away of having to think of what you want to talk about when you get there. How would you feel about that?
As it's your first time in talking therapy/counselling it's normal to not know what is going to happen or to feel unprepared, the therapist will be there to help you through it and answer any questions/concerns that you have.
You've got this.
I'm making a list at the moment but I'm worried that it will cause me to focus too much on saying everything and getting it off the list rather than paying attention to the advice. But I guess not having everything on your mind is way more helpful.
I will have 6 sessions in total I believe so I should probably get it out my head that I need to talk about everything in the first one.
I used to have monthly therapy sessions as well as weekly counselling sessions.
What I used to find really useful was keeping a diary/journal. That way I could have a look at it before each appointment and remind myself of things I wanted to talk about.
Sometimes I would talk about specific things that had happened recently, sometimes I would talk about how I had been feeling lately (good/bad), and sometimes I would talk about my past. I'd like to focus on one or two specific things per session so that I could cover them in-depth and make the most of my sessions.
The great thing with talk therapy is that it's generally client-led, meaning you get to decide where you take the session. You can talk about anything you want.
I think I'm ready for it now, just still nervous...
Sending hugs,
Amy22
I'm having the first session tomorrow morning and I'm so tired right now that I can barely think. I can't make the mistake of going late to sleep today I just can't...
No worries
I hope your first session goes very well for you. I can imagine how scary it must be too especially talking to your therapist for the first time. I also hear that you are feeling tired tonight, which could also maybe be a sign of nervousness for tomorrow too.
Sending hugs,
Amy22
First of all I couldn't keep myself relaxed, I honestly felt like I was going to explode any second that's how nervous I felt.
Every time she asked me a question my brain would just go blank and I wouldn't know what to say. I had so much trouble getting any sort of words out of my mouth. It's like I can't concentrate while theres someone right there wating for my response. Or maybe I just cant focus in the mornings as I realised the later it is in the day the more I tend to talk.
I kinda feel bad for her, she seemed so helpless with me. I felt like she was trying to ask me anything just to keep me talking.
I have not learned much, apart from the fact that I'm horrible at talking to people. I don't know if I'm approaching this wrong or whether thats just how the first sessions usually go. But ever since I left I feel awful about myself.
Therapy is a process. It usually takes some sessions to start seeing changes and progress, so it’s important to be patient with yourself and the process.
It's possible that the therapist was asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to help you feel more comfortable. It's their job to create a safe and supportive space for you to talk about your thoughts and feelings. It's okay to communicate your needs and concerns with your therapist. If you want or don’t want anything, you can let your therapist know. They may be able to adjust their approach or offer different techniques to help you feel more at ease.
It's also important to be kind to yourself and not judge yourself too harshly. You are already brave because it takes courage to seek therapy and to open up about your feelings. We’re here to support you whenever you need!
It can take a few sessions of therapy to see a difference and you will start to feel more relaxed and open each time you go. You should give yourself credit for going to the session its a brave step and you should be proud of that.
Keep going you're doing amazing
I'm still hopeful that it will get better with each session but I'm starting to worry because I only have a small number of sessions and I had to wait for them long, I don't want to waste them. She asked me very specific questions that I don't think I was prepared for (like how did I feel back in primary school for example), it took me way to long to think about it and find the words to respond. I felt like I was lost in my own mind in a way. I almost can't remember most of the session already, it feels weird I can't explain it
Please don't feel awful about yourself as it was only your first session and normally the first session can be very anxiety inducing, especially as it was your first time too meeting your therapist which is a big thing in itself. I also hear that you struggled to explain your feelings and thoughts to her and felt bad about not being able to express yourself. The main thing is that you tried your best to talk. It can be a very hard thing to do to open up especially as they are a stranger. I understand how you feel as I went through a very similar thing on my first session. I noticed that you mentioned about struggling in the mornings and that later on in the day you feel a lot better talking. I wonder if it would be possible if in your next session you could maybe ask your therapist about maybe having afternoon or later sessions in the day as you feel better talking and explaining things. It might help to ease the anxiety of talking too as often in the morning we tend to get adjusted to our surroundings and stuff.
Therapy sessions can take a while to get used too but eventually you become more relaxed over time about talking. Talking can be a very big thing to do and just remember that you are very brave for reaching out and doing your first session.
Sending hugs,
Amy22
Also thank you to @Amy22 as always lovely to see you guys all being so supportive of eachother in the community. Best community by far!
I was so nervous throughout the session, once I left I felt my whole body was shaking as if there was so much tension building inside me the entire time.
Don't worry! The first time is always going to be quite nerve wrecking. It's your first time doing something like this and talking about emotions/past experiences are sensitive and difficult to talk about. It will get easier the more you go and build a rapport with her.
