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I had nightmares (TW:suicidal feelings)

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I was trying to sleep last night knowing that the ambulance might come but yeah they didn't. I had nightmares of trying to end my life but was not successful and people kept my door open without me knowing. The worst part was that in that nightmare my mum died instead of me :( My heart is still racing right now I feel super guilty and I am still not sure if the ambulance will come. I hope they don't because I don't want to be outside and suffer a crime again :(
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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Comments

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,303 Part of The Furniture
    edited September 2021
    Hi @Kate_20,

    Sorry to hear that you have had nightmares and you thought the ambulance might arrive but it did not. It sounds like you had a really tough night. Can you clarify the link between the ambulance not arriving, crime and your nightmares? Knowing this could enable us to support you further or signpost you to appropriate support. I am sending you hugs! Please try to make time for self-care as it sounds like you are experiencing a difficult time.

    If you have been affected by anything you have read here, contact Samaritans by calling 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org or contact Papyrus by calling 0800 068 41 41, texting 07786 209 697 or emailing pat@papyrus-uk.org
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Laura_tigger82 See this link https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3599400/i-have-used-up-all-my-energy-and-i-reached-nowhere#latest
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 321 The Mix Regular
    hey @Kate_20 ,

    I hear you, did the helpline give you an idea when the ambulance was going to arrive? I can sense the strongness you have reaching out i admire you for that. And the crime, that sounds really hard and i cannot imagine what your mind must feel like.
    Self care for you right now might be best, maybe have a bath? face mask have a girly night?
    The ambulance might of not turned up but, the helplines out there aka, Samaritans 116 123 and shout can help with whatever the issue maybe try reaching out to them?
    Like i said previously your so brilliant explaining this and you are so strong and you deserve the help you can get. are the police doing anything to support you? with my crime they had special officers to help with my well being, have they given you any support or sent you different ways to access help by any chance?

    everyone here loves and cares about you, keep reaching out lovely,

    Summer <3
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    hey @Kate_20 ,

    I hear you, did the helpline give you an idea when the ambulance was going to arrive? I can sense the strongness you have reaching out i admire you for that. And the crime, that sounds really hard and i cannot imagine what your mind must feel like.
    Self care for you right now might be best, maybe have a bath? face mask have a girly night?
    The ambulance might of not turned up but, the helplines out there aka, Samaritans 116 123 and shout can help with whatever the issue maybe try reaching out to them?
    Like i said previously your so brilliant explaining this and you are so strong and you deserve the help you can get. are the police doing anything to support you? with my crime they had special officers to help with my well being, have they given you any support or sent you different ways to access help by any chance?

    everyone here loves and cares about you, keep reaching out lovely,

    Summer <3

    @Past User Thank you summer. No they didn't. They said the ambulance is coming and they are going to call me but did not happen. I spent last night sleeping when I should have been awake. I discovered that they have not called me yet. I would try to do some self care but it would be really hard if the ambulance turns up half-way. The police are still not getting through to me I don't know what is wrong :(
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 321 The Mix Regular
    edited September 18
    Kate_20 wrote: »
    Past User wrote: »
    hey @Kate_20 ,

    I hear you, did the helpline give you an idea when the ambulance was going to arrive? I can sense the strongness you have reaching out i admire you for that. And the crime, that sounds really hard and i cannot imagine what your mind must feel like.
    Self care for you right now might be best, maybe have a bath? face mask have a girly night?
    The ambulance might of not turned up but, the helplines out there aka, Samaritans 116 123 and shout can help with whatever the issue maybe try reaching out to them?
    Like i said previously your so brilliant explaining this and you are so strong and you deserve the help you can get. are the police doing anything to support you? with my crime they had special officers to help with my well being, have they given you any support or sent you different ways to access help by any chance?

    everyone here loves and cares about you, keep reaching out lovely,

    Summer <3

    @Past User Thank you summer. No they didn't. They said the ambulance is coming and they are going to call me but did not happen. I spent last night sleeping when I should have been awake. I discovered that they have not called me yet. I would try to do some self care but it would be really hard if the ambulance turns up half-way. The police are still not getting through to me I don't know what is wrong :(

    oh i am sorry :( i hope they get in touch i am here for you <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,303 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20,

    Thanks for signposting me to your other post, it was really insightful. I can understand more now about why you are struggling. My understanding particularly comes from being a university student myself who has previously been through the extenuating circumstances process. I have responded to the linked discussion and I hope it helps! :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 321 The Mix Regular
    @Kate_20 i hope you get the support you deserve we all love and care take good care of yourself <3
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    edited September 18
    Past User wrote: »
    @Kate_20 i hope you get the support you deserve we all love and care take good care of yourself <3

    @Past User They are calling me now it is super stressful. They are going to call me again but they cannot guarantee anything
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 321 The Mix Regular
    edited September 18
    Kate_20 wrote: »
    Past User wrote: »
    @Kate_20 i hope you get the support you deserve we all love and care take good care of yourself <3

    @Past User They are calling me now it is super stressful. They are going to call me again but they cannot guarantee anything

    okay take care and update me after if you fell comfortable :) take care
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Hi @Kate_20,

    Sounds like things have been super stressful. Sending so many hugs your way :heart:

    It must have been stressful not knowing if or when the ambulance/telephone call was going to come. You deserve to feel safe and supported, always. I'm wondering how things are for you today?

    We are right here to listen and support you if/whenever you would like. Take good care :heart:
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    coc0mac wrote: »
    Hi @Kate_20,

    Sounds like things have been super stressful. Sending so many hugs your way :heart:

    It must have been stressful not knowing if or when the ambulance/telephone call was going to come. You deserve to feel safe and supported, always. I'm wondering how things are for you today?

    We are right here to listen and support you if/whenever you would like. Take good care :heart:

    @coc0mac Not so good. They did a Mental Health Act Assessment on me and I am free now. The crisis team is not calling me so I am not calling them. I am extremely anxious as I don't know about the rules in a new city. I still have to pay the debt and sort out my ID card. I am running out of phone data and also phone credit balance.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @Kate_20 I am sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine how scary that must have been. Do you think it would be it a good idea to talk to your mum? If that is not possible, you could try writing it down or at least expressing your emotions in some way. I want you to understand that it was a nightmare and even though it was scary, it was not real life. Can I ask you to clarify why you would be suffering a crime, I was unsure on what that meant. I hope you are ok and can get through this and I definitely hope you stop getting nightmares. Stay safe.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    maryam852 wrote: »
    @Kate_20 I am sorry you are going through this, I can't imagine how scary that must have been. Do you think it would be it a good idea to talk to your mum? If that is not possible, you could try writing it down or at least expressing your emotions in some way. I want you to understand that it was a nightmare and even though it was scary, it was not real life. Can I ask you to clarify why you would be suffering a crime, I was unsure on what that meant. I hope you are ok and can get through this and I definitely hope you stop getting nightmares. Stay safe.

    @maryam852 I cannot talk to my mum about this. She does not know that I am suicidal. I don't have time to write anything my deadlines are coming up. I suffered a crime when I was waiting for an ambulance.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    @Kate_20 I am so sorry that you are going through this but I am so happy you are able to tell people how you are feeling, it is very brave.
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    maryam852 wrote: »
    @Kate_20 I am so sorry that you are going through this but I am so happy you are able to tell people how you are feeling, it is very brave.

    Thanks @maryam852
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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