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I don't know what to do with my relationship😭
Past User
Recovering🥀Posts: 0 Just got here
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It's really wonderful that you are both deeply in love with each other and he is looking our for you. What I would suggest is letting him know of your feelings, thoughts and the situation, so he is aware of what is going on and doesn't worry about you suddenly not talking to him.
Your parents seem a bit on the controlling side and violating your privacy is definitely not right or warranted, but maybe you could explain to them your feelings. how your boyfriend makes you feel and how they make you feel by treating you like a small child. Also, telling them that you don't intent to do any drugs might help calm them down, since that really seems important to them.
I'm really glad to hear that you have found someone who makes you feel warm and loved, as this is what you deserve, and whilst your worries are understandable, I truly do think you do not need to panic about 'who he's talking to', as it sounds like he cares for you immensely. Perhaps speaking with him honestly about your fears could be beneficial as it could allow for open communication between the two of you?
We are here for whatever you need, and I think @jorge 's advice was really helpful, so please do let us know how things are, if you feel comfortable to
Its so nice that you've found someone you really like and have been able to connect with. It sounds like he reallyl ikes you and care for you deeply. I am sorry your parents reacted so negatively when they found out you had a boyfriend. I am glad that you can still find times when you can speak to him, even if it is just for a little bit each day. I can't imagine how frustrating it must feel for you to have your phonetaken away. Your parents don't have the right to violate your privacy like that and look thorugh your message to him. I am sorry that they did that. Although I can understand their concerns, smoking weed can be quite harmful when you are young and if you smoke it regularly. But there is nothing wrong with engaging with it from time to time for fun. I think your parents are just concerned for you and don't want you to get brought down the wrong path and they obvisously think that your boyfriend could do that. However, taking away your phone and telling you to break up with him is not the right thing for them to do.
Perhaps you could talk to your parents about how this has made you feel and about how much your boyfriends means to.It seems they are worried about you getting into drugs so perhps reassure them that you are not going to do them.
It might also be good to mention to your boyfriend to not mention smoking weed when you message as this seems to be what is upsetting your parents.
I am really sorry that your parents don't give you any privacy, it must be incredibly frustrating. I can understand why you feel so paranoid. Its a shame that they don't trust you not to be influenced by him and it really good that your boyfriend respects you and your decisions, it sounds like you too have a very good relationship. If you have already spoken to your parents and they don't seem to understand then there might not be much else to do but wait. With time they might see that your relationship is deeper than they believe it to be and grow to be more supportive when they see that your boyfriend is not going anywhere despite what they say.
It might be difficult to wait for when u get a phone after alevels, but its seems like you have founds ways to talk to your boyfriend which is really good. It also a good sign that your boyfriend is reassuring you.
From what it sounds you guys have a really solid foundation and while this situation is not ideal, it seems like you can make it work, and it wont be forever.
I really hope you guys can make it as you both see really happy with each other.
In terms of your parents though, it must feel beyond gutting to feel like they don't trust you enough with a smartphone or your own internet access, without them supervising it pretty heavily. No one should be made to feel like they have to hide things from their parents in order for their relationship to survive. Your happiness and sense of love is super important and I know that must be made confusing when people who love do not treat you the way you need. You truly are doing so wonderfully to share all of this with us, and I'm curious about whether conversations with your parents have ever led down the path of 'can I be trusted with more responsibility?'