Maybe try discussing your time preferences with her and explain the reason why. Her job is to ask questions and help keep you talking - it doesn't mean she feels helpless with you, don't worry!
After reading about your second session, It sounds like you've become more comfortable. I know that may be hard to understand right now due to feeling overwhelmed and tense, but going from 'going blank' to 'rambling' is definitely an improvement! Focus on the positive, it sounds like you're doing really well - it will get easier and feel more natural as time goes on
I have told her that the sessions are a bit early for me and I'm having trouble concentrating and explaining myself this early in the morning but her response was that she understood everything I said and I did well. I don't know if that is actually true (which I doubt) or she is saying this just to make me feel better. Either way she wasn't keen on changing the time of the sessions, I'll mention it again next week.
This session it was more like going back and forth between being blank and rambling, but yea I see an improvement I guess.
A problem I see right now is the fact that I have only 6 sessions, this is constantly sitting at the back of my head and maybe I still don't feel comfortable enough but I'm just forcing myself to talk so I don't waste any sessions in a way. I really hope there is more I can do about myself after the sessions are over. I already had a third of my sessions yet I feel like I only scratched the surface on how I feel.
As you can probably tell, I hate time... I looked at the clock this session and the whole 50 minutes have passed even though it felt like 5, my heart literally sank at that moment, there was still so much I wanted to say.
Sounds like you opened up a lot more in your second session which is great, its shows that you are becoming more comfortable and sharing more. It may feel like conversations are a little disorganised and like you're rambling in your first few sessions but don't worry they do start to narrow in on things as you work through your sessions, I also would not worry about the amount of sessions you have, it may be worth asking if you can have more sessions if you feel that you need them?
That's great that you can do more sessions if needed!
If it is going to be a long wait before the next sessions it may be worth seeing if there are any tips/ resources that you can take away with you and things for you to practice to help you when things start to feel difficult. Remember you always have us to speak to as well
We are also always more than happy to listen to you about how you are feeling and your 'rambles'
But also it kinda feels like I'm going the wrong way. The more I learn about myself the worse it feels and the more I wish to forget it. I already had a few posts that I started writing but after rereading them I just thought to myself "this doesnt make any sense", so I deleted them. I can't even remember what I was doing for the past week, it all seems so vague as if it happened a couple years ago.
I just don't know how to explain what I'm feeling, it almost feels like I have no control over what I think or do. All of this is just too much for me to handle at the moment.
Thank you
But its also ok if sometimes you dont feel great after therapy or if you feel you didnt manage to say everything. These things are really tough.
I struggle communicating verbally when im upset. So i often write notes.
But the other thing i do is if theres something i think is important, but something that wont neccessarily come up naturally in the session (like being unable to focus in the morning) I write out a little paragraph on my phone before i see the person. And i hand it to them at the start of the session for them to read.
Its helped me a lot.
Its also really great that you were able to tell her when you needed a break. Thats awesome.
Sending lots of hugs
Last week I told her that I started to write a lot of my feelings on these threads (I didn't specify where exactly) and she asked me to bring one of my posts to talk about in the next session, I didn't do it, I am not that comfortable.
But I'm really glad this worked for you! Maybe I will try it next session.
I have two seperate types my notes are just for me and the paragraphs i share are written like emails. The paragraphs are normaly brief , sometines its just a sentence to open up a topic i need to talk about.
I have a pretty bad stutter when im struggling so sometimes its the only way i can comunicate but i still find it difficult when people read my stuff. So as silly as it may seem i place my hands over my ears and close my eyes while they read the things ive shown them.
I dont like people reading my work or assignments. And as anxiety inducing it is to show people things i feel relief afterwards once we've talked about something thats been bugging me.
Its ok if these things dont work for you or if it takes time for your to feel comfortable sharing things.
I will probably try writing things down to show her in one of the future meetings. Hopefully this can help me too.
She mentioned to me today that she sees I am "invalidating" most of the advice I am given, and I know this is true. I will often say stuff like "this won't work for me" or "I tried this before" but I do take everything in and I definitely think a lot about all advice I am given. So I'm trying to make my replies sound more positive from now on.
Ive learnt Its good to be open to things and give them a try. Unless you think its going to cause stress or upset its always good to give a suggestion a go. People suggested headspace to me a lot and i eventualy tried it and i find it really helpful for sleep. On the other hand people tried to get me to use popits for stimming but i dont like the noise, and thats ok.
After trying different things its perfectly ok to say this doesnt work for me. Its good to know what works and what doesnt.
Its good to be positve but its also ok to be honest about what helps and what doesnt. Someone once told me telling people what doesnt work enables them to find things that will.