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Took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers
And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did
But I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it
My undying love, now I hold it like a grudge
And I hear your voice every time that I think I'm not enough
And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream
How could anybody do the things you did so easily?
And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine
But you know I can't let it go
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long
It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong
There's no damn way that you
Could fall in love with somebody that quickly
Ain't it funny
All the twisted games
All the questions you used to avoid?
Ain't it funny?
Remember I brought her up
And you told me I was paranoid
You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt,
You'd talk to her
When we were together
you said you cared
But that didn't matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and replace me
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor
But I don't wanna be here
I got some things to get off my chest
But maybe it's best I keep it a secret
31st December, the first of Jan
Same shit, I don't care 'bout the new year
New house somewhere that ain't poverty driven
It's mad in the place that I grew in
Just to take a minute of the pain away
Cause I'm scared that I believe in nothin'
Am I on my own?
I don't wanna break but I did it today
Cause I only have myself to blame
Should I just let go?
I'm afraid to let go
I'd do anything
Anything
Just to feel something
Just to feel something
Yeah I'd give everything
Everything
Just to feel something
Just to feel something
You'll never see it on my face
Put together on the outside on the inside
I'mma 'bouta break
Of the things that I'm not
But you'll never know unless you walk in my shoes
You'll never know
'Cause everybody sees what they wanna see
It's easier to judge me than to believe
From people you know to people you don't
And what hurts the most is people can go
From people you know to people you don't
Left behind the stones that bruised you black
You might be running running but you've been...
Learning to convince yourself there's no more attack
You now know
How to end this fuel, now you've become immune
You jumped out of the fire
You can tell
When being stuck in the mist of all the fumes
You can jump out of the fire
Freeze up when I'm near you
Forget the words that I need you to hear
These shapes and colors overwhelm my vision
Losing power
Oh I'm losing power
That's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go
To dry her eyes, broken inside
Away from every memory of you, you?
Let that be a lesson to me
Think not with my heart but with my head, oh
But I never really had it in me, did I, did I?
No, I never really had it in me, did I?
Said I never really had it in me, did I, did I, did I?
I was on the outside, always looking in
Yeah, I was there but I wasn't
They never really cared if I was in
'As you get older, your heart dies'
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it
Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it
~ Castle (Halsey)
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy
All of the memories, yeah, all of the misery
Let all the flames get higher
Take all your shit and leave, I know you not missing me
Ashes to ashes, then we turn to smoke
And I guess that's just how this thing goes
So come set this house on fire
Now that I'm so damn tired
Tired of the bullshit, girl
Tired of the games you play
Tired of the running 'round, going up and down
But we stay in place
I don't even know what's left
You just wanna take my breath
Leave me guessin' your next step
Walking 'round with a hole in my chest
And tbh I need a hand to hold rn
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
Now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I filled your cup until it overflowed
Took it so far to keep you close
I was afraid to leave you on your own
I said I'd catch you if you fall
And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all
And then I got you off your knees
Put you right back on your feet
Just so you could take advantage of me
Tell me how's it feel sittin' up there?
Feeling so high but too far away to hold me
You know I'm the one who put you up there
Name in the sky
Does it ever get lonely?
Thinking you could live without me