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Taking therapy

JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
Hi guys. I will be having talking therapy/counselling sessions at university and its my first time so I have a few questions.
I have no idea what they will be like so I'm not too sure how to prepare. So I just talk about my feelings or does it have to be about something in particular? How much do I prepare or do I just go and hope for the best? I'm just worried that without preparation I might not to know what to say or worse I'll say something stupid.
Any advice is highly appreciated as I really don't know what to expect.
Sending hugs
Believe in me - who believes in you
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @JJLemon18

    Firstly it's a positive and brave step to reach out for support. :smile:

    It's understandable to be unsure of what to expect.

    I think it's about giving you a safe space to be able to talk about things.

    Something that might help is writing things down if you feel able to do this, as it could help you during the session to take some of the pressure away of having to think of what you want to talk about when you get there. How would you feel about that?

    As it's your first time in talking therapy/counselling it's normal to not know what is going to happen or to feel unprepared, the therapist will be there to help you through it and answer any questions/concerns that you have.

    You've got this. :heart:
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Hey @Stephanie Thank you so much!

    I'm making a list at the moment but I'm worried that it will cause me to focus too much on saying everything and getting it off the list rather than paying attention to the advice. But I guess not having everything on your mind is way more helpful.

    I will have 6 sessions in total I believe so I should probably get it out my head that I need to talk about everything in the first one.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    Hi there!

    I used to have monthly therapy sessions as well as weekly counselling sessions.

    What I used to find really useful was keeping a diary/journal. That way I could have a look at it before each appointment and remind myself of things I wanted to talk about.

    Sometimes I would talk about specific things that had happened recently, sometimes I would talk about how I had been feeling lately (good/bad), and sometimes I would talk about my past. I'd like to focus on one or two specific things per session so that I could cover them in-depth and make the most of my sessions.

    The great thing with talk therapy is that it's generally client-led, meaning you get to decide where you take the session. You can talk about anything you want.
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you so much for the advice @M3GANx04!
    I think I'm ready for it now, just still nervous...
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    No way I just realised I spelled the name of this thread wrong, it was supposed to be Talking Therapy not Taking Therapy. I'm so lucky it still makes sense lol :lol:
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,593 The Mix Elder
    I also had therapy and counselling but also online. I felt the same way too about having therapy especially with the questions as I was unsure of what they would ask me. I'd say it might be a good idea writing down your thoughts or keeping a tracker or journal about your thoughts. So when you go into the meetings it is easy and more comfortable talking. Most of the time therapy sessions are quite relaxed and they isn't a lot of pressure too on the person. Most of the time they are willing to listen and don't often ask too many questions. I also agree with @M3GANx04 as there is no pressure to how much you want to say in each session. They are mostly led to by you. I hope it goes well for you,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you @Amy22!

    I'm having the first session tomorrow morning and I'm so tired right now that I can barely think. I can't make the mistake of going late to sleep today I just can't...
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,593 The Mix Elder
    JJLemon18 wrote: »
    Thank you @Amy22!

    I'm having the first session tomorrow morning and I'm so tired right now that I can barely think. I can't make the mistake of going late to sleep today I just can't...

    No worries <3

    I hope your first session goes very well for you. I can imagine how scary it must be too especially talking to your therapist for the first time. I also hear that you are feeling tired tonight, which could also maybe be a sign of nervousness for tomorrow too.

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Okay, so I feel conflicted. I've had my first session and don't know what to think about it.

    First of all I couldn't keep myself relaxed, I honestly felt like I was going to explode any second that's how nervous I felt.
    Every time she asked me a question my brain would just go blank and I wouldn't know what to say. I had so much trouble getting any sort of words out of my mouth. It's like I can't concentrate while theres someone right there wating for my response. Or maybe I just cant focus in the mornings as I realised the later it is in the day the more I tend to talk.

    I kinda feel bad for her, she seemed so helpless with me. I felt like she was trying to ask me anything just to keep me talking.
    I have not learned much, apart from the fact that I'm horrible at talking to people. I don't know if I'm approaching this wrong or whether thats just how the first sessions usually go. But ever since I left I feel awful about myself.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Former MemberFormer Member BathPosts: 271 The Mix Regular
    Hey @JJLemon18 . It's completely normal to feel nervous during your first therapy session, and it's okay if you had trouble getting your thoughts out and need more time to get used to talking to a therapist.

