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Post of the month - December 2021

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
in General Chat
Hey everyone,

Here's our December Post of the Month nominations :)

What is Post of the Month?
For those of you who aren't familiar with Post of the Month, each month you can nominate threads and replies you've seen on the discussion boards. We then put up a poll and the post with the most votes wins Post of the Month and you'll get a badge on your profile :star:

1. @Tigger2001's thread 'Is there a right time to ask for support?'
Short answer is no.

In life there is no right time or wrong time to have a discussion about you - you matter more than anything else.

Sure it might not fit with everyone else and their lives. Yeah, it might cause some inconvenience to begin with, people are people - we may not always react rationally to begin with.

But if they care about you, any time is THE time to say "I am struggling". Trust me, they would much rather hear those words and be able to help you then never hearing them at all. They will always want to help you, but they might not know you need it.

And you, you deserve to put yourself first and as soon as you feel that sinking feeling with those bad thoughts, say something. There is no better time than the present, it's the unpoend gift of opportunity.

I have been one of those people who put myself on hold for years in order to avoid burdening someone else, and then I realised I am just adding weight to my own shoulders when I don't have to. So I told them "I'm struggling" and now I can stand up straight, the world feels a little brighter and it feels good to know if I ever feel like that again, I know my back doesn't have to hurt so much next time because they will be there to support me through the good and bad.

I've just started counselling and prolonging it was only making things worse for me. I didn't have to do it alone, and neither do you.

Feel free to give me a shout as I am more than happy to have a chat about your experiences and would love to hear what things work for you when you find yourself in a slump. 😊


2. @Brookee's reply in 'Dating Sites'
Hello! This situation must be very confusing and upsetting for you. I would like to point out that your feelings always have been and always will be completely valid. If it's upsetting you, then it's upsetting you and nobody should make you feel bad for how you feel.

I think it would be beneficial for you to sit down with him and discuss your feelings and be as clear as you can about what you want, if you are to restart your relationship. If he continues to say there's no problems with him being on a dating app, then it's important you do what you feel is best. It can be difficult to navigate a break up when you feel like there's a chance to respark it. However, if you've clearly stated that you don't like him being on dating apps, and he continues, then he is violating your boundaries, and these are important in a relationship.

Look after yourself, your mental health and feelings are important. <3

3. @Anch0r33's thread 'When Christmas is Hard'
Hey all - I love spreading Christmas cheer as much as the next person, however I'm also aware that Christmas can be difficult for many!

Some people don't have any family - through estrangement, care experience, death or other factors. Some people find living at home tough. Some people have falling outs. Some people are homeless. Some people can't afford Christmas. Some people can't be with the ones they want to be with. The list goes on.

I'm here to share some of my ✨top tips✨ to help deal with Christmas, when Christmas isn't good for you.

Space - find yourself a quiet place that you can retreat to! This could be your bedroom, maybe the bathroom, somewhere in the garden or going for a walk. Set a plan prior to the day so that in the moment you can retreat even if your mind isn't thinking straight! ☃️

Time - take some time for yourself! If you notice that things are getting a bit overwhelming, take a step to your safe space. Use counting methods to help bring you back to your senses. Some people find it helpful counting to 10 or 100 or counting backwards from 1000. This distracts your brain and helps you become aware of your surroundings. ⛄

Pets - spend time with your pets, whether that be as your only companion or because you need calming, your pet is the perfect one for the job. They release endorphins which will help you to relax and feel happy! Also they love a little extra smoochin'! 🌲

Self Care - get yourself some Christmassy bath bombs, face masks, candles and body wash! Set yourself a cosy bath and ✨r✨e✨l✨a✨x✨, stick on a Christmas film, bake some gingerbread or do your favourite self care routine! 🎁

If Christmas isn't your thing and you need a distraction -

• music
• movie night - with your fav snacks
• go for a walk
• write something!
• clean your room
• bake/cook
• learn something new!
• redecorate your room
• donate something!

These are just my top tips but I'd love to hear yours! Add below suggestions of ways to distract and help Christmas go smoothly!

4. @Dancer's poem 'I'm Coming Out - a poem'
This poem has been something that I have been thinking of writing for a long time and now I have decided that I am ready to come out and write this poem. Most of my experiences of trying to come out have been very negative and has caused me setbacks but it has given me even more determination to do this.

It is hard to put into words but I want to try
I feel ready to reveal what sexuality I am
It's time to come out and get it off my chest
This is me and I am trying my best
No it is not a phase and yes I am sure
I am a lesbian
And there should be no stigma about that
But some people find it funny to mock me for it
Just because I am lesbian doesn't mean I will flirt with every girl that I meet
Sometimes I want to keep quiet about it and I want people to respect that
I am a lesbian
It might not look that way to you
But it is what I am
It's time to stop hiding away
Today is the day
I will come out and say
I am a lesbian!
Relationships are not easy
But I feel happy with being me
My girlfriend cares a lot about me and she would be proud of me for coming out
It's time to open the closet and say it out loud

You can vote below and remember to keep an eye out for posts to nominate this month. You can nominate a post by flagging it and then choosing 'Post of the Month nomination' as the reason.

