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Your fave thing about urself
AislingDM
Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
in General Chat
It can be anything from a physical feature, to a skill, a hobby, a trait - anything goes I just want to see some self-love, even if it's the smallest thing in the world because you guys deserve to see how awesome you ARE!!!
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I admire my hair a lot. Back then, I was picked on for it a lot because it 'made me look like a boy' but as time went on, I've learned to embrace it.
I love my 4c hair and nothing nor no one can do anything to change it.
Well done! It honestly is something to be so proud of, and is one of the things that keeps me going. We’ve been through so much and it’s only made us stronger.
It’s a difficult thing to accept your past and even see the benefits of negative experiences. They’ve shaped you into the incredible person you are today!
@m3gan04 Thank you so much! I totally agree with everything you've said, I wouldn't be the person I am today without everything I've been through, and the truth is, I really like who I've become! So I'm thankful for them in a way. Thank you so much for your reply, it was really sweet to read
Years later the people I trusted most did exactly that... I was so fixated on the negative aspects of other people’s lives that I felt obliged to help them feel happy even at the cost of my own happiness/well-being. A naive people pleaser.
I felt like a naive people pleaser who was too optimistic. However, it was only after I empathised with my abuser that my empathetic nature became something I love.
I was filled with so much anger, regret and self-blame. I’d lay awake every night, or be consistently awoken by nightmares, thinking of why... why me? Why didn’t I listen? Why do I let people do this to me?
After the court case came back as a not guilty verdict due to lack of evidence I realised these emotions would never pass - there was no closure. These intense emotions would only do more harm to my own mental health. I found peace in trying to understand the reasoning behind my abusers actions. Analysing his life, actions and current attitudes. I took myself back to memorable locations to prompt my memory and fully accept the past. My empathy to his loneliness, poor upbringing etc. Helped me move on. I now have the answer to those questions, and understand that
it wasn’t my fault!
It wasn’t my people pleasing, my empathy, my nativity, rather his personal upbringing and choices.
An explanation for his behaviour does not justify the action
My empathy is not a weakness, rather my own philosophical tool to mental peace and acceptance.
As has been said, developing confidence in any sense can be immensely tough and I want you all to know that it is a wonderful thing to know your own beauty. You deserve this, and despite what some people say, it is not arrogant to compliment yourself, in actuality it is the only thing we can do to realise how cool we all are!
@m3gan04 Thank you so very much for sharing your amazing trait and your difficult experiences. Facing abuse in this way must have been truly awful for you, and beyond undeserved! You are so so right, your empathy is a gift, no matter how others might make you feel about it. If your empathy towards your abuser could bring you peace, then it could never be a bad thing! You are so brave and amazing for this, I hope you are proud of yourself