    Therapy is a process. It usually takes some sessions to start seeing changes and progress, so it’s important to be patient with yourself and the process.

    It's possible that the therapist was asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to help you feel more comfortable. It's their job to create a safe and supportive space for you to talk about your thoughts and feelings. It's okay to communicate your needs and concerns with your therapist. If you want or don’t want anything, you can let your therapist know. They may be able to adjust their approach or offer different techniques to help you feel more at ease.

    It's also important to be kind to yourself and not judge yourself too harshly. You are already brave because it takes courage to seek therapy and to open up about your feelings. We’re here to support you whenever you need!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miss NottinghamshirePosts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Hi @JJLemon18

    It can take a few sessions of therapy to see a difference and you will start to feel more relaxed and open each time you go. You should give yourself credit for going to the session its a brave step and you should be proud of that.

    Keep going you're doing amazing <3
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you @Terry8936 and @eparker98!
    I'm still hopeful that it will get better with each session but I'm starting to worry because I only have a small number of sessions and I had to wait for them long, I don't want to waste them.
    Terry8936 wrote: »
    It's possible that the therapist was asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to help you feel more comfortable.
    She asked me very specific questions that I don't think I was prepared for (like how did I feel back in primary school for example), it took me way to long to think about it and find the words to respond. I felt like I was lost in my own mind in a way. I almost can't remember most of the session already, it feels weird I can't explain it
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,593 The Mix Elder
    JJLemon18 wrote: »
    Okay, so I feel conflicted. I've had my first session and don't know what to think about it.

    First of all I couldn't keep myself relaxed, I honestly felt like I was going to explode any second that's how nervous I felt.
    Every time she asked me a question my brain would just go blank and I wouldn't know what to say. I had so much trouble getting any sort of words out of my mouth. It's like I can't concentrate while theres someone right there wating for my response. Or maybe I just cant focus in the mornings as I realised the later it is in the day the more I tend to talk.

    I kinda feel bad for her, she seemed so helpless with me. I felt like she was trying to ask me anything just to keep me talking.
    I have not learned much, apart from the fact that I'm horrible at talking to people. I don't know if I'm approaching this wrong or whether thats just how the first sessions usually go. But ever since I left I feel awful about myself.

    Please don't feel awful about yourself as it was only your first session and normally the first session can be very anxiety inducing, especially as it was your first time too meeting your therapist which is a big thing in itself. I also hear that you struggled to explain your feelings and thoughts to her and felt bad about not being able to express yourself. The main thing is that you tried your best to talk. It can be a very hard thing to do to open up especially as they are a stranger. I understand how you feel as I went through a very similar thing on my first session. I noticed that you mentioned about struggling in the mornings and that later on in the day you feel a lot better talking. I wonder if it would be possible if in your next session you could maybe ask your therapist about maybe having afternoon or later sessions in the day as you feel better talking and explaining things. It might help to ease the anxiety of talking too as often in the morning we tend to get adjusted to our surroundings and stuff.

    Therapy sessions can take a while to get used too but eventually you become more relaxed over time about talking. Talking can be a very big thing to do and just remember that you are very brave for reaching out and doing your first session.

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you so much @Amy22. I am noting everything down and will tell her all of this next time. Will definitely mention that later sessions might be better for me
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,056 Wise Owl
    That’s such a brave step @JJLemon18 Really proud of you for giving it a go and echoing what everyone else has sort of said it’s definitely important to take it at your own pace and mabye they might discuss further sessions with you after if you feel that they are helpful or mabye theirs something more you want to talk about ? I guess it just depends on the therapist but might be worth saying. I can understand how overwhelming and hard it can be especially getting used to talking to someone new but hopefully the later sessions help a bit but anyway I just wanted to say how proud I am as well

    Also thank you to @Amy22 as always lovely to see you guys all being so supportive of eachother in the community. Best community by far!
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    So, I had my second session today. I was rambling too much, so much in fact that we went over the time limit. I felt like I was rushing everything and I wasn't listening to feedback enough. I'm so not used to talking to people about this kind of stuff (especially in person) and every time I said something my brain would just melt down. So basically I'm talking and talking until she stops me to ask a question and then I would just freeze as if "oh no, someone was literally listening to everything I said".
    I was so nervous throughout the session, once I left I felt my whole body was shaking as if there was so much tension building inside me the entire time.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • M3GANx04M3GANx04 Posts: 61 Boards Initiate
    JJLemon18 wrote: »
    Okay, so I feel conflicted. I've had my first session and don't know what to think about it.