Aife & the team

Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Post of the month - December 2021 17 votes

Tigger2001
29% 5 votes
Brookee
17% 3 votes
Anch0r33
35% 6 votes
Dancer
17% 3 votes
«1

Comments

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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    So difficult to choose! They are all such great posts <3
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I won't vote on this but I just wanted to thank you guys for the nomination, always an honour! Hope my post helped some people.

    Awesome posts by the rest too, congratulations everyone <3 
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Don't you fancy nominating your own post @Anch0r33? I would (*laughs*) :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,794 Master Poster
    Awwww someone not only nominated me but has also voted for me.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Laura_tigger82 wrote: »
    Don't you fancy nominating your own post @Anch0r33? I would (*laughs*) :3

    Hehe I've had a few nominations previously and haven't voted so I'm gonna stick to that, don't want my vote to be a tie breaker! 
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Your post deserved a nomination and a vote @Dancer :3

    I am really proud of all of your posts! <3
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    I just wanted to thank you ever so much for the nomination, I'm honestly so so grateful!! You're so unbelievably kind, so thank you <3
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    You deserve it @Brookee :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Laura_tigger82 You're too kind, thank you so much, this has honestly made my whole week :)<3
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    You are welcome @Brookee! Just the truth :3<3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,794 Master Poster
    edited January 2022
    Just curious but when it says on a poll that it is anonymous/private, does that mean that even the staff team can't see who voted for what? I know they usually have secret ways of finding out other stuff on here that people don't realise such as being able to read their private messages.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hmm, I'm not sure @Dancer! I would assume that is the case <3

    @TheMix what's the answer? :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,794 Master Poster
    I should think that even the staff team can't see who votes for what because even the person who made the poll cannot see who voted for what option if it is a private poll so I should assume that private means private from everyone.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    edited January 2022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Post edited by Past User on
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    @TheMix will be able to answer all your questions @Dancer and @Zay :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,794 Master Poster
    Zay wrote: »
    Dancer wrote: »
    I know they usually have secret ways of finding out other stuff on here that people don't realise such as being able to read their private messages.
    Whaaat they can read our PMs? Nahh I don't think they can otherwise that would be a complete vio to our privacy ygm?

    The staff team only read our private messages if there are safety concerns or someone asks them to check such as if they are being bullied.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    I thought that would be the case @Dancer. Thanks for explaining! :3
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,040 Boards Guru
    Hey everyone,

    These are some great questions. For the poll, when we set it up as a private poll like this one, we can't see who votes on each option.

    In terms of PM's, @Dancer has answered this perfectly. We don't monitor PMs you sent to each other unless we have a safety concern.

    If you have any other questions, do let us know :)

    Aife & the team
    We're @Aife, @Ella, @Gemma, and @JustV - the staff team here at The Mix.

    Our DMs are monitored Monday - Friday (10am - 5pm) with limited cover on weekends. We have a great team of moderators looking after the community outside of those hours to check in on any reported posts.

    We're not able to provide support on this account. If you need support urgently for any reason, please call 999, go to your nearest A&E or contact Crisis Messenger by texting THEMIX to 85258.
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Thanks @TheMix. I knew you would be able to answer all these questions amazingly! :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,794 Master Poster
    Although I can tell that it is very likely that I am not going to win, it was absolutely amazing even being nominated at all.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Options
    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Dancer

    There is still time for you to win! You are in third place at the moment. If you don't though, I still want you to know you are a really valued member of our community who deserves the nomination. You will be surprised by just how many members of the LGBTQIA+ community your poem will reach, keep up the incredible work <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Adam_SAdam_S Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    edited January 2022
    Thank you The Mix and good job Dancer
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Adam_S

    Thanks for your continued support within our community. Your efforts have been acknowledged and they are really appreciated! :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    Adam_SAdam_S Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    Thanks I hope you have 7 yrs of good luck
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Aww, that is really kind of you. Thanks @Adam_S. Can I ask why 7 years in particular? I am wishing you good luck too! :)
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    Adam_SAdam_S Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    I don’t know really
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    @Adam_S - Is it a magic number? If so, thank you! :)
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    Adam_SAdam_S Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    I guess so because in football when I play with my friends I always wear the number 7 and I always win
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Wow! Number 7 must be a really lucky number. Thanks @Adam_S. How great that it means you win football too :3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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    Adam_SAdam_S Posts: 128 The Mix Convert
    I definitely agree
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