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My Mind 💔😭🖤

_Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
This might be a trigger warning
So my mind has been all over the place really mostly when I’m bored I suddenly feel really low and I question things a lot sometimes I think I’m better off not being here because if you didn’t know I haven’t got many friends just because I’m in a wheelchair I think and there is nothing else wrong I just can’t walk but people don’t understand that I can’t change that it just upsets me when I don’t have very many friends and the ones I do have nearly always start drama.
This boy in my class liked me for ages but I’ve never felt the same but I got with him to make him happy but I do t think it was working out so I broke up with him because I didn’t have the same feelings as him I think it’s all my fault that I broke up with him but I just didn’t feel the same I couldn’t just carry on like it.
Before all that tho I went to online date and I kept getting played they would stay with me for a day and then block me. All I want is to find my soulmate one who understands me and won’t mess around but I don’t think I ever will which is making me feel like crap 🥺😭😣
Tagged: Relationships Single Life and Dating Stress Mental Health Friendships
lovemimoon

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 7,358 Master Poster
    Hey Emoji,

    I'm sorry to hear you've got a lot on your mind right now, I think it's understandable to feel worse when your bored because you've got more time to think about things and your mind isn't busy.

    I don't have much advice for you but just wanted to say it's great you're opening up here and we're always here.

    In terms of relationships you'll find the right person one day, it might take some time and there might be a few who aren't right for you, but eventually you'll find someone who is if you keep on looking! <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    _Tech_Addict_Girl
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 436 Moderator
    Hey @Emoji246, just wanted to check in on how you've been doing lately? I know you've really been going through it, so please do feel free to vent/talk.

    Big hugs <3
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @AislingDM Hey thanks for asking it’s still the same got worse but one good thing is I started my job on Friday ❤️How are you doing?
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 436 Moderator
    Oh bless your heart :( You're in such a difficult and confusing situation, I can imagine that none of this is easy for you, I am only glad that you feel able to come here and talk about it all with us - you deserve love and support @Emoji246! It sounds like you're a really caring person and you deserve that same care back :)

    omg that sounds amazing!! you must be thrilled? how has the job been going for you?

    I am okay thanks - looking forward to some chocolate cake later <3
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @AislingDM Yes I’m not going to lie it is difficult and confusing and on top of all that to is more problems now.
    Thankyou so much for saying that that’s so lovely of you to say.
    We can be friends if you want❤️
    Yes that is amazing that I finally started working. The job has been going good I think I enjoy the job.
    You can also call me by my name if you want my name is Alina.
    That sounds nice what chocolate cake have you got ❤️✨
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 436 Moderator
    You're too kind Alina (lovely name btw!!) friendship is a beautiful thing and I love you offering that to me - defo <3@Emoji246

    But 100% I get what you mean being in such a baffling position is never nice! You mentioned a happy relationship being really important to you - and this makes sense because relationships can bring us such happiness - I'm wondering if you've ever had a look at the Brook's website? because it really does have some awesome advice about processing the end of relationships, but also general feelings around love, romance and sexuality. URL here if you'd like to have a little look, more than fine if not :)

    https://brook.org.uk/topics/relationships/

    I'm sorry to hear that there are more problems now :( That must make everything all the more overwhelming for you. I want you to know that you're more than welcome to vent out your problems and feelings here if you'd like!

    I'm curious, does the job involve working with others?

    CAKE was amazing I cannot lie - cannot go wrong with a beautiful mousse/ganache choco cake ;)
    _Tech_Addict_Girl
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 123 Moderator
    @Emoji246 Hi Alina! I'm glad you reached out, it can be awful when there's already a lot on your mind but more problems keep springing up. Is there anything you'd like to talk about? We're all here for you.

    It's great that you're enjoying your job, it's nice to have something positive to do and keep your mind occupied especially during this time.
    _Tech_Addict_Girl
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @AislingDM Hey sorry late reply I am Alina I just changed my name I’m glad you understand what I’m saying and no I haven’t checked that website I might check it out Thankyou for the link. Also yes the job does involve working with others❤️I’m glad you enjoyed your cake☺️Remember you can DM me anytime ✨
    AislingDM
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @Gemma Hey yes I can agree that it can be awful and overwhelming I don’t think there is anything to talk about but if something pops up In my mind I will I really appreciate you are all here for me❤️Yes I love my job ☺️
  • ZenZen Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,993 Extreme Poster
    Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl :)

    How are you feeling now?
    Alis propriis volat 
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @Zen Hey how are you ☺️
  • sailingswallowssailingswallows Posts: 63 Boards Initiate
    Hi @_Tech_Addict_Girl who
    I'm a wheelchair users too. Relationship in general can be tricky when we are disabled, particularly because it is visible that will put some people off. I have developed the kind of attitude of that if people cannot accept that I am disabled then I do not have the extra energy into maintaining a "friendship" with them. I have chronic fatigue and have very limited capacity, I cannot afford to waste energy in people who try and change me.
    Are you part of any organisations that allow you to meet other young, disabled people? I do wheelchair basketball as an idea?
    How many friends you have or wether you are non-disabled has nothing to do with your worth.
    Ge
    _Tech_Addict_Girl
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    edited May 3
    @sailingswallows Hey and welcome to the boards I don’t think I’ve seen you around before so welcome and aw that’s nice to here your in a wheelchair too. Yes I agree it can be really hard and especially when I get attached to the person because I get attached easily. No I’m not in an organisation. I have been in another long distance relationship for a few weeks tho is that bad? Also his at his dads house today well he has for the weekend but he says he will ring when he gets home but his having drinks with his dad but I was on the phone to him earlier and he said he can’t wait to speak to me again later do you think that is true what he said? But he won’t be back till 1-2 and he said I don’t want to keep you waiting because I have to have a shower too when I get back.
    I agree with you if people don’t expect you don’t bother but I’m kind of different like that I worry that people don’t like me❤️.
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @Zen I’m not too bad ❤️
  • sailingswallowssailingswallows Posts: 63 Boards Initiate
    @_Tech_Addict_Girl
    I used to be like that, if anyone showed any kind of interest or anything I would kind of cling onto it and so anything to keep it going, when I learnt more about my self, I learned when my body was telling me the situation was not right.
    Long distance relationships are bad, as with all relationship try not to lose yourself into the relationship. You don't have to be a doormat and do what ever anyone asks to have friends.
    People respect when you can be yourself.
    I used to worry that people dont like me and sometimes I still do however part of it is that most of my social interactions now are in supportive environment or with existing friends (currently maintaining around 4 close I don't think I would manage much more).
    I would strongly recommend finding a group that fits with an interest, it doesn't have to involve other disabled young people, but if it does bonus. None of my friends come from an educational environment.
    Ge
    lovemimoon
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Sparkle ✨ Posts: 1,181 Wise Owl
    @sailingswallows I’m glad you went with what your body was telling you that was a very good thing to do I will try my best not to be too attached to the relationship because I know if it ends I will be really upset and hurt about it but fingers crossed it won’t happen🥺I will try and go in an organisation what you said and try it. Also about worry about people not liking you and overthinking actually messes with peoples head it certainly messes with mine alot❤️But working hard to try not and overthink
    sailingswallows
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 436 Moderator
    It's truly awesome to see you being so open here @_Tech_Addict_Girl and I am glad that you're chatting with @sailingswallows too because it seems like you can relate to some of each others' experiences which is always helpful <3
    _Tech_Addict_Girlsailingswallowsnaomi
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