    First of all I couldn't keep myself relaxed, I honestly felt like I was going to explode any second that's how nervous I felt.
    Every time she asked me a question my brain would just go blank and I wouldn't know what to say. I had so much trouble getting any sort of words out of my mouth. It's like I can't concentrate while theres someone right there wating for my response. Or maybe I just cant focus in the mornings as I realised the later it is in the day the more I tend to talk.

    I kinda feel bad for her, she seemed so helpless with me. I felt like she was trying to ask me anything just to keep me talking.
    I have not learned much, apart from the fact that I'm horrible at talking to people. I don't know if I'm approaching this wrong or whether that's just how the first sessions usually go. But ever since I left I feel awful about myself.

    Don't worry! The first time is always going to be quite nerve wrecking. It's your first time doing something like this and talking about emotions/past experiences are sensitive and difficult to talk about. It will get easier the more you go and build a rapport with her.
    Maybe try discussing your time preferences with her and explain the reason why. Her job is to ask questions and help keep you talking - it doesn't mean she feels helpless with you, don't worry!

    After reading about your second session, It sounds like you've become more comfortable. I know that may be hard to understand right now due to feeling overwhelmed and tense, but going from 'going blank' to 'rambling' is definitely an improvement! Focus on the positive, it sounds like you're doing really well - it will get easier and feel more natural as time goes on :)
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you so much @M3GANx04. Hopefully these sessions can help me open up and start talking to people more.
    M3GANx04 wrote: »
    Maybe try discussing your time preferences with her and explain the reason why. Her job is to ask questions and help keep you talking - it doesn't mean she feels helpless with you, don't worry!
    Okay maybe not hopeless but at least a little confused at some of my responses.
    I have told her that the sessions are a bit early for me and I'm having trouble concentrating and explaining myself this early in the morning but her response was that she understood everything I said and I did well. I don't know if that is actually true (which I doubt) or she is saying this just to make me feel better. Either way she wasn't keen on changing the time of the sessions, I'll mention it again next week.
    M3GANx04 wrote: »
    After reading about your second session, It sounds like you've become more comfortable. I know that may be hard to understand right now due to feeling overwhelmed and tense, but going from 'going blank' to 'rambling' is definitely an improvement! Focus on the positive, it sounds like you're doing really well - it will get easier and feel more natural as time goes on :)
    This session it was more like going back and forth between being blank and rambling, but yea I see an improvement I guess.
    A problem I see right now is the fact that I have only 6 sessions, this is constantly sitting at the back of my head and maybe I still don't feel comfortable enough but I'm just forcing myself to talk so I don't waste any sessions in a way. I really hope there is more I can do about myself after the sessions are over. I already had a third of my sessions yet I feel like I only scratched the surface on how I feel.
    As you can probably tell, I hate time... I looked at the clock this session and the whole 50 minutes have passed even though it felt like 5, my heart literally sank at that moment, there was still so much I wanted to say.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miss NottinghamshirePosts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Hi @JJLemon18

    Sounds like you opened up a lot more in your second session which is great, its shows that you are becoming more comfortable and sharing more. It may feel like conversations are a little disorganised and like you're rambling in your first few sessions but don't worry they do start to narrow in on things as you work through your sessions, I also would not worry about the amount of sessions you have, it may be worth asking if you can have more sessions if you feel that you need them? :)
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you @eparker98
    eparker98 wrote: »
    I also would not worry about the amount of sessions you have, it may be worth asking if you can have more sessions if you feel that you need them? :)
    I did, she said they rarely do more than 6 but she also mentioned I could always apply again. But that would mean waiting a long time for my sessions again...
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miss NottinghamshirePosts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Hi @JJLemon18

    That's great that you can do more sessions if needed!

    If it is going to be a long wait before the next sessions it may be worth seeing if there are any tips/ resources that you can take away with you and things for you to practice to help you when things start to feel difficult. Remember you always have us to speak to as well :)
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    I've been thinking, these sessions must be really impacting me because I really can't wait for the next one now. I feel like I really need somebody to talk to about how I'm feeling and these sessions give me exactly that opportunity. I honestly feel like I could spend an entire day just talking with someone, someone who cares. (Even though I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to spend an entire day with my rambles :lol:)
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Posts: 5,238 Part of The Furniture
    It is really positive to hear these sessions must be really impacting you and you can't wait for the next session now @JJLemon18. It sounds like you have come such a long way already, well done.

    We are also always more than happy to listen to you about how you are feeling and your 'rambles' <3
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  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you @Laura_tigger82. It does feel like I've come a long way yet I have still so so much more to go through.
    But also it kinda feels like I'm going the wrong way. The more I learn about myself the worse it feels and the more I wish to forget it. I already had a few posts that I started writing but after rereading them I just thought to myself "this doesnt make any sense", so I deleted them. I can't even remember what I was doing for the past week, it all seems so vague as if it happened a couple years ago.
    I just don't know how to explain what I'm feeling, it almost feels like I have no control over what I think or do. All of this is just too much for me to handle at the moment.
    Thank you :)
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Update: Therapy session 3 and I'm starting to see some progress. I honestly love talking openly about how I feel with someone who wants to understand, even though its still kinda hard. But again, I was super nervous and stressed out, there was a point where I had to stop her because I couldn't concentrate so much, I felt like my head was going to explode. There was so much I forgot to say (such as the fact that morning sessions make it hard for me to concentrate :expressionless:) even though I made so many notes. Time goes so incredibly fast in these sessions that its honestly hard to keep up.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Posts: 885 Part of The Mix Family
    Its awesome that you feel its helping and its great that youre talking to eachother <3
    But its also ok if sometimes you dont feel great after therapy or if you feel you didnt manage to say everything. These things are really tough.

    I struggle communicating verbally when im upset. So i often write notes.
    But the other thing i do is if theres something i think is important, but something that wont neccessarily come up naturally in the session (like being unable to focus in the morning) I write out a little paragraph on my phone before i see the person. And i hand it to them at the start of the session for them to read.
    Its helped me a lot.

    Its also really great that you were able to tell her when you needed a break. Thats awesome.

    Sending lots of hugs
    You're awesome!
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thank you @SpaceOtter. I have started to write notes before and after every session to help me remember stuff but I don't show them during the session. I feel like everything I say or do I have to explain it in some way, so to me knowing someone is reading my stuff while in front of me is just so uncomfortable. That's why I absolutely hate when people look at my screen when I'm doing something on my phone or pc, I instantly feel the need to explain myself for no reason.
    Last week I told her that I started to write a lot of my feelings on these threads (I didn't specify where exactly) and she asked me to bring one of my posts to talk about in the next session, I didn't do it, I am not that comfortable.
    But I'm really glad this worked for you! Maybe I will try it next session.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Posts: 885 Part of The Mix Family
    I completely understand. It took me a very long time to build up the courage to share my writing.
    I have two seperate types my notes are just for me and the paragraphs i share are written like emails. The paragraphs are normaly brief , sometines its just a sentence to open up a topic i need to talk about.

    I have a pretty bad stutter when im struggling so sometimes its the only way i can comunicate but i still find it difficult when people read my stuff. So as silly as it may seem i place my hands over my ears and close my eyes while they read the things ive shown them.
    I dont like people reading my work or assignments. And as anxiety inducing it is to show people things i feel relief afterwards once we've talked about something thats been bugging me.

    Its ok if these things dont work for you or if it takes time for your to feel comfortable sharing things.
    You're awesome!
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Posts: 2,024 Boards Champion
    Thats not silly at all @SpaceOtter. I really like when people come up with different solutions to problems. It works for you so that's all that matters. It makes sense that you feel relief afterwards.
    I will probably try writing things down to show her in one of the future meetings. Hopefully this can help me too.

    She mentioned to me today that she sees I am "invalidating" most of the advice I am given, and I know this is true. I will often say stuff like "this won't work for me" or "I tried this before" but I do take everything in and I definitely think a lot about all advice I am given. So I'm trying to make my replies sound more positive from now on.
    Believe in me - who believes in you
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Posts: 885 Part of The Mix Family
    Thats something ive struggled with too.
    Ive learnt Its good to be open to things and give them a try. Unless you think its going to cause stress or upset its always good to give a suggestion a go. People suggested headspace to me a lot and i eventualy tried it and i find it really helpful for sleep. On the other hand people tried to get me to use popits for stimming but i dont like the noise, and thats ok.

    After trying different things its perfectly ok to say this doesnt work for me. Its good to know what works and what doesnt.
    Its good to be positve but its also ok to be honest about what helps and what doesnt. Someone once told me telling people what doesnt work enables them to find things that will.
    You're awesome!
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